Mine:

"Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent"

Attributed to both Mark Twain and Winston Churchill.

I think of this quotation frequently when signing on to the 'Fire.

I don't hate people. I just feel better when they aren't around.

--Charles Bukowski

"Yehh man, I let my nuts hang"


6ix9ine

"If it were not so, I would have told you," - Jesus

There ain't no freedom without GUNPOWDER!!

If I want your opinion I'll give it to you, and I don't want your opinion.

When our worlds collide, you better hope I'm not at home.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. Will Rogers

Heavens to Murgatroyd!

Similar to yours.

Never argue with an idiot, It brings you down to his level...He then beats you with experience! memtb

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."

-- Calvin Coolidge

There are a lot of people educated way beyond their intelligence .

A former educator friend of mine

Do not talk, shoot!

"I only use my guns when kindness fails."

Nothing worthwhile was ever accomplished without the will to start, the enthusiasm to continue and, regardless of temporary obstacles, the persistence to complete
Waite Phillips

Gave a bunch of land that created Philmont. I show it to my middle schoolers every year to let them know math is hard, get over it.

“What is best in life? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!”

“Being polite is the highest form of hypocrisy.”
Thomas Jefferson

“Il est impossible que l’improbable n’arrive jamais” -Emil Gumbel

"To do is to be" Socrates
'To be is to do" Jean-Paul Sartre
"Oo be doo be doo" Sinatra


There's three kinds of people in this world, those what can count and those what can't.

It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

See the first of my sig lines



mike r

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Vert Der Ferk

Swedish Chef

“Ain’t a whole lotta problems cain’t be fixed with $700 or a 30-06”

What we have here, is a failure to communicate.

If everybody’s thinking the same thing, somebody’s not thinking. G. Patton.

"GFY"

DeFlave

Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

"No good deed goes unpunished" attributed to various people

"Sic semper tyrannus"

"The unexamined life is not worth living", Socrates.

Top three:

"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand." - L. van Pelt

"There is no problem so big or so complicated that it won't go away if ignored long enough." - C. Brown

"“I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.” - R. Heinlein.


Honorable mention:
"Fast, cheap, good - pick two." Anon.

Always been my favorite...

My second is my signature line.

If you're gonna be stupid, you gotta be tough.....

The first that came to my mind...

"Be a good predator. You can be excited later." - Steven Rinella

"That is platinum-level a la cart." - my New Mexico hunting guide. I don't like to hear it, but I do think it is funny.

"You gotta live like you're on vacation." Paul Stanley of KISS

If you have something to say, shut up. Otherwise be quiet.

Also

Stupid oughta hurt.

“God alone decides the contest, but we must put our shoulder to the wheel.”
Admiral Farragut

The quote would depend on the occasion.

#1) "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

#2) "We don't rent pigs"

It's in my Sig. From a bunch of old white guys

Fuuck em if they can’t take a joke!

^^^This^^^

I’ll add one of GranDad’s : “I’d Rather Bleed Than Sweat”

If you have a problem with everyone, everyone is probably not the problem.

Far better to die on your feet
Than to live on your knees.

I think it's from Patrick Henry but I'm not certain.
7mm

I hate rude behavior in a man. I won't tolerate it.
Captain Woodrow Call

"Ya cain't fix stupid" : Ron White, although I'm pretty sure he was not the first to say it . . . He just delivered it so well.

Also like Churchill's quote : "Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."

If it's got tits or tires, sooner or later it's gonna give you trouble!

I always wanted to shoot an educated man.

Gus McCrae

Ain't nothing better than riding a fine horse in New country.

Gus McCrae

"If you don't like it you can kiss my ass." My Aunt Katherine - her conversation-ending reply of general application.

If it stinks, don’t stir it.

-Me

Do what you can,with what you got, where you are at. I believe ?Teddy Roosevelt

Success Is Getting What You Want, Happiness Is Wanting What You Get

Live your life in a manner that you don't have to hide your diary.

"I'm just going outside and might be some time."

Lawrence Oates whose varies maladies had caused him to become a burden to his comrades during Shackleton's attempt to make it back from the South Pole. He exited the tent sacrificing himself and subsequently no signs of him were ever found. Often viewed as one of Britain's greatest heroes. To me, one of the strongest lines ever uttered.

"Panties are not the best thing in the world, but they are the closest to it"

Stress is little more than what we used to call challenge. Now get back to work.

My two favorites...….

The only Government I trust is my 45-70 Government.
There are few problems in life that cannot be rectified with a suitable amount of high explosives!

Deep hole and 50lbs of lime solves lots of problems.

The more I'm around people, the more I love dogs. Author unknown, to me anyway.

If only bad things happen to you, look at the bright side!

Only one will be the worst.

"Better to learn from the mistakes of others as you won't live long enough to make them all yourself." ..... sign in my Dad's workshop.

"I've got ideas I haven't even thought of yet." ........ source unknown

My favorite is the same as Brassman.

It is better to remain silent and thought a fool, then to speak up and remove all doubt.

This is high on my list as well.

Along with,

You are not your circumstances.

Absolutely. Then, one needed be used all to frequently these days:

"Even a fool seems wise if he doesn't speak."

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths.

Better to keep your mouth shut and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Measure twice, cut once.

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
Will Rogers

Don't take any wooden nickels.

Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't ...
Dr Seuss

"Into each life a little rain must fall."
SGT Stryker

"Life's cruel."
Dad

"I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability."

Oscar Wilde

A man has got to know his limitations, Lt. Harry Callahan.

Leave me alone, me.

Don’t poke the bear.

'...I'd like to agree with you, but then we would both be wrong...'


This, from a guy I worked with, who said he had the meanest grandmother ever, and she would say this........ he was black!

'...BOY! you better mind me, or I'll swallow you whole and shi t you sideways...'

I've forgotten more than I'll ever learn.

If if's and buts was candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas.

"And how do you know that to be true"--Finn Aggarrd.
Try that one with a libtard. They'll blink a few times.

"If you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right." Henry Ford

You’ll run out of health long before you’ll run out of money.

LOL, reminds me of: I've been everything you want to be.

"I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception!"

Julius Marx

If you’re going to shoot, shoot. Don’t talk
Tuco

This will be true all your life.

“It feels good to shoot a bad guy..... something you Democrats will never understand.”

~ Denny Crane

Two men looked through prison bars,one saw mud the other stars.

What did you feel when you killed the enemy? Recoil.

Why did you shoot him six times? I ran out of bullets.

The tree of liberty must be refreshed at times with tbe blood of patriots and tyrants.

Give me liberty or give me death.

I will build the wall.

MAGA

God Bless America

Ok, the best: JOHN:3:16

Another from Henry Ford: "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal."

From Rheged, near Penrith, Cumbria, England: "Do not journey with the hope that all remains the same."

Calvin: If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet They'd live a lot differently.
Hobbes: How so?
Calvin: Well, when you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.
Hobbes: We spent our day looking under rocks in the creek.
Calvin: I mean other people.

Torque is tight,too tight is broke.

"A dog will not bite the hand that feeds. This is the principle difference between man and dog."

A man feeds the dog that bites him, in a sense.

Did I miss, "Get off my lawn!"

Maybe I took 2 liking mules.


U gotta problem with that?

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

T. Roosevelt 1910



If you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

T. Roosevelt to Lt. Douglas MacArthur 1906

If you find yourself in a fair fight, your strategy sucks.

Never trust a skinny cook.

The TR quote above, now commonly referred to as "The Critic", is from a speech he gave in the Sorbonne in 1910. It has long been one of my favorites. Roosevelt didn't say the second. I also like, “If you run into an [bleep] in the morning, you ran into an [bleep]. If you run into [bleep] all day, you're the [bleep].” Raylan Givens.

I also like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWW6aDpUvbQ

As a kid I was hell with wrenches. I could always get "just a little more pull". Consequently, I stripped damn near every threaded shank on which I turned a nut.

My Dad told me:

Tight is tight. Once more than tight is broke.

"Feed'em and F...'em"

My dad, when I turned 17.

“The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own. Naturally, it may be used by evil men for evil purposes, but there are more good men than evil, and while the latter cannot be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles.” -Jeff Cooper

“Your mental malfunction must be from your mom poking you in the head with a coat hanger”

~Beaver10 😎

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have three that come to mind as favorites....

1. "We are ALL ignorant......only in different subjects!" Will Rogers

2. "If you find yourself in a Fair Fight......Your tactics suck!" Col Jeff Cooper

3. "Don't go poking the Bear, if all you've got is a stick!" Unknown

The foundation for old age is good memories.

"Better to burn out; than fade away" The Propher Def Leppard

The Rule of the 3 F's: "If it floats, flys or f...s ; rent it"

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, con a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

Robert A. Heinlein, Notebooks of Lazusarus Long

I dunno. Let me think it over.

"You have no idea how little I care" Tom Selleck as Police Chief Jesse Stone.

my favorite E=1/2 MVV

" As our language becomes impoverished our thinking shrinks to fit" Jeanette Winterston

A coonass friend of mine from Thibodaux, LA always said "Mudda Sticka"

Only those in the "know" knew what he meant...

Somebody sent this to my INBOX today

http://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-85-the-45-most-badass-lines-ever-uttered-in-real-life/

"The Will to Win means nothing without the Will to Prepare"

It will all work out. My wife when we were broke.

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. Mark Twain

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. Mark Twain

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. Mark Twain

"Genius is one per cent inspiration and ninety-nine per cent perspiration. Thomas Edison

(hungover)

"I feel like I've been ate by a bear, then pooped over a cliff"

Virgil B.

Similar idea:

"Failing to prepare is preparing to fail." John Wooden

"You owe what you owe". John Stockton

"keep it greasy so it go down easy"-Frank Zappa, Joe's Garage

"If all else fails, read the directions" - My Father

"When you get to the fork in the road, take it" - Yogi Berra

"Forgiveness is between them and God....it's my job to arrange the meeting" Denzel Washington from Man on Fire

"You can't fix stupid"

TALLY HO!
IN THE MASHED POTATOES WE GO!

"The definition of insanity is to do something the same way and expect a different outcome" - Albert Einstein I think.

"Everyone should live within their means...even if they have to borrow to do it." -- my friend Bernie Fried

“Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded — here and there, now and then — are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty.

This is known as "bad luck.”
― Robert Heinlein

Let's roll!

No quotation is worth a damn - including this one.

That's as good as

"The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe"

and

"The price of meat has just gone up and your ol' lady has just gone down"

trplem, you likely know there's a lot more!

Geno

without reading through all six pages (the sun is shining now and i have to get to stuff), has anyone mentoned:

"don't quote me on this".

Geno

We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.

Stephen Hawking

"Beware of small expenses, a small leak will sink a great ship" Ben Franklin

“There is a reason God gave you two ears and only one mouth “

humans are disease upon the face of the Urth....neitsche.

The Bible says "Gird up your loins and walk like a man". We interpretted it to "Put on your big boy pants and get over it"
Also like "Life's hard then you die".

"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.

?? I thought that was from the newer "Monte Walsh".... maybe both?

I heard he was no longer an atheist.
Sad.

My Brother-in-law asked me......"why a .45 Colt?"...….I replied "Because they don't make a .65 Colt!"

When hungover......"I haven't felt this bad since the rats ate my Sister."

"Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades."

”Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all time thing. You don’t win once in a while, you don’t do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing. “ - Vince Lombardi

One that makes me think whenever I see the movie, comes from the Magnificent 7 (at least that is where I first heard it).

"If go did not want them sheared, he wouldn't have made them sheep"

Its a good thing there are a lot of sheep dogs in this country.

A friend from Texas with one eye open and hung over ........feel like I been shot at and missed and chit at and hit.........New Yorker in same condition..........first 1/2 hour this morning I thought I was gonna die.......now I’m scared I won’t. .......

"Somehow, the sound of a shotgun tends to cheer one up" -- Robert Ruark

from The Ghost and the Darkness



Charles Remington:
Well, I'm a very considerate man. My mother taught me that.

Now, what the hell you laughing about? You don't think I'm considerate?

Samuel:
I don't believe you had a mother.

I've always liked that one Mag.

“You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.”
Orson Welles as Harry Lime in "The Third Man"

Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods. Bernard Levin

I heard one . . .

'That which kills you makes me stronger"

. . . or something like that.

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Yogi Berra

Those who chose their friends by their wealth and social statue usually deserve them. UNK

Never think with your emotions - Nord Davis jr.

Don't piss down my back and tell me its raining - Fletcher in Jose Wales.

Are you going anywhere with this or are you just running laps. - H.A. Covington

Why is it experience is something you get right after you need it

Lots of good quotes

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

Used that many times in my office.

Also:

Good decisions come from experience. And experience? Well, that comes from bad decisions..

My dad on making-money
If it was easy everyone would be doing it.

Best way to double your is money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. Hasbeen

I’d have a lot more money if I would leave the Sakos and Kleinguenther’s alone. And Savage 99’s now

That’s why men have nipples, just in case...

There is no such thing as fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool!

Push the button Max!

You simple headed gerken!

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

I still get a chuckle every time I think of that line from Bohemian Rhapsody, when the reporter asks Freddie Mercury why he has never bothered to get his teeth fixed, and Freddie says:

"I live in England and I don't want to stick out"

Years ago, I was working at the frozen cheeseburger factory in the IT department. In order to enhance the login screen for the network, I added a "quote of the day" at the bottom. One day a particular quote came up and my boss threw a fit and made me get rid of the quotes. Later that day, one of the owners called me up and asked me where the quotes had gone. I told him. He called me up to his office.

The quote that had set things off was a quote on the futility of Democracy. I wish I could find it. It was a brilliant quote that very quickly exposed Democracy as a fool's errand. In a couple of sentences, it reduced Democratic ideals to ashes in a way that was easy to see and affirm. You could not help but be taken away by it-- until you saw who was being quoted, Adolf Hitler.

GOTCHA. I wish I could find the quote again. It's not out on the web, at least not that I could find. If I remember correctly Hitler said it in a speech celebrating the burning of the Reichstag. It was pure genius-- evil genius, but genius nonetheless.

I had to go up to the owner's office. We were on good terms. He'd actually been the guy to interview and hire me. I thought I was going to get the sack. I was already to apologize for the transgression. It was a service. I had no idea they were going to throw in a quote from Hitler. The owners were Jewish. My goose was cooked.

Mister D. welcomed me into the office, and had me sit down.

What had happened to the quote of the day? I told him.

Who made the decision? It was my boss, but I'd complied immediately.

Why? I gave as good an explanation as I could.


Put it back. (huh?)

Put it back. Yes sir!

Mister D. had loved the Hitler quote. Even he'd been taken in by it. He'd written it down in his diary. He said it reminded him of how easy it is to get sucked in. He was going to tell his friends at temple about it. I knew one of his friends was one of my old bosses from the mutual fund company. He'd helped me get the job. All these prominant Jewish businesmen were going to be talking about me and the dang Hitler quote. Mister D. and I remained friends and he gave me good references for the next 20 years. The quote of the day went back up for a while. I was told to find another less controversial login screen after the D. brothers retired.

So here I am with no quote and only a story about the quote. I looked for it before making this submission. This is a variation on the quote that I dug up:




It's far too wordy and less to the point. It comes from earlier in Hitler's career. By the time he got it right in 1933, it had been distilled into one easily-digested pill of evil wisdom. Hitler was probably right. Democracy does kind of suck. Churchill, at least in a way, agreed with him when he said:

It would be good if we could get rid of the Dumass Dumbocrats

"HELL AIN'T HALF-FUL YET!"

Me

Ambition is a dream with a V8 engine....