Bottleneck case dies don't flare the mouth, so you shouldn't be able to "start" a bullet into the case unless it has expanded the mouth way too much. The chamfer on the case mouth is usually sufficient to get a bullet positioned for entry into the case.
Brass springs back about .001, and since your expander mandrel has a .223 dia it should leave you with a case neck I.D. of .222, which would give you .002 of neck tension which is a good number. You are seeing anywhere from .219-.221 for .003-.005, and .005 is too much. I don't know what lube you are using, but get some inside the neck, as a dry mandrel can get sticky and give inconsistent results. Polishing the mandrel works well too. Just don't remove too much material.
