Young man I know is getting married next month and he ask if I had any good advice , the only thing I told was if he comes in from work and them beans are burning just let em burn ..

WTF. LOL.

Get it when you can.

For the first year you are married, put a bean in the jar every time you have oral sex.
Then starting the day of your first anniversary, take a bean out of the jar every time you have oral sex.
See how long it takes to get rid of the beans.

pull her hair

she likes it

From the ‘hub…..


Just cause she’s talking to you on the phone, doesn’t mean she’s alone.

😂😂

Never let your guard down.

Prenup!

Make sure he's a better shot than she is....

Find one that has a high tolerance for Bull Sh#t and you will be fine.

Modern feminism has ruined women.

"All hope abandon, ye who enter here."

Looks like you better look elsewhere for advice

Tell him it's not too late to avoid screwing up his life.

The start of a relationship requires you to not come home too early......... when you go out with your buddies (drinking) don't come home before 5:00am, if you do, they expect you to be home early every time you go out drinking with your buddies.
That is the best advice I have to offer.

She knows what she wants. She wants you to choose because she wants you to be happy. She will only be happy if your choice is what she wants. The females of all mammal species are six times more vocal than the male. Learn to take hints.

And most importantly, remember that we would all still be laying on the sidewalk, burning ants with a magnifying glass, if it weren't for women. Men change slowly. Women change by the second.

Oh....and they know they're crazy, but it usually doesn't behoove you to remind them.

"marriage is an institution, and who the hell wants to live in an institution"

On the more serious side: when you get home from work, before you unload on her, ask "how was YOUR day?", then listen to her.

OR

You could explain the 3 rings of marriage.

The honey moon , gave a young man this advice as he was tying the knot .
It is called the ankle sweep test .
You want to be sure this is going to work while you can still get it anulled , right ?
You get to your destination , sweep her up into your arms and carry her in gently setting her on her feet , looking into her eyes with the sweetest smile you can muster .
Looking in her eyes , tell her she is beautiful and slowly trace your hands down the sides of her face , down over her shoulders all the while expressing the beauty of her charms , down her hips, down her thighs and run your hands to the back of her ankles , grasp them firmly , come up as quick as you can reaching for the ceiling, as the back of her shoulder slap the floor , snatch her legs apart and spit in it and nail it , when finished release her ankles , go set on the couch , turn on a hunting channel and tell her to get you a beer .
If she brings you that beer , she’s yours forever .
This boy was in his twenties , Christian , never been laid , as was his soon to be wife .
His cheeks are red , eyes big and says , yeah , right ! She’ll kill me !
I lost it , cracked the fugg up .
So he goes home and runs it by her , he was astonished that she busted out a big belly laugh . And said invite him to our wedding .
Again I cracked up , but due to health reasons wasn’t able to make the wedding
But got the both a gift card for cabelas .
She is a hunter and he just sent me a picture of her with a nice 10 point buck she killed this year .
They are good people .
Kenneth

My advice to any man getting married today - Hide Your Sh|t.

You're one of the wisest people I've ever met.

Never go to bed mad. Your a team.

You should never wait too long for this one.....On the first date you should say....I thought I told you to shut up....
If she shuts up then proceed from there.

Shoulda told him to just beat off and buy guns.

Don’t sugar coat your hunting and fishing. Make sure she knows what is going to take precedence. If she’s not alright with it now, she’s not going to be in the future. And if she is high maintenance, get out while you still can.

When a man marries a woman he thinks she will never change.

When a woman marries a man she thinks that she can change him.

Neither one is true.

That's as accurate as it gets.

Thats how I have my wife now - her first husband stayed out to 5am getting drunk and whoring around immediately after they got married.

A couple of nights going out looking for him had her thinking the grass was greener elsewhere.

I would say the best advice is she knows the worst thing about you and is OK with it, then its gonna work out. But if she isn't ready to know you wash your ass with the guest towels, then its probably not going to work out.

Her take? Well, he might wash his ass with the guest towels but he ain't out whoring around at 5am.

You will never empty the jar ....

Best advice I ever heard was from Paul Harvey. He said "Don't do anything when you are first married that you don't want to do the rest of your life".

It he does exactly what she says, exactly when she says to do it, he will get along great!!!!

Put each other first.

A big + 1 on hide your sh t. And all kidding aside,tell the young man to build up a war chest,a marriage is a 50/50 shot these days,if it goes bad,he'll need money and lots of it.Tell him to put aside hidden money every week,even if it's only 5 bucks,AND, never,EVER touch it it! Doing that is the only thing that saved me when all went bad with my ex.Best and smartest thing i ever did with her,and i thank God every day an older guy that i respected at work told me to do that and that by some miracle,i listened !

Yeah, hide money from your spouse, that's the secret to a lasting marriage. I'm sure it was your wife's fault you got divorced....

Was at hunt camp back in the day when cell phones were new. One fella who had one was going around asking if any one would like to call their wives. Most all did. I said no thanks. If I do it once she'll get used to it and expect it.

To this day she doesn't expect a phone call. You need a strategy.

I would tell the boy they his job is to provide resources. Hers is to use them to build a family and future. That means she gets an awful lot more of his money than he expects. Hopefully his momma made sure his bride to be was up to the task before he proposed.

You've still got time to change your mind!

A friend of mine stopped at a gas station on his way to getting married. I think he was wearing a suit or a tux, I can't remember, but he said 3 guys next to him were filling up their truck pulling a camper going hunting for the weekend. They asked him what he was doing and said with some pride that he was about to get married. They told him they'd give him $100 and he could spend the weekend hunting with them if he didin't do it. Told him he'd thank them and pay them back in a couple of years.

He declined and for the most part it worked out. They stayed married for about 20 years before divorcing and still get along, but I never forgot him telling me that story.

I always had a crush on his wife since kindergarten and at one point the opportunity presented itself to me but I couldn't do that to a friend. She'll always be the one that got away.

There's a hell of a lot more truth to that than meets the eye.
Paul B.

separate checking accounts

Dont argue, just dicker

Told mine i was hunting before she came along, will hunt while shes here, and hunt when she' s gone.

Lasted about 12 yrs.

I hunt whenever i want now.

People ( too many ) think adding a person to their life will.make them happy. Nope. They can ADD happiness.....but you gotta be happy with/ by yourself first.

And most are not.

Weather change. Arthritis kicking my ass.

Which reminds me...

Guys should do the big hunts and travel while young and able.

Shouldnt get married til 40 and require both parents written permission LOL

Any thing she will not do in bed before getting married aint gonna change.

Dont lie to her no matter how trivial, and don’t tolerate it from her.

Don’t say anything about her you wouldn’t say to her. And expect the same.

That explains a lot.

LOL

Learning to spell might be a good start.

LOL

This is why I can't tell you any of the nice things I think about you.

Golly shucks.

LOL

If you only knew how hard it's been.

Tell him nothing good comes out of [bleep] ing her sister.

If she packs you a lunch--for work, hunting, whatever--NEVER take it back home even if you don't eat it.

These opinions are all B.S. , I’m telling you the ankle sweep test is fool proof !
Trust me 😎
Also the things you don’t get done on your honey moon can be done , it’s all in presentation.

I had to quote you because of the young Christian man, never having been laid.
I worked with one and gave him some unsolicited advice about getting married.
I told him to buy a nice new king size bed and it should be as sturdy as a pool table. He asked why and I told him since he had never been laid he was going to need something that could take a real pounding. He blushed and stammered a little bit and tried to say he would have more respect for his bride blah, blah, blah.
I also told him to pick a place to live that was at least 15 minutes from either of their families. Again he asked why and I told him he would be busy with that pool table sturdy bed and he wouldn't want anyone dropping by unannounced.
I forgot all of this until I saw him a good 6-7 years later. He introduced me to his wife and said they took the advice I gave him several years ago. I completely forgot and he reminded me of what I advised him to do. Now I was a little embarrassed but asked if it worked out. They both smiled broadly and gave big affirmative nods and showed me the pictures of their 2 beautiful daughters.

I take my wife so I have someone to skin deer and clean fish.

That's not true in the least. I've done a lot with married women that they had never done before

get an anullment

Five Secrets to happiness:
1) Find a woman that makes you laugh
2) Find a woman that can cook
3) Find a woman that really listens and never interrupts
4) Find a woman who is amazing in bed
5) make sure that these 4 women do not find out about each other

The key to having a good relationship is not to find the right mate.

It's to BE the right mate.

don't schit with the door open

It's too late, he is hooked.

My advice to my daughters, and this is what I did,
try really hard to find a reason to not get married.
Don't be petty, or stupid. But look, hard.
If you can find it. Don't get married.

Way too many people overlook things for love.
Those things become impossible later.

Advise for a newlywed?



Yes..

Tell him to use advise and advice when appropriate.

And, when back-pack hunting, NEVER let her carry the gun.... short legs, short temper, and a backpack ain't a good combination.

(We went sheep hunting on our honeymoon..... )

Mostly yes, but our lack of masculinity has also allowed boys to be stepped on by feminism.


This is good info, but he's asking for the groom, not the bride.


Good, but only if they both do the same, otherwise resentment abounds.


Yup, but this should be standard for every relationship we have. I say a bunch of harsh things, but I don't lie, and I won't censor my speech for anyone.


THIS IS HUGE, BTDT. If she asks, just say it was good, and no more. BTW, make sure you look at what it is before you ditch it... she might ask how was the PB&J, when she made you a turkey sandwich.


Yes, but again it needs both sides to truly work, one sided relationships will always fail, as our society generally promotes hedonistic individualism anymore.


I really like this... Not in a cynical or malicious way, but to definitely look at their character in every facet and see if there is anything that could create issues later.


I've never been married, but I was heading that way twice...both of them would have turned sour eventually with hindsight. 'The Red Pill' will help to explain women's motives in relationships, but there's a lot of womanizing in it as well.

Some good advice I heard was:

Put in 100% and only expect 80%. That way you'll never feel like you're doing all the work.

When I was a newlywed, I didn't know the difference between vaseline and window caulk.

All my windows fell out!

My first year of marriage I was getting ready to go to camp. My wife pleaded with me to stay with her. I did think about it but I didnt give in. Fortunately I had listened to an old timer that said dont let your new wife mold you into what she wants you to be you will not stay married for long. We,ve been married 26 years and I pretty much hunt and fish whenever I want to. My best friend got married soon after me. He gave into his wifes demands imediately. They are still married BUT he only hunts or fishes when she says he can. Which is very seldom!! Women always want to change you