Difference between balls and guts

To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words: There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all Heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know The difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS - is arriving home late, after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask, 'are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, Smelling of perfume and beer, with lipstick on your collar, and slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say, 'You're next, Chubby!'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome.

Both result in instant death.

+100

Too funny!!

I have neither guts nor balls, I'd never be brave, drunk or stupid enough to do either of those.

I thought that was the difference between beer and scotch?

That right there is funny.

Originally Posted by maarty

Too funny!!

I have neither guts nor balls, I'd never be brave, drunk or stupid enough to do either of those.

From what I've heard from your gal Maarty, I'm surprised that hasn't happened to you!

She would know you had a death wish if you did that (and she'd likely oblige you).

Alan

PS. I don't have guts or balls enough to do that either.

dat rat dere IS funny ! Tanks!

That would be the definition of suicidal at the Tide residence.

Good post though!

Death Wish I & II at the T LEE abode and I do not have a death wish, trust me. Not when I am married to a half Scot half Irish lass!!!

Tis a good funny though KG.

I dont have enough or either, to try...either.

Sort of like the difference between being secure and confident in masculinity.

Being secure: Coming home, finding your wife in bed with another man and saying "Pardon me, please continue."

Being confident: He can continue.

Just from the title I thought this was going to be more about food that makes you gag. Something on the order of Haggis vs. Rocky Mt. Oysters or some such.

Not even married yet, but I know that I don't have enough of either...

Originally Posted by kamo_gari

To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words: There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all Heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know The difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS - is arriving home late, after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask, 'are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, Smelling of perfume and beer, with lipstick on your collar, and slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say, 'You're next, Chubby!'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome.

Both result in instant death.

Nice, nice!
If I ever get married, I will remember your post, Leighton.
Well, as long as my life insurance is paid up, that is.

Either way, I'd bet they're coming off!

IF I had the requisite guts, "The Warden" would see that I lost my balls (country girls can do that)!
Mark

Tell the bitch scrambled and don't burn the toast.

Originally Posted by slumlord

Tell the bitch scrambled and don't burn the toast.

"I'm tired of eating those sloppy, slimy eggs!"

Originally Posted by kamo_gari

To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words: There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all Heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know The difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS - is arriving home late, after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask, 'are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, Smelling of perfume and beer, with lipstick on your collar, and slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say, 'You're next, Chubby!'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome.

Both result in instant death.

That's some funny chit, thanks for the chuckle L!!!

LMAO

Guts??? I can almost see myself there. (I still don't know why she calls me a smart ass sometimes.

) Lotsa bad, if funny, ju-ju there!

Originally Posted by Klikitarik

Guts??? I can almost see myself there. (I still don't know why she calls me a smart ass sometimes.

) Lotsa bad, if funny, ju-ju there!

Totally off the subject, Klik-but I love your sig line.

Originally Posted by Seminole39

Originally Posted by slumlord

Tell the bitch scrambled and don't burn the toast.

"I'm tired of eating those sloppy, slimy eggs!"

A lil' Jesco White for you guys.

Originally Posted by T LEE

Death Wish I & II at the T LEE abode and I do not have a death wish, trust me. Not when I am married to a half Scot half Irish lass!!!

Tis a good funny though KG.

Is half Scot and half Irish worse than half Irish and Half Scot?

Inguireing minds want to know.

Six of one a half dozen of the other, now my son in law has BIG trouble, equal parts if Irish, Scot, Sicilian and German in my daughter!

Lmao