I make pancakes in a waffle maker

I always look down the barrel when I have a misfire.

I never call before I dig.

And I used to coordinate TnOneCall 811 tickets.

Your so brave you even made a video for everyone...........

Other drivers will see Im not wearing a helmet and be super careful and courteous around me.

I push mow the yard barefoot.........usually while it's raining.

You don’t really need rear brakes. If your wheel cylinders are leaking, take a pair of Kliens and cut the main line at the pumpkin and pinch it over.

There, you’re good to go.

Hey man....free country.

Smoke detector life hack:

Take the batteries out and voila!!!! It stops chirping.

Aggravating thing.

[img]https://slm-assets2.secondlife.com/...0Back%20of%20Wreath%20Pic.jpg?1326085828[/img]

No, no, no! You take the battery out of the one in the kids bedroom and put it in your bedroom detector..............

I cook bacon without a shirt

take the batts of the kids’ room, put them in my direct TV remote

I drank milk last week that was 2 days past the "best by" date.

Not everybody knows what a pair of Kleins are. You never cease to amaze me. I use Kleins for everything from cutting cable to hammering staples.

Another darwin candidate. RIP.

Condoms?




Pfffffft!





At least I’m consistent 😉

I keep a pair of 10” in my door pocket for unruly pandhandlers

Heard where this one guys throws pennies......

Sometimes I hit the "Post Reply" button before hitting the " Preview Reply" button.
Not just here, but in real life as well.

I was moving a factory once and out in the back lot while loading a machine. The facility next door had a crew up on the roof spreading new tar with brooms on 20' aluminum poles. One hit a power line and fried his butt throwing him off the building. Planning ahead works...

Phil

I once had an abraded brake line going to the right front and lost the brakes on my '66 Wagoneer. I disconnected the line and blocked it off with the head of a nail in order to get home. Worked fine as long as you were ready for a serious pull to the left. I parked the Jeep and planned to replace the line as soon as I could get to town for a replacement. My brother borrowed the Jeep (without telling me) and nearly broke his wrist when he hit the brakes. Luckily, he hadn't even gotten to the road yet. GD

Action should pick up soon as the warmer weather comes!!!
And the bums start sprouting outta the wood work again.
LOL!!!

Your average citizen has no idea how much work is done on the electrical system that supplies their power. We did hot work almost every single day.

After rear ending someone at a red light, a guy was asked if he was going too fast or following too close. He said neither, he didn’t have any brakes and was headed to a parts store to get brake parts.

I stand up in tippy canoes.

I sit under trees in lightening storms.

Sometimes even poke the bear.

But I don't mess around with Jim.

Wuss! I cook bacon without a pants on.

I pee into the wind.

I deep fry frozen turkeys naked.

Pikers. I buy ammo and guns. And I dont lie to my wife.

I drank a fifth of Wild Turkey and a 12 pack of White Claw one day last week. Ground the end off my thumb, put a nice slice in the pad of my left middle finger and got a metal sliver in my eye that I got removed the next day.

That doesn't even rank, that's just a fun weekend.

I answer all calls on my cellphone.

Book it!

Posting in the wrong thread.

Good for you for tapering off some.

I am going to testify against Hillary.

I reply to Nigerian emails.

JFC! I knew what was coming but I still jumped a little.

Winner!

Only those over 60 years old truly realize how daring this is.

WINNER!

A man's got to know when to slow down. Hell I even told the wife I'd wear safety glasses. Paint me pink and call me a puzzy.

I changed the channel of our home tv while my wife is watching her soaps using an app on my phone and I'm at work...

I answer truthfully when my wife asks if her dress makes her look fat...

I always light up a nice cigar when measuring powder.

Did that welding an aluminum diamond plate boat dock.

Skin peeled of my chest in sheets the next day.

I’ve swum beyond the blue rope after eating 2 sandwiches.

I install new wall sockets with the power on..

I worked 3 ambulance calls where guys checked the battery fluid level with a cigarette lighter.
It blew up and acid flew into his eyes.

Less than 30 minutes after eating?
was there lightning & thunder too?

He was okay.

They were fluffer nutter sammies. Help him float.

I tore the tag off my mattress.

Keep that on the low down.

I piss on electric fences

I defended a lawsuit one time for a company that made Concrete mixers. Sand had clogged up inthe hopper so the guy thought it was a good idea to jump up and down on it to break it loose. Ended up losing both of his legs

I lick Chinese doorknobs.

I call State Troopers ma'am. Regardless of gender.

I know they say your front brakes do most of the braking.
I disagree.
Have driven my truck with a bad wheel cylinder.
Pretty scary.

Right now, I have at least one caliper not working.
Not too bad, actually.
Do need to get it fixed soon.

I guess you take sex tourism trips to Africa.

If I had a mattress.....


Damn straight them tags are coming right off

I weld in my flip flops and shorts, no shirt. I get a hell of a tan on one side.


I do actually do that if it’s a little thing.

The blaze orange vest saved him.

I choked a cougar once, only because she insisted.

I don't put the toilet seat down

Any of you old guys remember matchbooks ?.......... Back in the day I used to strike matches without closing the cover. Livin' on the edge.

That could get you hurt at my house.

I do it about once a year.

AGREED ITS A winner !

I solved the toilet lid problem I told my wife she never raises it for me so I pissed on the lid once now it’s up every time I got to go.

Same deal here I don't really get it. But for damn well sure is a THING in this house too,

I don't use the paper ass gaskets on the toilet at Walmart...........

True THIS !!!!

My kid works for a power line contractor. Some of the schitt he tells me about doing........and the voltages (hot) that he's doing it at...... !!!!!

God bless them ALL !!!!!

Never did high-line work, but I have worked 277/480 hot. Don't screw up that stuff HURTS!

Say hello to Epstein.

dang. all you guys surviving doing dangerous things without a scratch.

Me, I just mentioned to my wife how she snored all night last night and spent half the morning getting the bones in my arm set.

Working all the old machinery auctions I don't know how many times I'd see some damn fool just come in and remove the conduit nut at the machine pull the conduit out along with all the slack in the wires, and then just cut them off at different lengths and leave it hanging in the air hot as can be. Load out the machine and go without saying a word.

Phil

Bob F.

I run with scissors. Pretty bad ass.