Blacker than Coalies ass.
Harder than a wedding dick.
Shakin' like a dog [bleep]' peach pits.
Sweatin' like a n
gger on auction Sunday.
Sweatin' like a whore in church.
Like two peas in a pod.
As rare as chicken lips.
You look like you've been rode hard and put away wet.
Look like the South end of a North bound horse.
Like looking for a needle in a hay stack.
Smart as a yard dog.
Mean as a junk yard dog.
Cool as a cucumber.
Hotter than blazes.
Thats enough to knock a buzzard off a puke wagon. (referring to something that stinks BAD)
I've seen better heads on beer. (referring to an ugly face)
I've seen better faces on iodine bottles (ugly face again)
Why that girl could eat corn on the cob thru a picket fence. (buck toothed)
She/he's got a case of the stob eye. (eyes that bulge out)
Slicker than a whistle.
Slicker than owl [bleep].
As dead as a hammer.
He's got a face like a totem pole. (deadpan look)
Dumber than a box of rocks.
Looks like two cats fightin' in a burlap bag (when talking about a woman with a nice swagger to her ass as she's walking away)