My 88 yr old retired farmer Father-in-Law Passed on today...
He was above all, a man of God, and a gentleman.
A seemingly simple man in most respects, yet, in my eyes, he possessed some rare and sophisticated insights into the human condition.
And a dry sense of humor...
He's just been George to me for nearly 29 years, but all day today I've been thinking of him as "Adamant George"...
Adamant in his love of all the things of God, and adamant in his love for his rather large family...
George and Faye had nine children together, all of whom are still living.. And all of whom raised families of their own... if all of the kids, grandkids, and great grandkids were together at the farm the number would come to nearly 40, without counting any spouses or in-laws...
A lifetime of dust and farm chemicals had left Georges lungs in poor condition these last ten years... For two years he's been on oxygen 24/7... At least he's free of that now... Little else disturbed me as much as seeing that strong man tied to that clear plastic hose...
A series of hospitalizations over the last couple of years had left him weaker and sicker every time. The doctor told Faye that his time was short after the last hospitalization just 3 weeks ago...
George was adamant about other things as well, though... For as long as i've known him i'd guess he figured to die on the farm where he lived and worked...
With his wife exhausted from caring for him, the kids gathered in and tried to help... It was obvious, from our perspective, that the best help could be arranged through hospitalization, and perhaps home nursing care...
George was adamant that neither was going to happen...
I should mention here that I don't believe that i was ever what George thought a son-in-law should be... We got along, for the most part, but it was sometimes standoffish and a bit forced...
Last night my wife and her sister were there to help through the night... It took them 30 minutes to get him from the living room chair to the bed...
My wife called at ten o'clock and said that they'd never be able to move him if something happened. I got in the truck and drove over there... Two sons who live nearby, but one had to work last night and one was scheduled to work this morning and needed rest...
I got there about 10:30 and my wife asked me to talk him into the hospital... I pulled a chair up to his bed and tried, but he was, well, adamant...
He was not going... and when the girls walked out in tears, he told me that he was going to die there...
He sat up several times during the night, to drink a sip of water, or to relieve himself...
It was a long night, and I came to appreciate the dedication and toil that my Mother-in Law displayed in keeping him so well, for so long, with little assistance...
A little before 6:30 this morning he sat up one last time, and then collapsed... I caught him before he made it to the floor, and was amazed at how little he weighed...
Adamant George died at home in his own bed...
As with so many other things, he'd dealt with death on his own terms, and just the way he'd planned...
I and, i suppose, everyone else knew what he'd planned and wanted... I do not, however, imagine that anyone, and especially George, had foreseen me being there as it unfolded...
Wish I could have done more... Wish i could have been someone else for him....
