Or pretended. Guy is 61 years old and a severe alcoholic for life. His wife divorced him when is daughter was small. My wife reconnected them after her mother died and now the BIL expects flowers and sunshine between them. Daughter now knows that much of what mom said was true.

In ICU 3 times in the last year and a half getting dried out, once with a hole in his stomach. He gets out and is drunk that evening. His brothers want nothing to do with him, his sisters (including my wife) communicate with him and help him. Every day, several times a day, my wife is on the phone with him getting stirred up. Like she doesn't have enough issues of her own.

So what does this pain in the ass do? Yeah, he swallows a bunch of pills and drinks half a bottle of vodka, then calls himself an ambulance. I see inmates doing that pretty often, trying to get attention on themselves. But more than that, that is how a bitch kills herself. Men hang or shoot themselves or jump. So he's being a little bitch.

The wife wants to go see him, I washed my hands of him some time ago. If she goes she goes on her own, no help from me.

People make their own bed and choose their own path.

I would be 100% indifferent like you.
And not feel the least bad about it or care what others have to say about your veiw.

Dude chose his path knowingly.
He can lay in the bed he made for himself.

I'm geussing we as taxpayers have picked up the tab for his antics most of his life anyways.

We can all save a couple of tenths of a percent of a penny now maybe on our taxes if he kicks the bucket.


I wouldnt feel one ounce of sympathy just like you.
And anyone trying to tell me I shouldnt feel that way .
I would say name one good thing he ever did for anyone and go pound sand.

If hes been an A hole his whole life he needs to just leave.
Hopefully then your wife can quit wasting her time/ energy on him.

When he does finally die....hope she deals with it and you guys can live drama free.

Darn.

Maybe next time he'll be so wasted he can't dial 911.

My wife is suppose to deal with his final affairs. That's right, he asked your mentally ill sister to take care of his affairs. He says he has his funeral paid for. Well, that better be so otherwise the county can have his carcass.

He does this with my wife because he knows she is easily manipulated. He holds back a bit, just enough, because he knows I will beat his azz.

It happens...... And some people seem to want that life. A guy from the neighborhood I grew up in chose that life. He'd be about 65 now. Saw one of his brothers a few years ago and he hadn't seen him in a couple years. Last he knew was he heard he was living under a bridge someplace and had lost part of a foot to frostbite. Also had a great uncle I never knew existed until I was in my 30's. . He became one of those homeless winos and passed out in an alley one night and never woke up; age 58. Family hadn't seen him in years and gave up on him. He was one of my maternal grandmothers brothers. There's a lot of help available for alcoholics but some of them just don't want it. It's sad but I guess that's part of reality.

Loan him a pistol.

A cheap one.

Lost an aunt and an uncle this way. Nothing can be done unless they do it, short of locking one up. Sounds like he can't last much longer.

I wouldn't interfere between brother and sister. Blood is pretty thick and you want to support her; she's likely to be grieving soon.

Terrible waste, every time.

and tell him to go out into the woods, make all the mess you want out there

People also enable alot of this stuff also.
Like they think they are helping someone or worse hiding it out of denial or embarassment.
Enablers are just as much to blame in alot of cases of addictions.

Never really cared for enablers much also.

Folks like him don’t really won’t to commit suicide.
The folks that do, do it right.

My brother in law attempted it several times, he finally got it done. He hurt a lot of people.

If he took pills and drank alcohol to commit suicide but immediately called 911 for help, he is not trying
to commit suicide. He is looking for attention.

Jeeze.....didnt know there were manly and unmanly ways of killings ones self.

That sounds like a real sucky thing to be going through. Hang in there.

It's nearly impossible to help someone who refuses help.

Kinda hard to fail at suicide....don’t ya think??

PREZACTLY

Men normally use more violent and more sure means. Shooting, hanging, cutting in vital spots. A man will cut lengthwise up his radial artery, or his neck. Men tend to be more active and aggressive in their approach.

But men play for attention too.

inmates get pills and vodka all the time?

Sorry about the situation all around.

What about jumping off the silo? is that manly?

I was thinking of running a trotline hook through my hand and jumping out of the boat. You know, make it look like an accident, spare the loved ones, double indemnity and all that.

Only if the silo is over 78' high. Anything lower and you're a double loser!

Had two brothers who died by their own hands. Both their “manly” methods involved 30 cal Core-Lokts. It’s still a chickenshit thing to do, and I haven’t forgiven either one of them.

So if you suddenly stop posting we can assume it worked?

Used to work with a fella that was like that. Couldn’t stop drinking. 7 DUI’s.

Didn’t show up one day. He had got hammered and ate a whole bottle of pain killers. Dead in the schitter.

Not the Vodka, not even any deadly pills. An inmate will take a bunch of blood pressure meds and then come to the officer. Some OD on Acetaminophen, which is serious as it wrecks the liver if not promptly treated. Ibuprofen overdose is something that happens too. The thing is the attention seekers go to the officer as soon as they do it. Sometimes it is attention seeking, other times they do it so they get put on suicide watch and avoid another inmate they owe.

Mental illness obviously runs in your wife’s side of the family, mix mental illness with alcohol and it’s a recipe for disaster. Your wife is lucky enough to have you to love and care for her as she battles mental illness. Unfortunately your BIL isn’t that lucky and probably feels all alone in his battles, that’s why he calls so much. Sometimes, even though it’s tough, it’s better to reach deep down inside ourselves and find the patience and compassion to be help someone that’s suffering and to be their lifeline to the world outside. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this but I think we get tested in our lives and that’s when we reveal how close we are to doing God’s will....in real life. We don’t do that through our attendance every Sunday, we do it for those that need help and some of us do it to soothe our own souls. Good luck and I hope and pray that your BIL gets some help and finds some peace.

I get that. But if anything it's tough love time. Like me telling him to get help or leave Diana alone. My first obligation is to my wife.

A wasted life is always a tragedy, I’d wish him luck with his demons, but most likely he has already lost the battle.

Had a work buddy who they found in his truck with a half bottle of Jack, an empty bottle of pills, and a hose from the tailpipe.
Is that manly or bitchy?
He had an Uncle who was a farmer in South Dakota who probably had a silo he could use. I guess he didn't want to drive that far.
He was a nice guy, it sucked.

Sir, I wasn’t suggesting you do anything to compromise your dedication to your wife. It’s your wife’s family and to deny her a relationship with a brother that shares her struggles with mental illness might not be good for anyone, not her, not you and not her brother. Only you can decide how to proceed but don’t proceed with anger in your heart, that would be my only advice. Good luck. 👍

Talk about being dealt a tough hand. Sorry to hear.

I.agree with you.

This thread makes me wonder . How many of the tough talking crowd has found s loved one, friend or family with half a or no head??

You are making a very big mistake, Would you easily give up on him if he was your brother or son ???
That man is going through a lot of pain and needs help and encouragement, he could make it to the sunny side, work hard and be an inspiration for other people.
So many of use dealing with demons, so many of us just got good and ignoring the demons we all battle with. He isn't happy about his situation too.

Losing someone by suicide is a life long thing you'll never forget...

I had a brother who, right after his 16th birthday had evidently been sodomized by some type of transient
or whatever... we never found out exactly who...

I found him on his knees at 3:45 AM, in the basement of where we lived...he hung himself from a pipe above
but you could reach up and touch it...so he got on his knees and leaned forward until it was choking him..

he tried to get up but fell and the deed was done...

when I found him, he had been dead for 3 hours...so it happened at about 1 AM...

both he and I had paper routes with the Washington post, delivering 400 papers or more each morning.

My dad was away on duty.... I went upstairs and told my mom who had been up all night worrying as he had never come home after being out....went in the kitchen, got a butcher knife, cut him down and slowly lowered him to the ground..

went up stairs, mom was in here room crying and I called Fairfax County Police...

I felt no emotion.... all my actions were just mechanical...it took several weeks to realize what had happened...

but it sure was and is imprinted permanently in my mind tho...

March 26, 1970.....

Answer, right here.

He wants to be coddled. And your wife is giving him that. The only thing stopping him from getting more, is you. So, you are already in the middle, whether you want to be or not.

You said it yourself. The only thing preventing him from sucking more out of your wife's Lifeblood Is You.

You need to do what I call "turn it around". Find a way to make it his idea to leave your wife alone.

Alcohol is poison to some people's brains. Most can handle it, some go crazy from depression and addiction to it.

Don't know any answers, a start would be treatment just to get him dried out for 30 days and go from there...or maybe he's just too far gone. Time will tell.

Sure!
Here lies sawbuck
Pointing out the absurd
Dead as Big Squeeze

Really too bad his phone worked....

What's with the 1/2 bottle?

He probably already slammed the first half. Two bottles a a day is not uncommon for him. That and maybe a rock of crack.

Not faulting you or your actions or feelings, but I’m about 180 on the spectrum.

Married my wife for better or worse, she’s seen to it by her thoughts, actions and deeds that my life has been waaayy better due to her taking those vows serious as well.

I know I’m one of the lucky ones when it comes to marriage.

Her brother is smart, decent and a helluva good looking guy. But he’s an alcoholic, like 3:dwi never drive again alcoholic.

It’s a crying shame. Her mom is an alcoholic too, but her binges are few and farther between. Still she has them.

When my wife was battling cancer at the same time her little sister was, her mom was staying at our house to help out w our teenage son still in high school.

We were in ANC post op when I got the call from my daughter, could tell something was wrong but had to pry it out of her a bit.

Grandma had gotten drunk and burned up exhaust fan in downstairs bathroom smoking

I swear I was so angry I’d have probably drug her by the hair down our 1/10 mile driveway had I been at home.

But then I’ve never had 2 of my kids battling cancer at the same time. Who knows ? Maybe it’d make me an alcoholic too.

But it’s her mom and her brother, we talk about it, but at the end of the day, I back my wife 100%, on how she wants to deal w her family.

My wife is neither stupid or weak, but she’s kind and I can hardly begrudge her forgiveness for her family when I’ve been the greatest beneficiary of her capacity to forgive.

Of course it helps that I’ve got a sis with her own issues and she lives in the apt above our garage. She can be one of the hardest people to get along w that you’ve ever met 🤦🏼‍♂️🙄. But she’s still my sis and I love her.

Imagine my wife feels similar about her own family.

I think it’s a lil archaic to differentiate between methods to take ones life 🤷🏻‍♂️

But not as silly as loading up on pills and then calling 911 🤦🏼‍♂️

If you’re gonna kill yourself then do it, don’t half ass it via any method.

Not calling you out at all Armednfree, it’s your life and is apt to be different than any of the rest of our lives.

But I would ask you to reconsider, “she’s on her own w this” If you value your wife and your marriage and the vows you made to her, doesn’t mean you have to go visit him and play nice w him, but please make sure your wife knows you’ve always got her back for better or worse.

That’s my take on this ugly situation. And I truly wish you and her all the best as you navigate this mine field

Geez, brother. Crack, too.

Two bottles a day...how big of a bottle?

Just curious.

I don't think anyone could have put it in words any better.

Me either. All high school seniors should have to spend four weeks with a 24HCF handle (and make a post per day) and get some real learning.

Not been around much 'death' by most folks standards[lives] beyond a couple of friends/classmates that took their own and my grandparents, but married into a family that has had way more than their share of untimely deaths.
Wifes grandfather accidentally shot himself while deer hunting-early 50's, brother died at the hand of a drunk driver at 18, 4 day old niece and relatively young grandmother died on the same day, sister had lung cancer-diagnosed at 50 years old and died one year after their father which died of a massive heart attack while burning leave time after announcing his retirement.

She has changed my views on whether or not all life is precious.

They usually do a pretty good job of committing suicide by failing to yield on the highways.

Damn, that sounds eerily like my wifes family. She lost one of her brothers (1 of 4) in a car crash when she was 13, lost her dad to cancer shortly after we started dating in 2003, lost brother #2 to cancer a few years later, her only sister died a few years after that from cancer as well. Her twin brother, which I consider his death to be a suicide, lost his job but was offered a job with the same company in another town but he didn't want to move so he decided to take the summer off. He was feeling sorry for himself so he started drinking heavily, a 30 pack of BL a day and it eventually killed him, his brother found him on a Saturday morning sprawled out on the floor, blood everywhere, dead. That was probably the toughest phone call my wife has ever taken and it broke my heart to watch her have to deal with another uneccessary death. Then in May of 2018 her last brother died of heart failure while in the hospital for another ailment so we brough her mom up to Alaska to live with us, we lost her on June 3rd of this year. The amount of grief my wife has been through, I wouldn't wish on any human.

This morning my wife speaks to the doctor. Her brother is on 72hr hold that ends tomorrow. My wife explained his history and asked for him to be "pink slipped", they said no, it can be handled as outpatient voluntary.

And he gets sent down that road again, and we somehow expect different results. This is why nutjobs walk among us.

Look on the bright side, she doesn't have to worry about anyone else dying. Well, just for curiosity, how are you feeling?

Is that some sort of joke, because if it is, i'm missing it.

Damn, kicking the can down the road, sounds like they don't want to get involved, that sucks for the both of you. I'm hope something gets figured out for the sake of you both.

Sounds like he's been attempting a "slow suicide" for years.

My wife says he suffered some serious trauma years ago. She won't tell me what it is but it is sexual. That, especially to someone who already has Bi Polar tendencies is devastating. I have a feeling it happened when he was in the Navy. I saw those things, "Greasings" and other sexual based hazing. Commands covered it up, and made it worse. The crew members who did that should be lined up on the deck and dropped into the open sea to die slowly. Bring back the gang plank.

He would have been in a bit before me. At the time, post vietnam, the navy was a drug infested mess, drugs and alcohol.

Stand by your wife, be her rock.You can do this, be a strong man, not a stubborn man.

He called the VA suicide hotline. Then he was found wandering in a park by a park ranger who called the ambulance.

We went to see him today. He barely knew we were there. He is in ICU and is restrained. He has an aid in his room 24/7. When he wakes up he becomes violent.

The nurse says he is "White slipped" right now which I think means he's not able to make his own medical decisions. Since he has no medical power of attorney I guess the hospital makes those decisions. The nurse says as soon as he is off the white slip he will be "Pink Slipped" to psych. Longer term committal is possible.

I guess two days of his conduct changed their mind.


We went out to the park and found his car. I drove it to his apartment. I got dizzy in that car from the smell of stale beer and drink spillage and tons of cigarette butts and ashes. When I got to his apartment I went in and disposed of a gallon of vodka and a small bit in a third bottle. I brought them, including two empty half gallon bottles and 1-1/2/ 24 packs of beer home with me. I disposed of them right in the trash.

I guess he's drinking healthy because I pulled two spiked bottles of Gatorade out of his refrigerator and disposed of them.

Maybe itll be easier on you and your wife now. Be her rock .

Don't dog Bristoe with the gatorade comment like that though. Ha

Here's the thing. If I'm going to be involved in his recovery he won't find the weepy coddling bulchit he gets from my wife and her sister.
There ain't none of that nurturing crap in me.

hazing is oFF limits, but methods of execution used by pirates, mutineers, and other rogue seafarers gets the green light.

I dont blame you.