A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE, THAT READ:
We will heel you. We will save your sole. We will even dye for you.

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels.";


On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place.";

On a Plumber's truck :
"We repair what your husband fixed.";

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.";

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout.";

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts.";

In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.";

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push.";

At a Car Dealership;
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.";

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.";

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!";

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted”.

"In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.";

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.";

At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank Heaven for little grills.";

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak.";

And DEFINITELY the best one for last.;
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

Local muffler shop in town sez, "Our business is exhausting"..

Tire company here in town: If It's In Stock We Have It

Car dealership's TV ad: "Too busy to make it in for our sale? Send in your wife, and we'll dicker!"

Those are all good!

Beauty shop:

If your hair isn't becoming to you, you should be coming to us.

street sign leading into local cemetery "Dead End"

That was the Style-Right Shoe Company of Storm Lake, Iowa's motto, (shoes, instead of hair) as iterated by its ace salesman, Walter O'Reilly.

At a nearby fuel and convenience mart with a grill in back:

"Eat at xxxx xxxxx's and get gas".

Outlaw motorcycle club bike shop- " We cheat the other guy so we can pass the savings on to you."

Septic pumper truck-

A royal flush beats a full house every time.

Kingman Kansas once had a mechanic shop called "Beatem and Cheatum".

... Pumping and thawing ...have hose will travel!

Septic Company called

Honey Dipper
You dump it, we pump it

I'll take your word for that John. I just remember reading it in Reader's Digest or some such.

Never had the nerve to do it but my friend and I thought about making up bumper stickers for the porta potty service trucks that came to our job sites. We were going to slap this on the back of the tank when he was busy working:

Your s--t is our bread and butter.

Geno

I remember seeing a truck in England years ago. It was hauling manure and the sign on the door was 'Abner Smith, Muckshifter'.

Septic pumping truck in my area

Caution filled with "Political Promise"

Dean

Sign on Septic pumping truck here in town:

#1 in the #2 Business!

Sign at my ex-wife's house "Town Pump"

Seen on a septic truck in Idaho years ago- Super Duper Pooper Scooper.
Seen on a sign in front of a hair salon- Free Blow Jobs with Every Cut

Creede, Colorado water treatment plant- State record Brown caught here. Tom