....that can smell.

Some of you know I cannot. Not even a skunk spray in the face would phase me.

So, just headed out to the garage beer/meat fridge. Grabbed a pack of pork butts I planned on smoking on the BGE this weekend.

In hindsight, maybe the cryovav'ed butt packaging puffed out like a mylar balloon should have been a clue. I suppose it crossed my mind as strange, but I only bought it 5 days ago.

Get it inside, separate the 2 butts, rinse off, trim fat, and have them sitting on the cutting board.

My wife walked in, and all hell brook loose.

It seems I grabbed a long lost pack of butts, sell by date 2/1/20. the new, 5 day old pack slipped behind 2 boxes of micro-brews. I had no idea there were 2 packages og butts in there.

My son may have bought them, or moved them out of a freezer while he was here, I dont know... but.... my wife puked. They were apparently fully..... fermented I never had a fuggin clue. They were a bit slimy when I rinsed them off, I will say that.

So, pork is gone, house is airing out, she next to me on the deck still gagging, and I can't get her to smell my finger to see if my hands stink

She's not amused but I am getting some serious milage out of it, lmao.

I've been banned from smoking meat for the weekend, hahahahaha.

Dang Duck, without your wife you would be dead......

Not something I would brag about.......

Happened to me once. We bought some chicken at the grocery store, bagged it with the rest of our groceries, threw the bags in the trunk and took them home.

Took a pack of chicken out of a bag and it was green!!!!!!!

All I can figure is we’d bought some a few weeks earlier and forgot one of the bags in the trunk.

We didn’t open it to find out if it stunk, thanks.

I bought a couple of racks of ribs once, got home from the store, opened them up....they were ripe...not outdated or anything. Store made good on them.

You've stunk up the 'fire pretty good, with your bullshit.

And you put yourself forward as some kinda chef, when you can't even smell?

Yep, I am a great chef. Surprises me and my fam too, but I'd whip your azz in any cook-off.

Chit, tomorrow night is Peruvian civiche and grilled octopus over fried polenta.

Now that I cant smoke a butt

You can't smell.

If you can't smell, you can't cook.

People may act to your face like they ain't gaggin, but if you can prep rancid shoulder without a clue, your food ain't worth shat.

reminds me of a girl in 10th grade...........

100% false. You probably know there many professional chefs that have anosmia.

Yea.... I'm sure you did.

You are an idiot. Go back to your TV dinners and Hungry Mans.

Fuggin retard can't smell but knows all about culinary delight.

LMAO.

You don't even know when your diaper needs changin, and claim ta be Emeril.

Birdy's king of the self-absorbed pollyannas on the 'fire, but you're makin a strong move.

LOL

Probably would have been tender, though. 😆

No. More like some crazy mix of Jet Tila, Alain Ducasse, and Pierre Gagnaire.

How is that? Because I can cook, really, really well, despite not being able to smell?

GFY, chucklehead.

No, moron.

Because you jump on the fire, and continuously give yourself a handjob bout alla your nonexistent qualities.

But you're gonna need ta lose the water heater and mattress, ta be taken seriously.

You are right.

Your posts are full of intelligent, thoughtful, carefully crafted responses in well spoken English. ALWAYS a positive influence, here on the 'fire.

We should all hope and strive to be the friendly, helpful, intelligent TROLL that you are, adding positive value to posts.

TFF

Ex-wife and I used to go to a Peruvian place for Ceviche. It was the bomb!!

Gotta say, her bad qualities outweighed the good but one good one was that she was always up for a food adventure.

Just scrapin the dogsht, off the bottom of the fire's shoe.

You'll get warmer, when the sun comes up in the morning.

Well thank God this place has YOU to police the content. We are all in good hands, LMAO.

Chucklehead.

I cooked one awhile back that was just starting to smell, a little slimey too it tasted fine, pretty good actually.

Too bad ya wasn't colorblind.

You woulda been Rembrandt.

Yes. Cookie caught a dinner platter load of seafood at an Oregon coastal restaurant years back. I'm not much for savoring things and would have had half the load consumed in a New York minute had she not questioned the quality. Gave it good close sniff test, and yes, there would have been some very serious post consumption consequences.

Staff were quite polite and agreeable, but I was still a little hesitant when the replacement dishes arrived.

I had an Uncle in England, married my mom’s sister, wrenched on aircraft engines while in the RAF up until 1945. Somewhere in all of that he got a big whiff of battery acid, ruined his sense of smell.

He loved to cook, made a living at it, he became a noted Chef for a local hotel.

Of course we ARE talking English food here.

Seems like no sense of smell would be a plus for cooking Indian food.

Duck doesn't know dog food, from dogschit, but GD, he a helluva cook.

LOL

ROTFLMAO

Yea..... Even Fubarski might agree that even I could probably pull of a crumpet.

I cook by taste, sight, and hearing. Sounds crazy. But I have not smelled in my life. It's like suggesting a deaf person can't appreciate music, or a blind person can't understand fall colors.

Only an idiot who has never experienced it, would pass judgement.

Speaking of idiots.

I wouldn't need a sense of smell to tell me a package swollen with the product of off gassing needs to go straight to the garbage bin.

That's because you're not a fugking moron.

The Duck, is a fugking moron.

As evidenced by his posts.

8th Amendment!!!!!

I much prefer following this riot.

Nope.

Just can't smell.

And stop making fun of my disability, lol

Being a damn plumber, there are times I wish I couldn’t smell!

Humans that *aren't* defective, will never understand.

Boo hoo.

Pollyanna POS pretends bein substandard is an advantage.

You pointed out that you're less than average in the OP. So that must have been your objective.

Just come out an let the 'fire know, was you wantin sympathy or just your usual tention ho bit?

As a fellow constitutional scholar, I tend to side with The Duck (his groundbreaking scholarship on the 8th Amendment is almost as revolutionary as my work on the Titles of Nobility clause) and this will be another instance of that. Due to certain restrictions of a religious nature, there are certain foods and combinations of foods that I can't eat. One restriction is that I can't eat dairy products together with meat products, so if I'm cooking for those who don't follow my religious protocols I will cook things that I can't eat or even taste. For some items, I can't even touch them (pork, shellfish, a few other things).

Last week, I made pulled pork with scallops for my neighbors. They said it was the best surf and turf they've ever had. Little did they know that it wasn't pork and scallops, it was canned tuna and Gardenburgers that I mixed with pig urine.

😂

Depends on whose wife you have, sir.

Well, what the hell are we supposed to make fun of then? Yer strong points?

I _literally_ have no idea what this means.

Congrats?

Have another drink. Good lord. No wonder no one takes you seriously.

Nailed it!

My COCK!

LOL!

I didn't smell that comin!

No mean feat, ta stump a moron.

But there's somethin fishy, bout this post.

Just, somethin in the air.

What is it?

Just a hint of............?

Whoops, sorry.

Didn't mean ta make fun of someone with assholia.

God, have another cocktail, dumbass.

#Exponential!

#ICantCook4shat

Aged just right...