Not just Slumlord but lately its been apparent there's a few experts in crapology here judging by the threads lately so where better to look for advice.

On and off the atv all weekend we got a lot of snow to plow so just ate junk food here and there and no proper meals and I'm backed up like an old man that tied into 5 pounds of government cheese.
I even had breakfast today at Popeyes, spicy chickin sammich platter... usually enough for explosive results but no sir. Still tighter n a drum Only day two so I'm not panicing? yet?

Is it true that Taco Bell is as bad as they say. Should I try that next?

Taco Bell, or an Extra Large coffee and 2-3 Allsup's burritos.

Dejavue

Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears

Bound up??

You braggin bastid.



My butt’s been doing the Mr Coffee drip-O’-lator every hour on the hour

That egg mcmuffin outside of Ft Rucker, Ala tore me up 🤢 💩💩💩🥴

One of those little stool softners.

those burn on the way out too or is that haribo non pepper related

Haha

The Hell Bears

No. Not bragging. At. All.

Can anyone tell me just WTF there is for an evolutionary or ecological benefit with this condition? Or is it just more punishment

Stacked hockey pucks flying in 3. 2. 1......

You need to get to ARBY’S

STAT!!

slam a beef n cheddar with 2 packs arbys sauce and 1 pack of horsey

A 16oz block of hoop cheese.

I think I better fast a lil while. You guys are advising a lot of eating and drinking here.

Hydrocodone.



Thank me later.

It would be a gift to be able to make it 3-5 days in between load drops.

Make a big horse shoe

Show it off to all your friends

Had projectile vomiting from Taco Bell once thought maybe that'd transfer over

If nothing else, its worth reading through the Amazon product reviews. Those F'ers will have you in tears from laughter and sympathy.

Indian curry ..... don't wander too far from the crapper

Drink some water and eat some bran you jackwagon.

NO
NO
NO

not for being already locked up

sheesh

He wont chit for 10 days

Eat some prunes and don't stray too far from a toilet.

That'd taste like schit not sure I can get past that to see if it'll make any

That was my ol man's go to so he said anyway. But he lied a lot.

I dunno, but stay away from beer 'til you get things unclogged. One time I ate most of a brick of cheese over the weekend ... grilled cheese, cheese slices, nachos. Long came Sunday night 'n' I was feeling mighty bloated. Seemed like a nice cold beer would sooth my stomach. Hell no, it foamed up, couldn't travel down so it came back up: I projectile vomited for 3 days. Don't. Do. That.

Typical chemies... conflicting reports all the time

That saying... scared the schit outta me.

Don't buy it. I've been plenty scared a few times didn't poop my pants.

Eat 2 Quest bars now. You'll be good to go in the morning . Thank me later. Them things are magic.

Chocolate chip or oatmeal cookie are pretty good.

Sauerkraut will make make magic happen in 20 minutes

Sometimes with frightening result

sheww buddy

Lol

Got some kraut in the fridge!
Lot of good sounding advice.. maybe I make a prune juice, sour kraut slurpy to wash down an Arby's sammy

Eat one of these and don’t leave the house.

car service station near my location

Seriously 😒

LOL

That name sounds Jewish. I'll pm Remsen and see if its kosher

How about ex lax? Do they even make that any more?

LSD?

I"d post that link to Kingston's buddy, but I think that might make it work.

Better not jack... when this puppy breaks loose I need my wits about me

No, it's not, trust me.

And +1 on the prunes, three or four of the dried ones will do the trick.

Man! All he’s trying to do is loosen up a little and have a successful trip to the bathroom. He’s not wanting a hole in the side of his house! 😂 recommending those is just cruel!

I had that one with a big question mark beside it. My spidey senses were going off

Pound green apples relentlessly till you’re runnin for the head

Cage match??

Gotta love that manitol and those other related compounds, eh?

grind up some a them recommended gummies in that smoothie too.

Another dry run. This keeps up the hemrods gonna be next 😫

That feller has digestion issues. Looks like shrimp etouffee on the mat,

Eat five apples, if that doesn't get it started, get a spoon!😆

Apple juice or apple cider

Wife and SandBully say I’m fat…I say I’m just full of shît.

We’ll see by tomorrow morning who’s right. Dropping the drano now!

Hold into the toilet. 💩🙄



🦫

If you don't chew tobbacy....try ...don't spit

Oh man, are you gonna have fun tonight!

Quart of prune juice,stay close to the John

Taco Bell doesnt phase me.
Lactose intolerant so not a big cheese eater.
However, a couple colby slices on a sandwich are good.
But limit would be 2 sammys a day like that or things would start backing up.

I have arthritis in spine and also a middle disc/ vert that slides out often.

So when it goes i pretty much quit eating and/or going to the bathroom. Just shuts it all off.
Wait a couple days and see if things return to normal.

If not, go to chiropractor.
And then home. As things WILL move within 2 hrs.
Trophy type dumps

Maybe a chiro visit would help the OP if his back is out of whack and causing the problem

.

I never said you were fat.

If it starts to talk to you for more than four hours see immediate medical help.

I new it would come to this with all these crazy topics.

One down the hatch…The other bottle held in reserve.



🍐 needed

🦫

Stay away from the opiates.

That’s some ❤️ right there…

🦫

Prunes and prune juice will loosing you up.

303

Get your knees up on about a 1ft high on a box or anything. Get your knee caps about level with your man tits or collar bones

Go get reamed at the Blue Oyster bar.

One of these will fix you right up in a jiffy

What does an accountant do when he is constipated?

He pencils it out.

A few of us have tried to clean this place up but its never really catches on. Maybe new years resolutions and all will turn a new leaf and we can finally get rid of the sophomoric behavior here and gross threads.

Slamming a Mountain Dew Kick Start right now. Don't know if it'll do any good but it tastes all right

Squatty Potty

Well????
Has the eagle landed???

Its been mentioned before, prune juice.

💩 💩 💩
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😁😆😆

After you settle down on the throne you must yell Release the Kraken! the instant before things break loose.

Chicken Tikka Masala is usually a surefire way to get things moving.

I knew that Popeye's chiggn sandwich would come through jes took a little longer

😳😳😳 When I was a little kid, you didn’t mention to my Grandmother that you were bound up. She’d give ya one of those in a heartbeat. 😢

Oh Fugg that !!!

A bottle gives a whole new meaning to throwing a “Rooster Tail”




🦫

Drink a cup of pickle juice. Will clean you out right good. Or couldn't try a large glass of best value vegetable juice, that stuff will work its way through you in a matter of minutes.

Getting your corn hole scoped tomorrow?

Drink lots and lots of water. Shower instead of wiping or you'll be super chafed. Ointment helps the tenderness too.

Glad the op is regular again...

Try Colon Blow:

The turdles have been set free!!!

Almost that bad when I stopped at that Rest Area other day

I don’t just casually browse filthy crapper stops when a tinge of mild urge hits me. Hell no. I ain’t no grampie Leon

It’s gotta be a DIARRHEA 911 Code Red before these cherry ass cheeks get defiled at some communal typhoid cesspool.

[bleep]. that colon blow hit too close to home I could only watch 2/3 of it

Buy yourself a t-shirt.

Almost that bad again at another time when my dad decided to suck some other old rubes into a viet nam/army aviation/sons of katie elder/leaky rear wheel brake cylinders on a 55 bel air conversation vortex. JFC, old people get on my nerves BAD often even my own old man. I had to crap BAD and he was holding me hostage with “please other old boomers give me some attention”

I had C.Diff at the time, holy hell

I should have got an Instrgram account I was reading pics of big poops are a big deal over there.

Bunch of jalapenos, 20oz coffee.
You won't thank me in the morning.
Or, the sfternoon!

Try an off batch of twice cooked pork from a strip mall Chinese takeout joint. That hit me the next morning when I had a three hour drive and had to be at a courthouse when it opened.

Some of you guys will need to read the thread about pocket knives. You will need a good sharp one to cut your shorts off when they are full instead of shucking your long pants to escape while you are squatting down out in the woods. Experience is speaking here.

Thai food. Specifically peanut sauce. Most ain't bad but we've got one place in town that uses something or other that hits me fugly. Within about a half hour I hear gurgling down south and a few minutes later it's upside down volcano time.

There’s always the time tested alternative…

YMMV

🦫

Prawn Masala over Prawn Biyani, stomach will actually have heat radiating from it. Everything will clean out slicker than chit through a tin horn. Truck stop chili cheese dogs run a close second.

Heresy! Truck stop chili cheese dogs are the bomb.

We're one poop thread away from needing a poop subforum.

that'd be the schit eh?

Took mom to the Walmart today to buy a turkey pan. There was this old lady walking out of the restrooms dragging her panties that were stuck on the toe of her shoe. The panties were full of 💩. I guess she took them off and meant to leave them in the store but they got caught on her shoe as she was walking away. I left my cellphone in the truck or I would have snapped a picture for show-n-tell...... CampFire style

#snailtrail

We'll have to swap 🦫 with 💩.

I went to Kroger today and a 500 pounder had one of their store rascal scooters waiting in the checkout line, wearing a pair of sweatpants that had worked down to his knees. Literally one bare ass-ham on either side of the seat like it was a thong bikini tucked up in his crack. I felt sorry for the poor sumbitch who has to clean those scooter seats.

Left the phone in the truck of course...

This is the correct answer.

IF you survive the day, you'll feel like a new man. You'll shït things out you forgot you had eaten. Once a year or so I'll down a bottle of that clear gold, and end up feeling fresh and renewed.

If you were a man you'd have a can of Cope that'd cure it, but then again, that, being a "man" part.....you fail......

Saw some nice pictures of deceased elk in another thread.
Thanks for finally posting some of your many elk from this season!
👍

Case of IPA’s will have you schittin’ like a missionary on the Congo.

All joking aside, best get your bowels moving as soon as possible via whatever means necessary as you DO NOT want to wind up dealing with a bowel impaction.

Young former coworker thought he was having an appendicitis attack he hurt so bad. Admitted to hospital, turned out he had impacted bowels. When wife worked in nursing homes she said patients with impacted bowel were relatively common and could be fatal if not resolved.


What Is Fecal Impaction?

I second the motion. Works for me.
Paul B.

Fun fact....The direction says one bottle SHOULD produce required therapeutic results....Beav, said, nah, let’s hit the 2nd bottle the next day - which was this afternoon.

I’ve been keeping a close eye on the bathroom for the last 2 hours. Results may very is an understatement. I’m throwing mud that I’m sure was last year’s Christmas rib roast.

Hooray!

🦫

Dad stayed plugged up the last few years of his life from the meds he took to keep him in remission. Poor guy wouldn’t even look at a piece of cheese for fear of making it worse.