Hello 24 Hour Campfire,
I am not at all at home here but it has come to my attention through a family channel that the man you all know as "Roy" (aka Fireball2) has been spinning quite the narrative for all of you. Normally I would not spend the time indulging the fantasy but after reading some of this I honestly cannot believe what I'm seeing. Truly the delusions of a man that has been spiraling for some time and has frankly reached the point I no longer recognize him.
First I guess an introduction is in order. I am the older sister he's shared so much about. As I said this is not a domain I naturally find myself in and as pathetic and disappointing as these falsehoods are I feel, for whatever reason, compelled to set the record straight. I will address the lies individually below, but first I think maybe some background is in order.
Reality is quite different from what has been put forth thus far. I assume many of you may have deduced this if you've spent any appreciable amount of time around my brother (virtual or not).
My brother is profoundly mentally ill. He was diagnosed in his early teens with bipolar disorder and has displayed wild swings and manic behavior with increasing intensity as he has gotten older. He is completely unmedicated and has not (to my knowledge) been under the care of a professional in many, many years. His personal relationships with family and friends have pretty much all degraded to the point they are beyond the point they can be salvaged. He is in his third marriage which has been failing for years. He has attempted suicide at least once that we know of. He claims Devine intervention in the form or mechanical failure in the firearm he was using. Fact is he was in such an altered state he was unable to function.
Our mother has been in a declining physical and mental state for several years. The mental degradation has really started to accelerate over the past 18 months and the fact is she is slipping to dementia. She is currently in a nursing facility and as a family (less brother) we would like to see her transition into a memory care facility for her own safety and specialized care it will provide. One guess as to the reasoning behind the dissenting opinion.
When our father was still with us all three siblings shared joint power of attorney. At some point during the aftermath of his passing our mother was coerced into consolidating all medical and financial power of attorney responsibilities to one sibling. Can any of you guess whom that would be? And thus started a slow trickle that turned into a flood. A flood that burst over the spillway. The slow motion disaster you are all now witness to.
I will summarize before taking on allegations point by point. My brother is not well. My brother has become such a master of manipulation and deception that he no longer knows what is reality, he is that invested in his twisting of the world to suit his agenda and self image. In the end this has become solely about money (meager as the estate will be) and power dynamics. It has torn apart a family. It has negatively impacted a mothers life and perception of the world around her as she struggles to retain her mental acuity. Real hero stuff.
Just when you think you know them, they never seem to tire of being a disappointment.
Oldest sister abused my invalid mother and the other sister a flaming alcoholic. I'm the youngest and here I am, taking care of mom while these two children of the 70's continue to fucque up everything they touch.
Jeezus, I'd hate to live in their skin. Screw that. How could you not love this woman?
I'd fight a grizzly bear for this woman. Love her dearly. When this is all over with, I'll be the bad guy, guaranteed. Don't care.
30 years ago your disappointment may have meant something to myself or our sister - those days are long gone. Can you imagine the disappoint WE feel in our brother?
The abuse alleged - the result of our mother falling in home repeatedly as she walks with a staggering gait which is an issue in a home with multiple rugs, shag carpet, and 'vintage' bathroom facilities. The evidence? Heavy bruising (to be expected after falling in your 80's...) and a reluctance to discuss the circumstances with her son that does not miss an opportunity to go off half cocked. She knows this. She has weathered the wild swings in emotion, the delusions of persecution, the delusional self righteousness for DECADES.
Well, this was the opening he had been waiting for to pull our mother from her town of many years, sell the home we grew up in to "fund care", and isolate our mother from the rest of her family. The original intent was to keep our mother in his own home. This quickly became tedious and she was placed in a LOVELY nursing facility. Quite the oxymoron. Good old 'Roy', he'd fight a grizzly for her - as long as it didn't interfere with recreation time. Or nap time. Or a midmorning snack.
Bad guy? No. Not my little brother. Never.
Family needs to get their collective heads out of their asses and do what's right.
Our heads are clear, we refuse to indulge your fantasy or placate your fragile emotional state any longer. Our one wish is to have our mother safe and happy for the remainder or her time on earth. This is now in doubt. Who did that? Who needs to remove their head from their upper colon?
Nobody deserves this, especially an Elder. She looks real sweet.
Strong woman, the glue of the family. But, you know what the 70's was all about right? REBEL, REBEL, REBEL. Sisters have been nothing but a disappointment for 60+ years.
On this we agree, our mother is a strong woman. She was the glue that held the family together for many, many years despite the CONSTANT prying force that was her son. It really does break my heart that she has never been able to quit you. Lord knows you haven't earned her steadfast support and devotion, but that really is a testament to what a devoted mother she is.
I told myself going into this that I would stay above it all and take the high road but as I sit here and write I'm overcome with "I don't give a F anymore". You want to talk rebellion and disappointment 'Roy'? Next time you find yourself trying to sleep and quiet your thoughts think about the disappointment out father must have felt in you the months before he died. Then understand you're feeling but a drop of water in the ocean compared to what he went through.
Do it without bitching and forget about your sisters that's a losing proposition.
They force me to make a stand against them and protect mom. That's why I'll end up the bad guy.
Delusional narrative. Completely isolating your mother and attempting to create a state of total dependency is why you ARE, truly, the bad guy in this story of your own making.
Roy, your mom looks like a wonderful person. That’s where you get it from!! We don’t live very long. Alan
Thanks Alan, she is! What righteously pisses me off is that while my sisters were busy screwing up theirs and everyone's life they touched, mom was busy taking care of their kids! Now those ungrateful little bastards don't even stay in touch with the grandma that literally sacrificed everything for them.
This story isn't unique to mom, lots of modern grandparents did the same thing.
My mother did support and care for my children while I went through a tumultuous divorce. She knows that it was the single greatest gift she has ever given me and will never be forgotten. Her grandchildren love her. They also live out of state. It also became an impossibility for them to stay in touch when you uprooted their grandmother, cancelled her cell phone plan and provided her with a track phone while withholding the number from any of her family and failing to put any of theirs and our contact information in the new device. Can we say calculating and manipulative? Oh, it was impossible to send cards to the care facility you parked her in without anyone else's knowledge for MONTHS.
What an amazing lack of self awareness to bring our children into this. How much have you shared with the class regarding the current state of your blended family? Anything you can think of off the top of your head? How is the youngest anyway?
As to the allusions of my sister and I running and hiding from the wrath of Roy, well, don't believe everything you read folks. We are easily found and my phones is always on. Pending legal action precludes me from disclosing details of our mother's future, things will be changing and I'll leave it at that.
To all the folks that have endured this airing of dirty laundry regarding the Fireball2 extended family issues I thank you and I apologize you've been thrust into the middle of it. I hope you all take this for what it is. As they say, you really don't know who is on the the other side of the screen on the internet. If you take nothing else from all this let me impress upon you one last time - with 'Roy' you really don't.
No doubt "Fireball2" will pen a scathing reply tomorrow when he wakes up sometime after 9:00 (has he ever told you about the long weeks he puts in at work?) Know that I will not be reading it Roy. You have my number. You know where to find me. I don't think we're in any danger of you becoming a man anytime in your 6th (OR 7th) decade here on this earth though.
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