Time for some light humor. 'The Bogyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris."

Me too!

I heard Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
I also read that Chuck was bit by a cobra filming in India. After 5 days of excruciating pain the cobra finally died...

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he actually pushes the Earth away from him.

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Chuck Norris daughter lost her virginity. Don't worry, Chuck went and got it back.
Probably my favorite...

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris doesn't shave- - - - -he pounds his chin hairs back inside and bites them off!

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a rattlesnake. After 3 days of agonizing pain the rattlesnake died.

Bigfoot is hiding .. because he owes Chuck Norris money.

Chuck Norris was challenged by Superman to a fight, and the loser had to wear his briefs on the outside.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.

Superman has Chuck Norris pajamas,, Chuck beat the sun in a staring contest,,

Chuck will never have a heart attack. Nothing attacks Chuck.

Chuck Norris jerks off with lava......

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.



Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.



There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.



Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came back with his shirt ironed and holding a sandwich.

A little dark humor

Chuck Norris was at Dealy Plaza that fateful day. He deflected the shot with his beard. Kennedy's head exploded from shear amazement.


KC

Chuck Norris has grizzly bear rugs in his bedroom. They’re not dead they’re just afraid to move!

Chuck Norris visited Scotland many years ago...
The Loch Ness monster has been holding its breath ever since..

Sharks have a Chuck Norris week on tv.

G23

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris just called me a few minutes ago. He was shaking in his boots hoping we were still friends. That should be the end to this thread!

Tough guys sleep with a gun under the pillow. Chuck Norris uses a gun for a pillow.

Chuck doesn't mind coal in his stocking at Christmas. He squeezes them into diamonds.

You're not Gunner.

Chuck uses stunt doubles in his movies - for the crying scenes.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle

When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom to the hospital

chuck has muscles in his [bleep]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-D1KVIuvjA

Chuck Norris can see a Black Hole.

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then it exploded.

My personal favorite is that Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

This is really , really sad.

All these people thinking Chuck Norris is something that he is not , some kinda super hero / superman.

Meanwhile , there's Chuck , down on his hands & knees , scrubbing the toilet at Jerry Miculek's house.


Mike

Never heard of her

Impossible. He's working out with his Total Gym. That must be a fake picture.

In 1996, Campanaro sealed a deal with American Telecast Products to produce the first Total Gym infomercial, featuring spokespersons Chuck Norris[3] and Christie Brinkley[4]. Total Gym became one of the longest running fitness infomercial in history.

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.