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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 46,253 Likes: 2
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 46,253 Likes: 2 |
Godamighty, reading these stories makes me feel truly blessed. 35 years with a drop dead gorgeous lady, kind, loving, zero snakes in her head. Me too Dogs, God sent me the most forgiving, patient and graciously beautiful creature in existence, I am a lucky non-deserving bastid, bet you are too. 
Trump Won!
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 12,857 Likes: 5
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 12,857 Likes: 5 |
Mine's so damn deranged, she wants to be "friends".
Sic Semper Tyrannis
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 3,428
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 3,428 |
Well, mine is sitting in jail right now (it's been over a year) for running over her new boyfriend and killing him. She just had some kind of hearing to see if she should be eligible for bond and the hearing officer said something like, "We can't have someone with known mental issues released back onto the streets of our community." I got a chuckle out of that, not just because she will continue to sit her butt in jail but that they didn't realize until after she killed someone that they'd had someone as crazy as her running the streets all along! So I guess the question is..."Why did you marry her in the first place??" Well, I married her because she wasn't crazy at the time. As I look back on it, it was a progressive thing that happened slowly over several years and she just got worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore. At the end, she couldn't figure out why I was carrying my pistol with me everywhere I went, but it was because she was crazy enough to hire someone to take me out. After I divorced her, she just got more and more loony to the point that people were afraid to approach or talk to her. She was usually pretty meek around me since she knew I was the one person she couldn't buffalo. Hell, during the divorce her woman attorney came to my attorney and told him that we needed to end the negotiations ASAP since she could not take spending any more time around my ex since she was "crazy". HA!  We won't even get into all of the times she has sued me for money owed to her that just wasn't true. Fortunately I married a much better looking lady who also happens to be an attorney. Thank God I didn't have to hire an attorney to defend me! 
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 910
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 910 |
Friend of mine calls them practice wives.  Another said the next time he got the urge to get married he was just going to find some gal that hated his guts so he could give her a car and a house and get it over with right away.
NRA Benefactor Member
"When democracy turns to tyranny, the armed citizenry still gets to vote!"
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 13,382 Likes: 2
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 13,382 Likes: 2 |
When it comes to marrying a crazy woman because it is world class sex, I'm reminded of that old saying, "A man's dick will lead him into places he wouldn't go with a machine gun." L.W.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." (William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830s.)
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 8,910
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 8,910 |
Everyone needs to date a crazy woman at least once
once is enough...that's where some men make their mistake In retrospect, I'd be perfectly happy to have foregone the experience.
While it's true that all liberals are crazy people, not all crazy people are liberals.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 12,192
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 12,192 |
My Ex wasn't crazy, she was just a vicious bitch.
I did date a weird one for a while, twenty years later I saw her on an episode of "Cops".
She was living at Venice Beach and had gone full bore Fruit loops.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,394 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,394 Likes: 1 |
Mine is "full bore Fruit Loops"
"The Warden is still with me -
42 years now.
Yeah - she's crazy. A sane woman would have left a LONG time ago!
I've always been a curmudgeon - now I'm an old curmudgeon.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,885 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,885 Likes: 1 |
Mark, you are either a very brave fellow... or you're the one that's crazy!
Old Turd- Deplorable- Unrepentant Murderer- Domestic Violent Extremist
Just "Campfire Riffraff and Trash"
This will be my last post! Flave 1/3/21
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Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,471
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,471 |
Wife is crazy enough that I'm scared to find out what an ex would be.
Liberalism; The impossible yet accepted notion that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 18,033
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 18,033 |
Luckily, the crazy ones in my life dropped by the wayside before I said "I do." Had a couple of em. Both started out pretty normal, and became totally bat schidt crazy. The first one decided she was going Vegan and told me I had to quit hunting and fishing. She was out of my life the same day. Turned out she was so distraught that she went out and killed her dog, and got in a big fight with the cops. That bitch was talented-I'll give her that. She could suck a beach ball through a garden hose.
The other one just gradually got crazy. I never really did figure out what her major malfunction was. She finally gave me the old "we should just be friends" crap. She was gone and out of my life in a week. There's too many women around to put up with any BS.
I've got a good wife and we've been happily married for a quarter century now.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 44,447 Likes: 9
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 44,447 Likes: 9 |
Oh man. This will be fun. Time and bandwidth will not allow for all my stories, so I'll just post texts and e-mails to give some ideas. You are a very, very sad absolutely miserable tool of Satan. Good thing no weapon formed against me, shall prosper. LMAO. Clark What's her screen name on the Campfire? Fireball. Dave Payback. TFF
Slaves get what they need. Free men get what they want. Rehabilitation is way overrated. Orwell wasn't wrong. GOA member disappointed NRA member 24HCF SEARCH
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 44,447 Likes: 9
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 44,447 Likes: 9 |
We split. Had been apart a good 4 months or so. (divorced due to her cheating while I was in the Navy)
I was working as a service writer/2nd shift service manager for Peterbilt dealer.
She walked in, I looked up from the desk and said "If you're here, who's guarding hell?"
That's when it went from bad to worse. She went nuts bitching that I was seeing someone new and it wasn't right. We had only been divorced 4 months and this was wayyy too soon and I was wrong to be dating so soon.
Ignore the fact that she was already remarried and 7 months pregnant.
That's when I was sure she was certifiable.
Since then she and her husband and her dad have all threatened to kill me several times.
Been quiet the last 2/3 years tho.
Uhh, you're still a dead man. Holy schit. Keep this stuff coming. Friggin hilarious. I thought mine was bad. I'll share when I can climb back in my chair. 
Slaves get what they need. Free men get what they want. Rehabilitation is way overrated. Orwell wasn't wrong. GOA member disappointed NRA member 24HCF SEARCH
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Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 17,821
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 17,821 |
Mine went nuts at age 45.
Size 1 turbo prop.
Came back later, spun it some more.
Did not re marry it.
Working a lot of overtime now, so I can get her a face lift, boob job, tummy tuck and brain transplant, and staple a bunch of 100's to her arse so some blind, deaf old dumbarse will take her.
Last edited by hookeye; 08/24/16.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,634
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,634 |
How about this....36 years to my HS sweetheart and counting...
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Joined: May 2016
Posts: 186
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 186 |
How about this....36 years to my HS sweetheart and counting... How old is that former high school male wrestler these days? ETA 'these days'
Last edited by GanjaFarmer; 08/23/16.
You are my favorite minority.
GFY!
Clark
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 15,565
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 15,565 |
Got an uncle who tells a story when he's drinking:
"Been married 4 times, all 4 had the same name:
Plaintiff!!!" Love it.....
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,659
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,659 |
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much" Teddy Roosevelt
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 67,746
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 67,746 |
I have three ex wives. Don't know their names, marital status, or anything else about them. Don't know where they live.
When I moved on, I moved on. Just saying............ How did you see your kids? Dave might be wrong, but i believe he had custody and raised them. The two kids were both with the first wifre. The Courts gave me complete custody after our divorce, when the baby was 10 months old, and the boy was 5. I raised them as a single Dad for the next 14 years. She refused to pay child support. The Courts never made her comply with the order to do so. Later, she got a Judge in Washington State to turn over the kids's trust funds to her. $75K in each account. She drained them, leaving them with no college money. The kids keep in touch with her to some extent. They don't discuss it with me. I do know that with the grand daughter getting ready to turn 4 YO, the ex has never visited, or seen the little girl. That alone pretty much sums her up.
Sam......
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,752
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,752 |
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