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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,282 Likes: 37
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,282 Likes: 37 |
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli,"whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy." -Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." -Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second . . . if there is one." -Winston Churchill, in response
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts . . . for support rather than illumination." -Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it." -Groucho Marx
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 10,115 Likes: 16
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 10,115 Likes: 16 |
"You appear to be an unwashed fellator with Oedipal tendencies and canine ancestry!"
I used that one regularly when referring to several of my ghetto students. Few, if any, were able to translate.
Ignorance can be fixed. Stupid is forever!
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 46,386 Likes: 19
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 46,386 Likes: 19 |
"I bet you're the kind of guy who could get a complete physical examination by a proctologist."
A wise man is frequently humbled.
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 11,279 Likes: 2
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 11,279 Likes: 2 |
Gun Shows are almost as comical as boat ramps in the Spring.
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,616 Likes: 7
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,616 Likes: 7 |
Winston Churchill and Mark Twain were masters at the insult craft.
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,201
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,201 |
What can I say about your wife that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan?
TRUMP- GABBARD 2024
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 6,566
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 6,566 |
Winston Churchill and Mark Twain were masters at the insult craft. Churchill and Lady Astor hated one another, but being aristocrats they attended most of the same functions. At one gathering Lady Astor looked at Churchill and said, "If I were married to you, I would give you poison." Winston looked at her and said, "If I were married to you, I would drink it."
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Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 17,665 Likes: 52
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 17,665 Likes: 52 |
It astounds me how you contrive to get yourself in the company of women such as she when most would beg impotency!
-OMotS
"If memory serves fails me..." Quote: ( unnamed) "been prtty deep in the cooler todaay " Television and radio are most effective when people question little and think even less.
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 211
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 211 |
Bessie Braddock MP: “Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk.”
WSC: “Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.”
Presidents come and go, but entitlements are forever - Michael Medved
Our forefathers would be shooting by now
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 50,688 Likes: 4
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 50,688 Likes: 4 |
Describing a black hooker's gold tooth: Bawdy dogstar in the ordurous jaw of Fellatio Major. Cormac McCarthy
Mark Begich, Joaquin Jackson, and Heller resistance... Three huge reasons to worry about the NRA.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 702 Likes: 2
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 702 Likes: 2 |
I refuse to discuss it with you. I will not get in a duel of wits with an unarmed man. RB
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 6,743 Likes: 4
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 6,743 Likes: 4 |
You are nowhere near as bad as they all say.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 13,474 Likes: 9
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 13,474 Likes: 9 |
During a studio "wrap party," on the completion of photography of A Bill of Divorcement,, 1932, the co star, Kathrine Hepburn walked up to the star, John Barrymore, who was savoring a few cocktails and said, "Mr. Barrymore, I want you to know I am very happy I shall never have to act with you again." Barrymore took a drink, looked at her and said, "My dear, I didn't know you ever had." L.W.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." (William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830s.)
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Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 6,452 Likes: 11
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 6,452 Likes: 11 |
You can insult the hell out of someone and get away with it if you give em a big smile after you say it. I had an old boss that was a master of that craft.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
3-7-77
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,892 Likes: 2
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,892 Likes: 2 |
My wife likes to watch The Weakest Link. They have some good insults that are worth remembering.
In case of a water landing, who's here that we can use their head as a floatation device... 😁
My favorite one that I used on engineers, the college you attended owes your parents a rebate on your tuition. 😛
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,924
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,924 |
If I’m having a bad day. Ambrose Bierce’s writings always bring me back……..
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Joined: Aug 2023
Posts: 2,021 Likes: 9
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Aug 2023
Posts: 2,021 Likes: 9 |
Look, Skippy, I do not have enough patience, or enough crayons, to draw enough pictures to adequately explain this to you......
I prefer peace. But if trouble must come, let it come in my time, so that my children may live in peace. ~~ Thomas Paine
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 32,260 Likes: 9
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 32,260 Likes: 9 |
I'm not very good at it. Best I can do is GFY. Succinct tho.
The only true cost of having a dog is its death.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,282 Likes: 37
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,282 Likes: 37 |
If I’m having a bad day. Ambrose Bierce’s writings always bring me back…….. One of my favorite writers!
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 702 Likes: 2
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 702 Likes: 2 |
I'm not very good at it. Best I can do is GFY. Succinct tho. Aye, and you've yet to learn that you could practice silence and leave folk wondering about your ignorance, but you insist on confirming it. RB
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