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One of that gal’s stockings would make a full-length cocktail gown for my ex. Whatever else she was, she wasn’t fat.

You do realize if you let her move back in and she has no assets of her own, sooner or later you will end up poisoned, or fall and hit your head in the bath tub. On accident of course.

There are too many good women to put up with a trashy one. Good grief, her own kids won’t have her. If you have anything else to do with her you must enjoy getting beat up.

It’s simple. It’s like Chit, the more you stir it the more it stinks. Move on asap or you’ll have to smell it every day.
The word “No” is the best word in the English language. If you say “No” you can always negotiate and options become even greater and multiply. Unfortunately some of us are slow learners.

Same thing I told my Son. Get an attorney. Cut the cord. Get it done now.

He could not listen. Hoped for a reconciliation. Refused to believe she had a side piece.

Several of us told him, "If she is not fugging you, she is fugging someone else."

My son hung on for almost three years. He let her set all the terms of the divorce and after sixteen years together he walked away with nothing except a crappy old car and a horse trailer with a full payment book.

He left her with the home with over $100K in equity, instead of selling it and paying off all their credit.

Three years layer, he now says, "How stupid was I?"

Don't be my son.

There is no coming back from infidelity. Adultery is not an action. It is a character trait.

I would change the locks today, and have her served tomorrow. If she is out on the streets, so be it. She made her choices, she can live with the consequences.

Yup.

go on a hunting trip with her or a caribbean cruise .

Lot of reading and good advice here:

TAM Coping With Infidelity

Found that place many years ago when I had suspicions of a woman I was dating cheating. Got the "he's just a friend" routine. Yeah, a friend who was staying over and banging the hell out of her anytime I was out of town hunting / fishing / etc.

The "tip of the iceberg" thing is almost always true with these situations. Strong gut feelings rarely turn out to be wrong. And almost all the stories follow the same trend, being that:

"I love you but I'm not in love with you" = She has a side piece.
"We should try a separation' = She wants to be able to bang side piece without any interference from you.
"We are just friends" = I either have or am planning on banging him.
"It was just one kiss" = He's felt me up and we have hot make out sessions regularly.
"It was just one time" = ongoing affair multiple sessions.
"We used a condom" = no condom, get checked for STD's.

The also always do things that were likely taken off the table for you years ago. BJ's, anal, sex in any position other than missionary, kinky chit.

The consensus is to go cold on her, give her very real serious consequences. Out of the house. Get a lawyer and file for divorce. Out her to friends and family. Rock her damn world. The only chance at a possibility for a real reconciliation down the road, and to put a stop to her nonsense is to go scorched earth on her now.

If, after she sees the very real consequences for her actions, you somehow want to reconcile down the road with her, the divorce can be put on hold.

Not only no!

But hell no!

I think the OP has a real good chance to make this thing work.

Have you thought about begging?

It may feel good to out her, but you give up at least two things when you do that: You look vindictive and petty, including to your kids, and second, in some situations outing her gives up a LOT of leverage during the negotiation phase of the settlement.

At this point, it's strictly business, and you simply do what you have to do to get the outcome you want: a good relationship with your kids and a settlement that's quick and to your liking, for example.

Did anyone say "LAWYER" yet?

Not outing her is a good bargaining chip. It gives you leverage in dividing the assets. It’s amazing what they’ll give up to avoid being branded a whore and to get the opportunity to blame you for the divorce.

I would try to stay on good terms until divorce was final.

LMAO. Listen to this man!

Chicks LOVE begging

Nothing says "doormat" like please baby.

I know a guy, that had 2 relationships with women that were married, one was an affair while he was married himself and the other the women duped him into thinking she was single but was actually married. That was over 20 years ago for each and both are still married to the husbands they cheated on. I have a couple other friends that had a swinging relationship with some people at the job they worked at. again one couple got divorced, the other is still married 20+ years later.

I think its universal everyone is saying NO don't let her back. I would say what is the point of letting her back if all she wants to be is a roomie. you didn't mention if she is asking to be back together for real. I will cut a bit against the grain here and say this. people are tempted to do various things. their ability to change and not do it again depends on the person they were before the situation. Are they grounded in religion and faith? Do they have morals and wish to attend church? I would say its more likely you have problems with her again, another buddy had his wife move out and into a guys house that was a coal miner in the town. later she confused to [bleep] the guy at the archery shop. so again more was done than originally thought!! he forgave her and I think it prolonged their marriage about 3 more years. At which point she left him for good. same thing that I am saying here, she was a HORE, before they married, during and after. nice guy but honestly all his friends knew his wife was a hooch.

so it depends, you have 31 years with her. another thing/side note. I personally believe a women only ever loves one man in their life time. I believe they are only capable of ever loving one man, now its very possible that who they married to previously they never really loved, but if they ever did love that man, they will never fully give their heart to anyone else in the future and will secretly always hold something back for their one true love. or rather true to them love. look at how many women are bitter and never get over divorce. I think most. So I guess what I am saying is after 31 years your wife will want to come back and will likely still love you. prepare yourself for that. BTW I know this sucks. I hope the campfire can make you fill better during this crappy time.

And never ever let the wife get you fire log in info.

Sometimes they tell everyone what you are really like.

Says the handle changing bitch.
We know its you calls4cum.