|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,283
Campfire Regular
|
Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,283 |
I've never once heard a parent take any responsibility for their kid's bad life choices. Enabling parents are just as bad as neglectful ones. It's just a different flavor of [bleep].
There's definitely outliers for sure, some people are just screwed up from the start. But you can't blame every druggy and criminal on a coin flip while the parents are saying "Aw gee wiz I don't know what could have gone wrong?"
Every stripper and porn star you've ever seen has had daddy issues. This [bleep] runs deep.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 17,832
Campfire Ranger
|
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 17,832 |
Aint gonna change until the kid is 100% on their own.
Shiddy childhood?..........seems like an excellent motivator to get out and be successful, or at the least self sufficient.
Sink of swim.
Last edited by hookeye; 02/26/23.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 9,192
Campfire Outfitter
|
|
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 9,192 |
Shiddy childhood?..........seems like an excellent motivator to get out and be successful, or at the least self sufficient.
Sink of swim. Exactamundo. It certainly was for me. Growing up in a split, alcoholic family with 3 brothers I had very few luxuries until I started working full time. Sink or swim is exactly right.
Proud NRA Life Member
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,841 Likes: 20
Campfire Savant
|
|
Campfire Savant
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,841 Likes: 20 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 17,831 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
|
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 17,831 Likes: 1 |
The wife's brothers both have alcoholic/drug addicted kids, both are in their mid 40's and show no sign of changing. Both are divorced and their Mom has two no good sons living with her. The drug addict girl got a large insurance settlement recently, she ran right to her drug dealer who beat her and took all the money. She wound up in the hospital in a coma for a period of time, out of the hospital she's right back to her drug addicted lifestyle. Sad part is that she has a daughter that's following her Mom's example. They all are smokers after watching their grandparents die miserable deaths from emphysema and lung cancer. There's no saving them from self destructive behavior unless they want to be saved. Trajedy is that they are destroying their own lives.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 5,491 Likes: 1
Campfire Tracker
|
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 5,491 Likes: 1 |
Neighbor said her and the deceased husband didn't drink or smoke, she took the son & daughter to church. Daughter is married works , has a family she & husband take care of their kids. Son > 180* opposite . Kinda an odd thing that makes one sibling go one direction and the other a complete 180. I have seen addicted kids completely tear good family’s apart. I have seen that a few times. Upstanding parents , two great kids , one gone bad. Parenting can be a factor but not always.
Life can be rough on us dreamers.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 14,963 Likes: 2
Campfire Outfitter
|
|
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 14,963 Likes: 2 |
I once knew this County Judge's son that had 13 DWIs before he
got sober. He is passed already.
--- CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE --- A Magic Time To Be An Illegal In America---
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,931 Likes: 3
Campfire 'Bwana
|
|
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,931 Likes: 3 |
Fruit rarely falls far from the tree. I’d guess nine times out of ten that’s true. Lots of examples given here of bad kids from good parents. I’ve seen good kids come from criminal/addict/dealer parents. Doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.
"...if the gentlemen of Virginia shall send us a dozen of their sons, we would take great care in their education, instruct them in all we know, and make men of them." Canasatego 1744
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 45,030 Likes: 26
Campfire 'Bwana
|
|
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 45,030 Likes: 26 |
Mom needs to kick him the fck out of the house. Moms don’t do that. Even though they should. They are notorious enablers. The addict kid knows just which buttons to push and is typically a master manipulator. Armed with a good heart and the best of intentions, mom assists him in ending his life. Pretty much ^ ^ ^ ^ this Enabling and making excuses is the cause of many of our ills today I have neighbors and relatives that do the very same thing. I talked with one elderly lady about her drug dealer/addict grandson. He's stolen from her, endangered her life by dealing from the house and from the thugs coming by at all hours and such. He's back in college right now, but I'm sure he'll be right back in there once they turn him loose. She declares that she loves him and that's her grandson and she wants to help him in any way she can. I told her that she's not helping any by enabling him and giving him beer and cigarette money and such. The family has booted him out several times, but of course she lets him come back every time. I told her that you can still love him and should, but he's not showing any love or appreciation for your love and kindness. Nothing really to be done as long as the family enables and makes excuses for him. I'm sure there's millions out there in exactly the same situation. All over the planet. In all aspects of life. Women enable....
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 78,306 Likes: 2
Campfire Oracle
|
|
Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 78,306 Likes: 2 |
Enabling parents are just as bad as neglectful ones. It's just a different flavor of [bleep]. This is it in a nutshell.First off they tolerate the behavior, next they enable it by continuing to tolerate. Cut the kid off and throw them out. If the tough love doesn't work, then its no longer your problem.
"...the left considers you vermin, and they'll kill you given the chance..." Bristoe
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,283
Campfire Regular
|
|
Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,283 |
Fruit rarely falls far from the tree. I’d guess nine times out of ten that’s true. Lots of examples given here of bad kids from good parents. I’ve seen good kids come from criminal/addict/dealer parents. Doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. It's easy to say someone you know peripherally is a good person/parent but you don't always know what's happening behind closed doors. What do they always say about serial killers? They seemed like such a normal person.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 3,046 Likes: 5
Campfire Tracker
|
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 3,046 Likes: 5 |
Fruit rarely falls far from the tree. I’d guess nine times out of ten that’s true. Lots of examples given here of bad kids from good parents. I’ve seen good kids come from criminal/addict/dealer parents. Doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. Your grouping of criminals, addicts and dealers in one bunch is telling. If you think that 90% of addicts come from “bad” families, then you are mistaken. NO group is immune. I’ll have to take your word for the criminals and dealers thing.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 10,989 Likes: 3
Campfire Outfitter
|
|
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 10,989 Likes: 3 |
Far more than will likely acknowledge it or is in denial of the problem. I suspect that we all have family (parents, siblings,children, ect.) with issues! Hell, I’ve got issues…..they’re just not drugs/alcohol! I believe spending a lot of time here is a form of addiction! memtb
Last edited by memtb; 02/26/23.
You should not use a rifle that will kill an animal when everything goes right; you should use one that will do the job when everything goes wrong." -Bob Hagel
“I’d like to be a good rifleman…..but, I prefer to be a good hunter”! memtb 2024
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 67,764 Likes: 5
Campfire Kahuna
|
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 67,764 Likes: 5 |
life is too short to let yourself be stuck with toxic family or friends. I will not/would not support or enable toxic people. Not my life, not my problem.
Sam......
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 3,046 Likes: 5
Campfire Tracker
|
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 3,046 Likes: 5 |
Shiddy childhood?..........seems like an excellent motivator to get out and be successful, or at the least self sufficient.
Sink of swim. Exactamundo. It certainly was for me. Growing up in a split, alcoholic family with 3 brothers I had very few luxuries until I started working full time. Sink or swim is exactly right. I agree. In the case of the addict, the enabling parent/friend/spouse/etc thinks: “He’ll die on his own.” All the while being blind to the fact that he’s dying right before their eyes. Real love is to refuse to participate in his deadly behavior. Real hard, too.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,931 Likes: 3
Campfire 'Bwana
|
|
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,931 Likes: 3 |
Fruit rarely falls far from the tree. Your grouping of criminals, addicts and dealers in one bunch is telling. If you think that 90% of addicts come from “bad” families, then you are mistaken. NO group is immune. I’ll have to take your word for the criminals and dealers thing. I guess I shoulda used “and/or”. I come from a good family, so does my brother, so does my cousin who’s more like a brother. They’re both reformed alcoholics and my cousin was a druggie too, had a major relapse up until about three years back. I’ve been teaching in a big city for thirty-plus years, I’ve seen lots of outcomes, good and bad, from all sorts of parents. But in most cases, when you meet the parents, that explains the kid and most of us grow up to be like our parents. We are all unique, just like everybody else 🙂
Last edited by Birdwatcher; 02/26/23.
"...if the gentlemen of Virginia shall send us a dozen of their sons, we would take great care in their education, instruct them in all we know, and make men of them." Canasatego 1744
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 156
Campfire Member
|
|
Campfire Member
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 156 |
WMR You are right,they think boys are the second coming
Last edited by buddy; 02/26/23.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2021
Posts: 3,552 Likes: 6
Campfire Tracker
|
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2021
Posts: 3,552 Likes: 6 |
My two weren't saints by any means, but neither one had a police record on their graduation day.
......and both of them are LEO's!!!! 😉👍
Okay, they may not build mansions or be millionaires, but they both have honest jobs and earn honest paychecks.
Neither one drink or smoke.
We may not have been "model" parents, but we feel like we did okay.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2021
Posts: 3,552 Likes: 6
Campfire Tracker
|
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2021
Posts: 3,552 Likes: 6 |
I had a kid go bad.
Had to cut her off. Tough love sucked but she sobered up soon after and is getting along quite well now. "Tough love" is a toss up. It will or won't work. If it works? GREAT! If it doesn't? It's kinda cruel, but sometimes you just gotta cut the apron strings!
|
|
|
|
|
226 members (10gaugemag, 1beaver_shooter, 24HourCampFireGuy50, 01Foreman400, 204guy, 257heaven, 37 invisible),
2,140
guests, and
1,008
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums81
Topics1,192,975
Posts18,499,471
Members73,984
| |
Most Online11,491
Jul 7th, 2023
|
|
|
|
