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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 35,293
Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 35,293 |
With your socks on in the house?
But then you figure out there's a big damn hole in your sock and it's just a cold tile you stepping on....
It happens.
Then you happy because you didn't step on water (or animal piss).
But you still have a hole in your sock, so not super happy.
Something clever here.
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 4,867
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 4,867 |
Usually dog piss, here. Clearly have failed at some level. Will trade you for the holy sock vs tile deal?
Golldammed motion detector lights. A guy can’t even piss off his porch in peace any more.
"Look, I want to help the helpless. It's the clueless I don't give a [bleep] about." - Dennis Miller on obamacare.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 32,130 Likes: 1
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 32,130 Likes: 1 |
I had a hole in my boxer briefs once.
If you put Taco Bell sauce in your ramen noodles it tastes just like poverty
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,357 Likes: 5
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,357 Likes: 5 |
I had a girlfriend like that once.
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 18,033
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 18,033 |
We all ready discussed this Dave-get a beaver, I tell you man!
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 152,223 Likes: 35
Campfire Savant
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Campfire Savant
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 152,223 Likes: 35 |
It's bad when you step in something wet, I hate leaks.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 15,622 Likes: 4
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 15,622 Likes: 4 |
I'd say an older stihl or a huskie. the new stuff (after the 1960s) is all junk. But don't shave it...
"Chances Will Be Taken"
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 35,293
Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 35,293 |
I'd say an older stihl or a huskie. the new stuff (after the 1960s) is all junk. But don't shave it... Finally someone is paying attention. Now if I can just find a decent Reuben sandwich in Idaho and stop these telemarketing calls.
Something clever here.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,740 Likes: 35
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,740 Likes: 35 |
Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,193
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,193 |
Good Reuben at Josefina's in Mesilla....
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 53,303
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 53,303 |
I'd rather cold water than cold dog vomit,...
GTC
Member, Clan of the Border Rats
-- “Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”- Mark Twain
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,740 Likes: 35
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,740 Likes: 35 |
I'd rather cold water than cold dog vomit,...
GTC Anything that comes out a dog is not a good encounter. Especially in the middle of the night. 
Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla!
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524 |
I'd rather cold water than cold dog vomit,...
GTC That telltale hork hork hork in the middle of the night cues me to turn on the light before I walk out the bedroom door.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,740 Likes: 35
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,740 Likes: 35 |
I'd rather cold water than cold dog vomit,...
GTC That telltale hork hork hork in the middle of the night cues me to turn on the light before I walk out the bedroom door. No doubt! My old dog used to like to jump up in the bed with me and lick my face to wake me up. One night he'd tanked up on water before he jumped up. He got to my face and all that water came up... all over my face!  Dammmitt!
Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla!
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524 |
Here's the scenario.
Cat catches rabbit, and f^cks with it overnight, finally ripping open its chest and eating its still beating heart, then walks away, leaving carcass.
Our Jackal/Hyena/Dingo rescue dog eats rest of carcass when we let him out. By the time I get home, he's eating grass to settle his stomache.
He skips dinner.
2am: hork hork hork
5am: I walk out of bedroom to green red pile of mush.
You only have to step in it once to learn to click on the light.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,740 Likes: 35
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,740 Likes: 35 |
LOL! Yeah, I had a buddy that experienced the WORST pet disaster though. His room mate had a big black lab. That dog would go out in the back yard and eat his own turds... One night they let him out and filled up on his own turds, then about 4am he hurled them all over my buddy's bed as he was sleeping. I showed up to pick him up for work, and he was in the front yard with a water hose spraying his comforter down. This was Denver. In January. During a norther... The water was freezing on contact. This guy was an engineer.  Seriously.
Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla!
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 31,441
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 31,441 |
"I can't be canceled, because, I don't give a fuuck!"
--- Kid Rock 2022
Holocaust Deniers, the ultimate perverted dipchits: Bristoe, TheRealHawkeye, stophel, Ghostinthemachine, anyone else?
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 35,293
Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 35,293 |
Something clever here.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,294 Likes: 10
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,294 Likes: 10 |
One reason the two tails aren't conjoined is that they plan to hang rockets from the center wing.
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 26,642 Likes: 6
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 26,642 Likes: 6 |
Which chainsaw would be best for cutting a Reuben?
Only applies if you cut your Reuben.
Should one use vegetable oil for the bar?
Which 1,000 islands were included in formulating 1,000 island dressing?
I only wear my Holy socks on Sunday anyhow.
FJB & FJT
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