Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunting Rifles BS

Several years ago a bunch of us were sitting around the feed store heater gassing when the local expert walks in and starts P&M ing about missing a big buck. Swears up and down that there is something wrong with the shells he bought at Wally World because his rifle is the best in the world and he can shoot better than anybody around. He can't really shoot for sour apples but you know the type.
Roger asks him what shells he's shooting. He hands him one and Rog looks it over real serious. Tells him to go get the box. Comes back with a partial box from his pickup. Rog looks this over real serious and finally points to the lot number and tells him to look there.
See that L there, Rog says, that means left hand twist and your rifle has a right hand twist. They sold you the wrong shells.
Guy starts cussing the clerk that sold him the shells and takes off to Wally World to get it straightened out.

We managed to keep from laughing until he got outside.

BCR

Mauser96,

That guy you are talking about has no business in the woods. I'm sure the buzzards are fat and happy around there. My guess that even with a crappy shooter, 56 shots taken equals at least half a dozen wounded deer.

I was told by an avid bow hunter handgun hunting should not be allowed because handguns aren't powerful enough to kill a deer. I asked him if he really believed a bullet from a .44 mag wouldn't kill a deer as fast if not faster than an arrow if both properly hit the kill zone and he said yes he did. Who can argue with that? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

7mmSAUM,
I agree with you 100%.

Dave, I know several bow hunters that believe that a good broadhead is the the only way a deer should be harvested in humane manner. No arguing whatsoever.

I actually feel more comfortable shooting a deer with my bow than I do with my Scoped 44 Mag Redhawk. Not that I question the power of a 44, but I'm much more accurate with a bow.

Shot's in the vitals at short ranges with either weapon listed would dispatch deer quickly and humanely. I suspect many gun only hunters would be shocked by how quickly deer can be killed with an arrow and good broadhead.

Of course there are plenty of hack archers taking 80 yards shots at deer like the gun shooter firing 56 rounds at deer at 500 yards..........................giving very bad names to hunters and doing their quarry a severe injustince.

I work in the hunting department of a store here, have been in the biz for a couple of decades, here is one of my favorites from the 1990's(not quite bs, but still funny)...

Customer walks up to the counter and says hi. We wask him how we can help. He says" Im goin deer huntin, I need some deer bullets.

Ok, what kind did you need?

"You know, deer bullets..."

Sir, what kind of deer bullets?

"You know...deer bullets.."

Umm, what caliber sir, 270, 30-06, 30-30?

"Whatever you got, whatever will work, whatevers handy..."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Those are the guys you want to ask where they are hunting so you wont be there <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


Jeff

Boggy
left hand twist.... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />...thats the best one I've heard in a while.... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Charlie

One of the gun clubs I belong to has raised shooting points. The concrete is aprox 3' higher than ground level. While I was shooting one day last year, one of the oldtimers stopped by to chat. He asked me why I thought they had raised the pad up so high. Before I could say anything, he went on to explain how a bullet drops the minute it leaves the barrel, when it picks up more speed it will raise back up. If it weren't for the benches being so high, the bullets would hit the ground. Scarry, cause this old boy is on the board of directors <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Used to work with this one guy who thought he was the King of it All. I was talking about shooting one day and he said he used to shoot pistols. He bragged about how he could shot a smiley face into a target at 100 yards with his pistol. I figgured he must have been shooting a scoped T/C. Nope, according to him he was shooting a Winchester 9mm. Whoda' thunk?

What??!!?? & you can't ? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I've been lurking and busting a gut with this thread, but I couldn't resist any more. Having spent a couple of years in Michigan as a "Counter Monkey" myself, I've seen quite a bit of what has been told about here. During deer season one year we had one gentleman walk in wanting to look at a Ruger Red Label O/U. I showed him one and he spent the next few minutes swinging it around and bringing it up to his shoulder. Then he looks at me and says, "How much to put a scope on it? (Southern Michigan is shotgun only)
Another gentleman bought a used Winchester Model 94 from us and immediately took it onto our range to sight it in. 15 Minutes later he comes back mad as a hornet, "This piece of $h!t won't even hit the paper!" Upon closer inspection, it was revealed that the rifle was a .32 Win Spl. and he was firing .30-30 ammo through it.
In keeping with the "BS" topic, and understanding that in Michigan, one yard equals 14 inches, I had a man tell me with a straight face that he shot a 6 pt buck at 700 yards (offhand)with his 7mm Rem Mag. He loved his magnum because even though he aimed for the heart/lung area, it hit the deer in the spine which, to him, meant that "There was plenty of umph left to go even farther" <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> The amount of people that make these astounding shots is staggering! Another gentleman came in and told us that he'd shot a 4 pt buck at 300 yards with his .35 Rem. He held "dead on" and it dropped like a stone. One of the guys that was with him (a competitive rifle shooter) said he saw where the guy was standing and where the deer was laying and guessed the range at about 100 yards.

A former co-worker could be aroused to fits of frenzied fibbing at the drop of a hat. We refered to it as "Paul-baiting" and we had bets as to who could get him to tell the biggest stretch the fastest. ANY story told resulted in oneupmanship and the bigger the story the bigger the BS from Paul.

On one occasion he claimed to have been deer hunting near Juneau and his partner started coming down with botulism from eating raw deer meat... and he could tell he was coming down with it himself, so he swam the Gastineau Channel, in November, then hiked 12 miles to get help.

His friend would have died if he had not risked everything by making the trip.

But the funny parts were that he was getting hypothermic when he got out of the water, so he shot a deer and gutted it, so he could climb inside the deer for warmth... while he is not particularly big, neither are the deer around Juneau...

There is some pretty intense country within 12 miles South of Juneau... don't think I would be man enough to try it! Let alone swimming the Gastineau Channel in winter... with his rifle! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
art

One night my brother-in-law told me that I should get a 7 mag. I asked him why and he replied that he had just got one and at four hundred yards you just aim dead on. I asked him how high it was at a hundred and he replied that he didn't know. He just had them bore sight it and took it hunting.
Another guy that I did work with bought a new 25-06. He said that he sighted it in at a thousand yards. I called bs and he got pretty mad, but never changed his story. miles

I gotta get in on this one because I work with a few of theese "experts".
One of them was bragging about making a 400yrd shot "right between the eyes" of a ground grizz with his 243. I asked "how far over did you have to hold?" His reply "dead on". My next question " How high does it hit at 100 yards?". (yall know its commin, don't ya) His answer " dead on".
I'm truly blessed boys, I get to work with no less than 3 of theese experts. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> One of them has only shot but 1 deer at less than 100 yards, all the rest have been over 300. Here in W.V I've only shot 2 deer over 100 yards, 120ish being the farest, and only seen a handful over 200 during the season.
Afew years ago, before any of us had a rangefinder, we were watching deer across the interstate behind our shop ( in city limits) and trying to guess the range. Mine was the most conservative estimate and I was overestimating by more than 100yrds. Proven later by 2 laser rangefinders.
All three of my pros went to a range I hadn't been too and came back talking about it being a 300 yard range. I and my best hunting/shooting/gun nut pard were excited about going. We had never got to shoot that far at an actual range. We still haven't. It's only a 200 yard range. And they miss guessed that one over flat ground. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />
Boy am I lucky to get to work with such pro's! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I almost forgot, worked with another fellar that regularly shoots deer offhand at 400 yards. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
A few weeks ago while in a local gunshop, overheard a man complaing that his accuracy had went to he1!. Said that he used to have no problem shooting all his shots into a group like this, while he held his hands to show about a ten inch circle. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> I would hate to see his groups now! But at least I tend to belive him. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

art, I know the type well. I had a friend, gone to his reward now, who was the identical twin of your co-worker.
Just one story out of hundreds and it doesn't involve hunting so forgive me. Mil wasn't a hunter.

He got intrested in race horses and bought one. First race his horse was in the old thing came in dead last. But, he said, a fellow told him that he saw definite posibilites in the horse and Mil needed to pay him, the commentator, to train his horse.

Payed the guy something like $200 a month to train his race horse. After two months ran another race and finished next to last.

Mil told us that the trainer had really speeded his horse up. When he started the horse ran 30 miles per hour and was now running at 35.

Make a long story short by the time Mil ran out of money for the trainer even though the horse still hadn't won a race he had him up to running 67 mph. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


BCR

After a kids program and a great meal at church one evening, several of us fathers/hunters slipped outside to get a chew, smoke, and pass some hot air (out both ends). Archery deer season was fast approaching so the conversation started there, then gradualy progressed to what would you like to hunt with a bow and arrow, if you could? We took turns dreaming up our choices, each man trying to out do the last mans choice. Starting w/ whitetails, antelope, etc. we progressed to grizzlys, leopards, alligators, etc. It got pretty far out, the B.S. got deep, even for a bunch of us Ky. rednecks . Someone noticed "George" had dropped out when we got to the dangerous type game. George was an excellent archer, hunter, all around sportsman,in spite of being wheelchair bound from a war wound.(Vietnam). Someone said what you want to hunt George, Kodiak bear or maybe Cougar? " Nope, I don't hunt meat eaters"! Why not George? "If they don't fall dead in thier tracks, they might want to get even, can you see me tryin' to retreat and get off another shot out of this wheelchair, I don't hunt nothing that eats meat." He brought the B.S to a halt right quick With a real good laugh <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> That was "George", dry wit, perfect timing and didn't hurt anybodys feelings. .......joken2

I once went hunting with one of my wife's friend's husbunds, I asked what he was shooting he replied 7mm mag, if I can see it I can kill it, it only drops 15 inches in 1000 yards. I then asked him if he had it sighted dead on at 950 yards. He rolled his eyes at me. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


don't hate me because I'm beutiful

I have to relate a story about a guy I WISH was my best friend...
Now this is a Texas tale, so it starts out "Now this ain' no $hit..."
This guy (the one I DO know) was hanging out in the local gunshop, in south Texas, when this rancher-type walks in - complete with two-foot-square belt buckle, and $1000 silver belly hat. He walks up to the counter and says to the clerk:
"I need some ammunition, It's almost deer season."
The clerk responds:
"Yes, sir!... What caliber?"
Then the guy says:
"Better gimme some of all of it, We got all kinds of guns out at the ranch."

The guy that told me this swears it is a true story. Said when they got through stacking up ammo (they spread it out on the counter, so it wouldn't break the glass top) the total was near a thousand dollars. Said the rancher-type then asked if they would take a credit card, as he "had a bit more shopping to do, and didn't want to 'Run low on cash'". <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

That's the kind of man I NEED as a best friend!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />