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I, I am.

Dudeism. Got the certificate and the whole 9 yards.

I can officiate weddings, funerals, and bowling tournaments.

You?
Universal something or other. For $7.99 or whatever it was, they sent me a little certificate as an ordained minister. Minister of what? I’ve no idea.

So I got that going for me.
Wife's mom did the internet thing so she could officiate some relatives wedding.

A few vodka tonics later it was one hell of a performance
Originally Posted by MadMooner
Universal something or other. For $7.99 or whatever it was, they sent me a little certificate as an ordained minister. Minister of what? I’ve no idea.

So I got that going for me.

You got ripped. Mine was free, but for about 25 bucks I coulda got some swag along with the certificate.

Coffey cup, golf tees, and such.
No
N9.
I am. I had been in a church for a little more than a year. I went every service and was doing all I could to be what I thought God wanted me to be. I was already visiting nursing homes and hospitals, just talking with folks and being nice to them in a bad time, not preachy, as in repent before you burn stuff. I had been invited to go with a pastor in my hometown to the local jail. We basically just read some scriptures with the guys who wanted to listen and let them ask questions about anything they wanted. Just talking with them mostly and trying to help in any way.

Then the associate pastor at my church in another town, stopped being able to do jail ministry. They knew I had been visiting in my hometown jail, so they asked me if I wanted to minister at the larger town's jail. At this larger jail, you had to be licensed to get in to minister. At my hometown jail, we had just spoken to everyone from the hall with them behind bars. At the big town jail, they put you in the big room with maybe 100 prisoners. My church licensed me, and I did that jail ministry along with nursing home visits for many years.

I've preached in several churches many times, but I've never been a pastor. I've put on a free hometown show with live music and me preaching before, in a parking lot behind McDonalds. We set up on a flatbed trailer for a stage. I've baptized folks, prayed with them for healing and to be saved. I've seen all kinds of really weird stuff and some of it unexplainable by anything except God. I've seen the best and the worst the ministry has to offer, and people at their best and worst. I've been given money and things many times, but I've never tried to get or take anything from anyone. I've always tried to be a giver and not a taker.

I don't even know if my ministry license is valid anymore. My paperwork was supposed to have been sent to the state so I could perform marriages if I wanted and to satisfy legal requirements for prison ministry. The ministry who licensed me no longer exists. I never put any importance on the license anyway except its legal requirements.
Originally Posted by Tide_Change
I, I am.

Dudeism. Got the certificate and the whole 9 yards.

I can officiate weddings, funerals, and bowling tournaments.

You?


That's just like, your opinion, man...
I know a number of soul brothers who claim to be.
For only 150 bucks more, you coulda be Pope.
I am, of The Universal Life Church, since 1969. My Certificate is signed by Kirby J, Hensley, hisself. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.
Universal Life Church here. I did a wedding for a couple of friends
Originally Posted by RHClark
I am. I had been in a church for a little more than a year. I went every service and was doing all I could to be what I thought God wanted me to be. I was already visiting nursing homes and hospitals, just talking with folks and being nice to them in a bad time, not preachy, as in repent before you burn stuff. I had been invited to go with a pastor in my hometown to the local jail. We basically just read some scriptures with the guys who wanted to listen and let them ask questions about anything they wanted. Just talking with them mostly and trying to help in any way.

Then the associate pastor at my church in another town, stopped being able to do jail ministry. They knew I had been visiting in my hometown jail, so they asked me if I wanted to minister at the larger town's jail. At this larger jail, you had to be licensed to get in to minister. At my hometown jail, we had just spoken to everyone from the hall with them behind bars. At the big town jail, they put you in the big room with maybe 100 prisoners. My church licensed me, and I did that jail ministry along with nursing home visits for many years.

I've preached in several churches many times, but I've never been a pastor. I've put on a free hometown show with live music and me preaching before, in a parking lot behind McDonalds. We set up on a flatbed trailer for a stage. I've baptized folks, prayed with them for healing and to be saved. I've seen all kinds of really weird stuff and some of it unexplainable by anything except God. I've seen the best and the worst the ministry has to offer, and people at their best and worst. I've been given money and things many times, but I've never tried to get or take anything from anyone. I've always tried to be a giver and not a taker.

I don't even know if my ministry license is valid anymore. My paperwork was supposed to have been sent to the state so I could perform marriages if I wanted and to satisfy legal requirements for prison ministry. The ministry who licensed me no longer exists. I never put any importance on the license anyway except its legal requirements.

You can be a smartass and quite hyper defensive on here. With estrogen-like tendencies.

No what I expected from someone who claims your credentials.
Originally Posted by Tide_Change
Originally Posted by MadMooner
Universal something or other. For $7.99 or whatever it was, they sent me a little certificate as an ordained minister. Minister of what? I’ve no idea.

So I got that going for me.

You got ripped. Mine was free, but for about 25 bucks I coulda got some swag along with the certificate.

Coffey cup, golf tees, and such.
Tide Change,
You should have went all in $40- coughee cup, golf tees, --->> blue vest, picture of yourself on a badge.

Dayum! I coulda had a badge?
Yep
Someone on the local Faceplant posted wondering if there was anyone in town who was ordained and could officiate at a wedding. After reading the responses, I came to the realization that The Wife and I are probably the only people in town who are not ordained. (Most probably out of a car wash in Bakersfield.)
Originally Posted by Tide_Change
Originally Posted by MadMooner
Universal something or other. For $7.99 or whatever it was, they sent me a little certificate as an ordained minister. Minister of what? I’ve no idea.

So I got that going for me.

You got ripped. Mine was free, but for about 25 bucks I coulda got some swag along with the certificate.

Coffey cup, golf tees, and such.

Leave it up to a church to rip me off…
Our consecrated post count king claims to be a Deacon if that counts ?
Originally Posted by gunswizard
Our consecrated post count king claims to be a Deacon if that counts ?

He ain’t been here for months.

Put some salve on it.
Half the local people I met in Tennessee always manage to slip it into the conversation that they are a "part time" minister.
Wabi is "The United Church of the Inane" preaches stupid chit on the fire 2-4 Times a day.
I’m more of a lay minister. I don’t actually charge for, nor perform any services, ordained mostly for the right to run clergy plates on the Grand Marquis.
No but I screwed a ministers daughter more then once , then another's wife ( didn't know that till after the fact) none at the Holiday Inn though ..
Originally Posted by ldholton
No but I screwed a ministers daughter more then once , then another's wife ( didn't know that till after the fact) none at the Holiday Inn though ..

Oh yeah, those preacher’s daughters were 🤙 !!

Originally Posted by ldholton
No but I screwed a ministers daughter more then once , then another's wife ( didn't know that till after the fact) none at the Holiday Inn though ..
😉
I am the minister of defense at my residence.

Or maybe administer.
Absent for months or not there's still multitudes here who venerate him and pine for his return.
Originally Posted by jackmountain
I’m more of a lay minister. I don’t actually charge for, nor perform any services, ordained mostly for the right to run clergy plates on the Grand Marquis.

That's one fine automobile, brother.
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