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Joined: Feb 2003
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 15,553 |
a point that seems to have been missed
"I Birn Quhil I Se" MacLeod of Lewis
I Burn While I See
Hold Fast MacLeod of Harris
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,597
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,597 |
I'm glad glad Jesus doesn't pick and choose whom he will forgive... I have no beef with Jesus forgiving anyone.
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive." - C.S. Lewis
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,930
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,930 |
Nope. I didn't miss the point, and it was a valid point he made, no doubt. Can't argue against the fact you can forgive him without seeing him.
That said, seeing him...and confronting him physically...as an adult, might give some closure. That is what I am struggling with....whether or not it is worth it...and whether or not it better serves him...or I. Hope that makes sense.
Truthfully, a part of me wants to see him vulnerable and broken....desperate....and discouraged. A part of me is not a nice person...and I get off on the fact he is 'physically' hurting....and struggling with the fact he is, indeed, trapped...without choices and direction. Not nice, by any means...but if I were to be honest....there is some sort of validation in the way life has played out for him, AND my mother...for that matter.
Like I said...not a moment has past in the last week that I am not struggling with 'what' I should 'do'....and whom, and for what reasons, I am doing it.
May seem all clear as a bell for most of you...but it is proving to me a real struggle for me...on many levels.
I just don't wanna make a mistake....cuz when I make them <mistakes>....they tend to be grand...
Thanks, again, for all the great input and perspective. I am truly listening....and I truly appreciate all the different experience that goes into all these posts.
HoundGirl
Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain
Part of me lives with the wind in my face,
while the other part is barely alive.
--Mary Gauthier
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,428
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,428 |
You have a "bigger dog" in this fight ......... (grin)
Blessings to you.
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other the person to die ......
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,951 Likes: 5
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,951 Likes: 5 |
HG... I'd go see him, but like folks said not expect much.
Could be that the best way to leave all that crap behind is to forgive him anyway.
Birdwatcher
"...if the gentlemen of Virginia shall send us a dozen of their sons, we would take great care in their education, instruct them in all we know, and make men of them." Canasatego 1744
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,262
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,262 |
HG. you will feel a relief of pressure from your soul when you see him. forgiving someone that has done you bad is the most enlighting thing you can do for yourself and its what god wants you to do .
I can't describe the feeling it gives you as I am not educated enough to know the right words. but trust god on this one and you will get to where you want to be..
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 7,328
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 7,328 |
So many times in life you reap what you sow...........................He is now reaping from all the pain he dished out..!
Sometimes being the "bigger, better person" takes courage. Seeing him will take that courage and likely you will gain far more than you give.
From all that you have said , you are the "bigger, better person"...........Now show him that you are everything that he said you could never be.....and more !!!!!
Mark
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 15
New Member
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New Member
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 15 |
My dw will confirm that I can hold a grudge with the best of them, I'd be quite likely to send him a bouquet of excerement & wish him none of the luck in the world, just me but if he did me as wrong as you believe he did to you thats as much contact as I'd want.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 28,237 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 28,237 Likes: 1 |
Now show him that you are everything that he said you could never be.....and more !!!!! Very well said.
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,366
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,366 |
HG
I was adopted so my "real" father I never knew and the man who adopted me and was enough of a man to be a father to me died over 20 years ago. I'd give more to see and spend time with either than anything else in the world. Just because both were my father.
But that's me and as James said, you need to do what is right for you. You didn't mention his prognosis for recovery and you need to consider that.
If you go to see him, and I hope you do, try not to dwell on scenarios of how the reunion will take place but just go as the person you are to see the man he's become. Expect little but look for all the good you can find, and you will gain from the experience. Maybe a little and maybe a lot, but you will gain more self confidence and self reliance. It seems like a big step now but big steps can bring big gains in our lives. Go see him. +1 VERY well said. Bob
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,366
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,366 |
Those folks that have our number, always seem to have it to some degree.
THAT...RIGHT THERE...is my fear! Sorta sickens my stomach, to the nTH degree. Problem is, I'll never really know unless I try. Bigger problem is trying to figure out if I am making 'hopes' outta hamburger....cuz if I've learned anything in the past couple of years, being home...and trying to help mother, is that a snake is a snake. Not sure why, but there is a part of me that can't help but hope....and can't help but see the best in ppl....even if their best isn't even there. My struggle...and, in the end, my short-coming. Sure wish life was simple. Live and learn...and this is looking to be a big one. HoundGirl Taking the liberty to change the post to "folks that HAD your number". The adult person that you are now will Not let people jerk them around by their emotions.
Last edited by 30Gibbs; 07/28/07.
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