Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Crop dusting........

You guys need to buy a container of "Liquid Ass"! Available on Amazon. I've had more fun with that than the law allows. Horrible, but realistic, smell that will gag you. Lingers too.....used it this spring on my cousin's fishing boat while I fished in mine. One little spray under his seat was all it took....kept hearing "Dayum....something [bleep] in my boat! What the hell?"

Look at the comments on the Amazon website for the product...you'll cry laughing.

I too have used the same sort of motivator to encourage my wife to get to moving along.

A friend farted in a Tupperware bowl and put a lid on it in Walmart.

Yeah... "A friend".... Riiiiight!

Have a dog let one go, give YOU the skunk eye, and leave the room? I do.

Followed her out as soon as it reached me. She caught a yard bunny and ate about half. Never smelled anything like it. They should replicate that for crowd dispersal, more effective than CS.

Guilty as charged!
I used to work with a guy that was pretty fussy. Every day at 4:15 he would go into the men's room and squat in the same stall. So I got so I would go in at 4:16 and sit down in the stall next to him. Then I would proceed to grunt and gag and groan and make all kinds of disgusting noises. Then I would flush and hurry back to the office ahead of him. He would come back and rant & rave about the nasty SOB that made all that racket and ruined it so he couldn't take a dump. This went on for about 2 weeks before I cracked up laughing and gave it away.
I got him good another time when our supervisor came for site visit. He hated our boss with the fire of a thousand hells. There are doors into the office, one on his side and another on my side. I would quietly sneak into my side and let a SBD rip and then sneak back out while those 2 talked shop. I must have done this about 4 or 5 times. After the boss left my co-worker said did you smell that rotten SOB? He smelled like he crapped his pants! I got laughing and he hollered at me that he thought it was our boss and the boss probably thought it was him.
I don't know why he called me an a-hole all the time.
When I worked in the power plant we had the world's slowest elevator. I liked to get in on the first floor when I knew somebody else was going all the way up to the fifth. I would let one go and then push the button and get off on the second floor. Have a nice ride!

Had a supervisor write up a fellow controller for Flatulence in the Control Room.............

everyone knew that it was him............... however he responded in writing....

the letter which contained '...please articulate with specificity the exact method used to ascertain that it was mine...'

previous letter wadded up and File 13d.....

The next iteration is known as the "Twister." It is also a verb.

Go into an empty room (small office, elevator is perfect) and let a good one go. Be sure the entire volume has left your pants. Then leave, closing the door behind you if possible. It's best if you know the room will be occupied soonest.

The unsuspecting victim enters the environment and receives the full blast, but no one else is there.





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Father in law and I sitting in the little atrium at kohls, between the doors.
I looked at him lifted up and dropped a small a-bomb.
He looked at said "is that all you got", and dropped a thermonuclear explosion.
We jumped up, he went outside, I went in, and watched people walk through.

Our wives caught us, figured it out, (we have a bad rep), and we got in trouble. Again

My favorite is in the car on a road trip with buddies. That will teach them not to touch my radio.

ordered

smokepole did you eat a lot of paint chips when you were a kid? You sure don't seem to the sharpest tool in the shed. LMAO.

True cropdusting.........I absolutely nuked our Twin Bonanza on the way to altitude with ten jumpers on board. We HAD to be leaving a green con-trail, it was so thick.

You need to be suspicious of every fart urge......Sharting isn't something you want to do in public.

Morticia, did you do a search on all my posts? I think there's one in the reloading forum you missed, better check there.

I cropdust, you follow in my wake.

Heard that rumble way down in the gut one night in Walmart, and knew it was going to be a bad one. I sort of sauntered off by myself to the frozen food aisle, and let one rip, it would have gagged a maggot. No sooner than I'd done the dirty deed, a Black woman with a flock of chilluns turned the corner and came down the aisle. I'd moved away from the spot, and was pretending to be looking for something, so as not to look like the guilty dog. I heard her say to her kids...."shoooooweeeee, deys sumptin spiled in de freezer."

There was something 'spiled" alright, but it wasn't in a freezer.

Nope didn't follow your around. But when I read a something stupid and look to left of the screen your name always seems to be there. LMAO

Being almost deaf and having no sense of smell, I always have an aisle to myself in Wally World

Mom to Dad: "Why do your farts stink so much?"

Dad: "So deaf people can enjoy them too."

I earned the title “Silent but Deadly” many years ago.