They call it bathroom humor. I guess they're right.
The place I work has one of the most scrofulous men's rooms I've ever had the misfortune to visit. They put down a gazillion coats of paint on the concrete and then let the paint rot so that now there's cracks in the paint and underneath is. . .
To make matters worse, our plant floor has all manner of folks. It's a virtual potpourri of humanity. These folks come with all manner of bathroom habits. Some have not learned what the flush handle is for. Some come out of the stalls and go back to the floor without visiting the communal wash station.
So over the winter they switched to new urinal cakes. Before, they had white ones that lasted forever. A cake would go in and it would stay for a while. It would melt slow enough that you'd get to know the cake.
In January they went cheap and started putting in pink cakes that hardly last a day. I noticed something odd. There were big holes forming in the urinal cakes. I figured that these craters were produced by a single individual in a single visit. I tried to match one, and I could barely make a dent. Some of these craters were 1/4 inch deep.
Then I noticed that some cakes were cut in half. With a big canyon running down them.
I started wondering: what sort of human being can cut a urinal cake in two without touching it? For that matter, who can put a dime-sized crater in one when I can only manage a shallow dimple? Is it aging (I'm 62) or is it ethnicity? Is there some super race out there that can cut through mild steel?
Shaman,,,,,,,,,words fail me...
Yo Shaman maybe you need to tell your boss that for the health and safety of others you need to work remotely so you can go outside and piss in the wind and not look at urinal cakes and their defects.
That’ll make you crack the urinal.
I like the line from Patrick Swayze in "Roadhouse"- - - - -"Please don't eat the big pink mint!"
LOL!
Jerry
There are STDs that reduce the internal diameter of the nozzle...(or so I have heard)
From there the was some guy named venturi, or Bernoulli that explained things...
Key point, don't touch the urinal cakes...
Just keep aiming for the side of the bowl, keeps the spatter down and is cleaner/quieter too.
Yo Shaman maybe you need to tell your boss that for the health and safety of others you need to work remotely so you can go outside and piss in the wind and not look at urinal cakes and their defects.
I think that's the problem right there. I've been working at home for the most part of two weeks. I've been away from it all. I walked in to the men's room this AM, and there were the pink cakes-- some cut diagonally, some with huge craters.
Down at the farm, I got tired of looking at the dead grass outside my bedroom window, so I sunk a chunk of limestone in the middle. Now, when I hit the limestone, it makes a definite noise so I know I'm on target even when its dark. The limestone make a random spray so instead of one big hole in the grass, now I've got dark green grass for 10 feet around. It's the best part of the lawn. It's a freaking work of art.
When I was working the bar scene as a bouncer - by FAR the nastiest bathrooms were ALWAYS the female ones.
Several different bars/clientele.
Heard that from more than one person as well.
Just keep aiming for the side of the bowl, keeps the spatter down and is cleaner/quieter too.
Too much pressure and volume, the vortex caused will get you .
best urinal cakes I ever saw were in a café restroom in Priest Lake ID.
they were molded into the likeness of Jane Fonda with her mouth open. I had 12 cups of coffee that day!
My flow is so slow I have to concentrate on forcing the pee out to have any other thoughts.
This thread has been...illuminating.
My flow is so slow I have to concentrate on forcing the pee out to have any other thoughts.
Mine too, my son sounds like he has a water hose in there.
What kind of frosting do you prefer on your urinal cakes? Buttercream?
Don't eat the big mints!
I knew a guy whose kid ate a chunk out of a urinal cake. He said for three days every time the kid burped you could smell urinal cake.
It's obvious some guys are pissing booze or cocaine or meth or maybe a combination of drugs and meth. Put up a note and make peeing in the urinal a contest. Winner for the fastest time to cut a urinal cake in half. Winner for the biggest donut hole in a urinal cake.
If your hose is short or your pump weak, step up so you don't pizz on your feet.
That's all I got.
I'm sure there is Milwaukee’s Best 15pk somewhere.
Good word Shaman, "scrofulous" and I'd never heard it used in conjunction with a bathroom. First time I'd ever heard it was when our 7th grade teacher used it pertaining to the "literature" that some of us were reading. As to the original observation. It has a lot to do with the bore diameter and higher velocity. Ever watch an 8 year old? They can pee over a 6' high fence. Now contrast that to you standing behind the old guy using the urinal. You'd swear the guy was milking a cow. The pecker pump ain't what it use to be.
Why did you use the word "scrofulous" to describe the restroom? Do you work a lot crossword puzzles?
Other Thoughts at the Urinal
by RR
A benefit of being man
Is the option: sit or stand.
And pee he can, quite happily;
In repose or vertically.
The lesson of an aging man
When at the urinal he stands
Aimed across the room no more
He’s lucky if he hits the floor.
”Damn, the only person I can please with ‘this’ thing is me...!”
At 71, my fire hose doesn't have anywhere near the pressure it used to. At least it still runs on demand.
You know, this extraordinary urinal cake cutting ability could be a team effort.
Why did you use the word "scrofulous" to describe the restroom? Do you work a lot crossword puzzles?
I was thinking in terms of it being filled with filth and corruption.
What compels people to compliment a man from the next urinal over? Keep your eyes on your own junk!
Heard from an impatient guy back in the line at halftime in stadium bathroom:
"If you shake that more than 3 times, you are playing with it"
You know, this extraordinary urinal cake cutting ability could be a team effort.
New Olympics event!.
The last thing you ever want to hear at the urinal -
"Hey man, nice watch..."
Be like dad
not like sis
raise the lid
before you piss.
that's all I got.
No matter how you shake
and how you dance
The last drop always falls in your pants
From my HS football coach:
If you shake it more that twice you're playing with it
The last thing you ever want to hear at the urinal -
"Hey man, nice watch..."
It’s WAY better than “Hey man, nice dick...”
Funny subject, a while back my PC boss told me that a woman can do anything a man can. I laughed, he said you don't believe that? I said show me one who can write her name in the snow with the yellow flow then I might believe that. He shut up real quick after that ,now he don"t talk to me anymore. 31 days and 2.5 hrs to retirement wahoo! F**king A MB
Growing up fishing with my Grandpa,
He had two old fishing buddies who while taking a leak one would say: "Damn water's cold"
to which the other would reply: "And deep!"
Cant remember their names, but I cant forget that banter. I probably heard it a 100 times.
You can piss in London, you can piss in France, but if you don’t piss here you’ll piss you’re pants!
Don't eat the big mints!
I knew a guy whose kid ate a chunk out of a urinal cake. He said for three days every time the kid burped you could smell urinal cake.
There were engraved brass plaques above the urinals in the Enlisted Club at NAS Keflavic, Icleand - Marines, Please Don't Eat The Mints.
At a certain age you get to the point where “no matter how you shake and dance, the last few drops fall in your pants.”
I'm just hoping that everything comes out okay.
Tourist goes into the restroom while in the Caribbean and starts taking a leak. Local dude comes in and sounds like he is draining a firehouse. Tourist can't help but look and sees "WY" tattooed in his junk. Tourist says "Hey, I have my wife's name tattooed on my peter also! Her name is Wendy!". Local responds with "Mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day!'"
Sign above the urinal:
Why ya lookin up here?
The joke is in yer hand.
Toilet mints reminds me of years ago I had a dumb azz clueless boss. I took a toilet mint and taped it to the underside of his desk. Took him weeks to find it. When he did, he came and told us about it. Said it about made him sick each day sitting there smelling it. He thought it was the night shift cleaning crew that did it. Never let him think any different.
