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That's a non sequitur.

Frisbee golf .

Gluten free

Lol, reminds me of the time my cousin was eyeing this gal with huge boobs at an artshow, his wife told him to stop starring at the chick with huge tits.

The gal with the huge boobs had a small rose on the inside of her left boob, a little while later my cousin found the face painting gal and paid her to paint a small rose on his right cheek.

Lol, we laff about it now but he said he wasn't sure if he was going to make it through the night.

Eco-friendly gas cans...🤬

Allen screws.

Glock.

IKEA furniture

Tow truck drivers might disagree.
It's a lot nicer to straddle the guardrail than to be standing on the Turnpike, in the dark,
putting gas in some Nitwit's car.


I'll try to one up you.

70's Chevy pickups. A tank and fill on both sides.

social media...

I wholeheartedly agree.

My wife has Celiac disease, she was diagnosed about 20 years ago. You couldn’t hardly find any gluten free stuff then. It is a lot better now. So you see there is a reason for someone to want gluten free!

Credit Card gas pumps and “touch screens” . Damn them straight to hell!!!

If you run outta gas on the turnpike... How damn dumb to you hafta be?
Holy smokes, Darwin Awards have been given out for less!
The Chevy Truck thing was a setup. I believe it was CBS that was doing a story on that , around about 1973 or ‘74.
As hard as they tried, the damn things wouldn’t ignite!
So they rigged them to go up!
I’m not gonna get into the Pintos, but I know a few people who learned a clutch from driving them!
I wasn’t me! I learned on a damned old Chevy Biscayne with 3 on the tree!
7mm

New Coke.

Sugar free gummy bears:
Customer Review Luke
1.0 out of 5 stars See you in hell, Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on June 5, 2015
Flavor Name: Goldbears

It was my last class of the semester, and the final exam was worth 30% of our grade.
After a late night study session I felt confident, but I had to decide between sleeping in or cooking breakfast. My eyelids chose sleep.
My stomach later regretted this decision, and after several uncomfortable stomach growls, I finally decided to make a quick stop by the campus bookstore and grab a snack before my test. Since the semester was ending and everyone was going home for the summer, a lot of items were on sale, including the snacks and candy that they kept up front. Being in the hungry state that I was in, it felt only logical to pick the largest, yet least expensive candy in order to get more bang for my buck.
And there they sat: two bags of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears, buy one get one free.
"What a deal!" I thought naïvely. I would eat one bag before my test, and one bag afterwards.

As I walked to class, I gleefully chewed on those abominable little bastards, unaware of the utter mayhem that they would soon unleash upon my poor, poor anus.
I sat down at my desk as the professor informed us that, due to issues with cheating in the past, restroom breaks would be prohibited until the completion of the exam.
"I'll give you 10 minutes to use the restroom now; this will be your last chance. Any takers?"
The demon bears hadn't released their unholy necromancy upon my stomach yet, so in my moment of ignorant foolishness, I remained seated, still munching on those miniature bear-shaped bombs.

After the students wise enough to take the professor's offer had returned, the professor handed out the test. I was six questions in when it happened.
It started subtly at first, almost like a slight tingly sensation in my lower abdomen. I thought nothing of it, assuming my intestines were just doing their thang. Little did I know that my intestines were trying desperately to warn me of the horror that was on the horizon.
By question 9 it happened again, but this time it was followed by a sharp pain, as if those infernal hellions had orchestrated an attack upon my colon. I fought to contain the groan that tried escaping my lips. It was at this point I began to panic; something was going horribly long, and I needed to get through this test before it got any worse.

By question 14 my worst fear was upon me; the Satan bears' burning, hot, liquidy dark magic crashed against my anal sphincter like a tidal wave. I was able to close the hatch just in time, but those relentless, toxic bears beat against it like Orcs breaking down the doors of Helm's Deep. I knew I wouldn't be able to so much as shift in my seat without risking a breach.
I kept fighting through my exam, clenching my cheeks with all my might. Beads of sweat began rolling down my neck. Suddenly, a loud, gurgling war cry came from my belly, and the entire class lifted their heads.

At this point, nothing mattered except expelling this ungodly presence from my bowels. With 15 questions left, I promptly wrote C for every answer and ran out of the classroom. My professor yelled something, but I was too preoccupied with the volcanic eruption that needed to take place before I could find sweet, sweet relief.
I burst into the restroom like the Kool-Aid man and, behold, the handicap stall was empty. Sun rays from the adjacent window shone upon it, as if it were a gift from God himself. It took me less than .5 seconds to undo my belt buckle, pull down my pants, and finally relax my weary buttocks upon the toilet seat.

It took absolutely no effort to expel this demon. Almost immediately, the floodgates of hell were opened and the damned, liquified souls of an entire bag's worth of gummi bears cried as they burned through my sphincter and into the watery abyss below. I had never felt such simultaneous relief and anguish in my life.
After 30 more minutes of this, I immediately went home, dug a hole in my backyard, and burned the remaining bag of gummi bears.

I leave with this; do not, I repeat do NOT eat these spawns of Satan. Not only did they cause me to fail my final test, but the anguish I experienced is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. The only place these god forsaken hell bears belong are buried deep below the Earth's surface.

Been there many times, probably the worst is while driving home praying that you don't flood the car.

Sorbitol and xylitol artificial sweeteners will do that to you!

Abortion!

I hauled fuel for the folks who had the towing from Carlisle to the Allegheny Tunnel.
You wouldn't believe the stories some of those guys had.
Especially Barry, he worked 3rd shift for 30 years, running the Big Hook.


The Turnpike had a rule that the Tow company had to take 3 gallons of gas
out and put it in, even if the customer couldn't pay.
One night he gets a radio call, an out of gas.
Guy couldn't pay. Up by New Baltimore.

"Man, I ain't got no money."

Barry gives him gas and tells him he better find some money.
"If your 3 gallons runs out in the next 100 miles, our company will be who gets
called. We will NOT bail you out again."

POS went into the Midway and bought gas. He knew the rule and had planned
on scamming his way across the state.


Or the one who was traveling from DC to Michigan, lost an alternator and
didn't have the $150 to replace it. Sat for days until some preacher from
down east showed up with an alternator and some cash.

If they towed a breakdown off the Pike, the toll had to be paid getting off.
Wasn't uncommon for the customer to not have the money to pay the toll.
So there they sat, hooked up, going through the process of getting an document
filled out promising to mail it in. Lotta folks used to be stuck there unable to
pay. Even truck drivers. Trucks couldn't leave until the paid.

The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several States, and without regard to any census or enumeration.

Biggest scam in history. Maybe the root of most evils.