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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 6,857 Likes: 3
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 6,857 Likes: 3 |
Old sheriff, when asked by a young lady at a cocktail party why he carried a 45:
"Well, Ma'am, because they don't make a 46"
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 5,611
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 5,611 |
A grouchy old friend of mine to a clueless new hunter who pointed his rifle at the codger as they stalked a bear, “Open the action on that thing so I can see where I'm going.”
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 14,004 Likes: 6
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 14,004 Likes: 6 |
A grouchy old friend of mine to a clueless new hunter who pointed his rifle at the codger as they stalked a bear, “Open the action on that thing so I can see where I'm going.” That's a good one!
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 917
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 917 |
"That girl is so pretty she'd bring a tear to a glass eye"
George
Dad always said, "Nadie Nacio Ensenado" (No One Was Born Taught)
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 43,991 Likes: 26
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 43,991 Likes: 26 |
I was pheasant hunting with my good friend Rancho last October when I missed an absolute gimme rooster.
Rancho was up the hill about 50 yards behind me and hollered,
"That sure is a pretty shotgun!"
For some reason that still cracks me up.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 10,044 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 10,044 Likes: 1 |
"That guy would probably f**k a snake if it had a hand to hold on to."
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Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 1,871
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 1,871 |
From an old timer talking about how much tougher they had it in his day- "Back when ships were made of wood and men were made outta steel..."
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 22,884
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 22,884 |
From Dober:
"Life is easy. People make it hard."
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 19,179
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 19,179 |
You can hunt all day with the wind at your back... I've never heard that but it is SAGE ! Jerry
jwall- *** 3100 guy***
A Flat Trajectory is Never a Handicap
Speed is Trajectory's Friend !!
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,337 Likes: 33
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,337 Likes: 33 |
Happiness is a warm gutpile.
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice.
--ironbender
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 152,346 Likes: 43
Campfire Savant
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Campfire Savant
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 152,346 Likes: 43 |
F..k em if they can't take a joke!!
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 161
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 161 |
my favorite though not original with me: The loose nut behind the stock needs tightened.
358win
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 19,131 Likes: 4
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 19,131 Likes: 4 |
My new favorite, I heard on TV where they were moving old log houses and barns, and restoring them. Fellow said this other fellow was tougher than 2 yellow toenails. miles
Look out for number 1, don't step in number 2.
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 19,131 Likes: 4
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 19,131 Likes: 4 |
While riding up the mountain, in MT. I asked the outfitter, If I see a elk, Can I shoot off the horses back? His answer was, "Once".
I heard something similar back when we ran dogs, and lots of people rode horses. A friend and I had met up on an old road and was sitting there talking, when we heard a shot not very far from us. A short while later a fellow came up riding a horse, and my friend asked Him if it was He who shot. He said yes, and my friend asked if He killed the deer. Fellow said no, so my friend asked, you just shot once, why didn't you shoot again. Fellow replied, "after I shot, I had to ride." My experience is that I have had less gun shy horses than gun shy dogs. miles
Look out for number 1, don't step in number 2.
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,947
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,947 |
A gunsmith describing the heat treat on a rebuilt Mauser rifle..."harder than woodpecker lips". That one always cracks me up.
The truth angers those whom it does not convince
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,781 Likes: 3
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,781 Likes: 3 |
"That girls got a perfect set a legs, feet at one end and a snatch at the other" anonymous
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 152,346 Likes: 43
Campfire Savant
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Campfire Savant
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 152,346 Likes: 43 |
Harder than a preacher's dick
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 12,420 Likes: 4
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 12,420 Likes: 4 |
The late Jack O'Connor once commented in an article on rifle stocks in a Gun Digest, "That stock is so ugly it would abort a lady crocodile." I stole it to describe a .270 I got into cheap. Stock is butt ugly but on does it shoot. I've thought about restocking it but I'm afraid I'd lose the accuracy. Guess, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." fit here.
My favorite comment though is attributed to Adolph Hitler.
"What good fortune for government that the people do not think."
Sure is the truth. Think snowflakes.
Paul B.
Our forefathers did not politely protest the British.They did not vote them out of office, nor did they impeach the king,march on the capitol or ask permission for their rights. ----------------They just shot them.
MOLON LABE
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,160
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,160 |
Heard my Dad say this a million times, "Nothing good happens after midnight", usually as I was heading out the door in my younger days. I should have listened more and stayed out late less.
.280 AI Fan
"I don't make jokes, I just watch the government and report the facts" Will Rogers
"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing" Unknown
Trump 2024!
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 44,905 Likes: 12
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 44,905 Likes: 12 |
Heard my Dad say this a million times, "Nothing good happens after midnight", usually as I was heading out the door in my younger days. I should have listened more and stayed out late less. Dad said that to my younger brother many times, and my brother carries a few scars which support the truth of it.
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