A couple of mine:

A ship in the harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are built for.

If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants.

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, con a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
Robert A. Heinlein, Notebooks of Lazusarus Long

If a million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
~ ~ ~ Anatole France

"When you are hungry, it is foolish to hunt a tiger when there are plenty of sheep to be had." – Baader-Meinhof slogan

"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." – Red Adair


"The unarmed man is not just defenseless − he is also contemptible."
Machiavelli

Why be a Volkswagon when you CAN be a Ferrari?

Teal, I like that one and haven't heard it before. Thanks.

Was told to me by a guy in the Navy. Great dude. BUDs Instructor before we met.

I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy!

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


Nothing so exhilarating as being shot at and missed.

A veteran is someone's who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to the United States of
America for an amount of up to and including their life. That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.

Save money, live better, …Walmart

"Noli nothis permittere te terere."

"Attributions count " Geno, 27 Sept 2022 AD

GFY

I heard it on the Fire.

Probably some asswhole.

Fuuuck em if they can’t take a joke!!!

Everyone has their own tiny dot on this Earth that they call home.

-slumlord

Man appoints
God anoints


-slumlord again

It takes a village because all them dots are connected.

Not slumlord

Suck it Cardonas


Ren50

Once you lick the lollipop of mediocrity you will suck forever

If you work for a living, why do you kill yourself working? (The good, bad,ugly)

"I have come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly."

Fuuuck me to tears!!!

Live
Laugh
Love
--Karen

+1

MONGO!?!?

Santa Maria!

Good one

Do you have Pottery Barn or Michael’s up there??

🤣

"What the Fuque is this schit?" I been using it mostly in the last 2 years.

Would

One of our junior officers after flying a not so pretty night landing…

“I was doing alright ‘til I fooked up!” 😁

"Think of how stupid the average person is and realize half of them are stupider than that!"
George Carlin

"Son of a bitch must pay" ~ Jack Burton

Actually, if I listed all my favorite quotes, it would put me on the FBI watch list as a Militia Violent Extremist.

I forgot who said it, but back about 1993-4 when the Clinton administration was pushing the "Hillarycare" program for universal health care there were all kinds of comments. The one I remember best was, " If you think healthcare is expensive now, just wait until it's free!".

If you're gonna be a bear, be a Grizzly bear...my Dad

'Don't start nuthin, Won't be nuthin'.

'Dont let your alligator mouth overload your hummingbird ass'

paw paw always used to tell me sayings i keep to this day

"better to be thought a fool and be silent, than to speak and remove all doubt"

"if bull was penny a pound you'd be a millionaire"

"some people are like baboons, the higher up the tree they go the more they show their ass"

"take care of the penny's the dollars take care of themselves."

Nothing consolidates a man's mind ....more than the fact he is to be hanged in the morn.

On my shop teacher's door in high school:

I've done so much with so little for so long that I can now do practically anything with nothing.


Another favorite from a wise mentor that has a lot of practical implications on internet forums:

Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

keep it greasy so it go down easy-Frank Zappa. The motto of Woodmans 3rd shift for thirty years and counting

I always liked the one "joke em if they can't take a fûck"

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

Never piss off a redhead.

If you walk with a purpose eventually you will collide with destiny.

If you always chase perfection you can be assured of finding excellence along the way.

Do not double down on dumb.

Vae victis

"The reason people don’t like you Burnsy, is because you’re a [bleep]. But feel free to validate your ego by posting pictures for people you have never met and never will meet.

This is an awesome thread, and you suck cock. It is what it is." <Jeffrey>

There is no situation so bad that someone will find it funny.



mike r

Oh yeah,
We got all those places where women go to get wall signs.

If you're early, you're on time
If you're on time, you're late and
If you're late, you're lost

Il est impossible que l'improbable n'arrive jamais -Emil Gumbel

I try not to complain, because I've found that 80% don't care about my problems and the other 20% are glad that I'm having them. Tommy Lasorta.

"No news is good news"
-Most campfire attendees

Sleep; and if life was bitter to thee, pardon, If sweet, give thanks; thou hast no more to live; And to give thanks is good, and to forgive.

“You cannot reason someone out of something they were never reasoned into.”
-unknown

“Doubt is not a pleasant condition but certainty is absurd.”
- Voltaire

“Having once been in love is to be always in love.”
-Eugene Field

Or, Why be a Husky when you CAN be Furry?

in vino veritas

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.

Your father must have jerked off in a flower pot and raised a blooming [bleep] idiot

“Most people would rather die than think and many of them do!” Bertrand Russell

"The rich live like they're poor and the poor live like they're rich."

Eagles may soar in the clouds but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.

Keep on keeping on ~ Joe Dirt

Dave Mustaine on tattoos...

"You don't put a bumper sticker on a mercedes"

"Let me go find a cash machine........"

Don't go where the husky's go, and don't you eat that yellow snow.

“There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by readin’. The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.”

― Will Rogers

Years ago, an old guy said to me after I ranted to him about a minor problem I had encountered ..... "A hundred years from now, it won't make any difference at all".

These are some of the wisest words I've ever heard. All these years later, I remember the advice but cannot remember what the rant was about.

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others - Animal Farm