Jump into a pool full of ill-tempered sea bass
Take 5 Benadryl and then try to do calculus
Setup a daycare in a Stabucks
Receive a rectal exam from a near sighted proctologist
Watch a Kardashian’s marathon while holding a loaded handgun
Read the Apple user agreement
Try to get Martha Stuart turned on in a bed with dirty sheets
Listen to an audio version of War and Peace narrated by Fran Drescher
Eat ExLax and then spend the next hour on a roller coaster
Let a 4 year old shave me with a straight razor
Play all the Facebook games I get invitations to
Replace Visene with Tabasco
Take a film class taught by Michael Moore
Go on a date with Kate Gosslin
Agree to buy a one month supply of wine for Jennifer Lawrence (who has that much money?)
Contemplate the deeper meanings of Iron Butterfly’s Inagaddadavida
Be stuck in an elevator with Jar Jar Binks
Tell a bar full of hipsters that we’re out of IPA
