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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795 |
Seriously considering divorce. Married 3 years, no kids, minimal mortgage, we both work, I already make her car payment (it's in my name, bought it as a gift). We own a house together for the last 4 years. No joint checking account. This is in PA.
Anyone been there, done that? What's this like? Mom and dad are Ward and June Cleaver so I really have no frame of reference on the matter.
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 61,130
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 61,130 |
Dude, you need some SERIOUS psychological help.
Given your stream of posts, you're in trouble, deep, and you need more help than you can get on line.
Get off the computer and get onto a psychiatrists couch.
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,639
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,639 |
I'll make it three... Get help before you decide something like this... You may regret it..
Speak softly and use a big bore... Where's El Cid when we need him...
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795 |
Thanks, working on that...But beyond that, tell me about divorce and how it works. This is not the first time I've considered it. Clearer heads will prevail this time.
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795 |
I'll make it three... Get help before you decide something like this... You may regret it.. I don't plan, man...I just do things.
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 44,856 Likes: 3
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 44,856 Likes: 3 |
I don't plan, man...I just do things. This could be a large part of the problem.
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 18,345 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 18,345 Likes: 1 |
Carpe' Scrotum
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795 |
I guess no one here has been divorced before?
Come on, I really need some advice. Wikipedia ain't my friend on this one.
Real-world Perspective. That's what I'm seeking.
I'm not asking you to tell me to get divorced or not to get divorced...Just want to know what the process is, how it works.
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 61,130
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 61,130 |
Get some help first.
I've been divorced, as have many others.
But seriously, dude, you're totally [bleep] in the head right now. You don't need to be thinking about a divorce. You DO need to be thinking about getting some help and getting your head straightened out.
Think about it.
You post up earlier that you're having suicidal thoughts. You post that you see/saw a couple of serial killers as "fighting the good fight". Your avatar and signature line are from a psychopath in a very dark movie (those things do say much about us, like it or not).
You're sick. You need help.
Get the hell off the internet and get some help.
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,118
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,118 |
In a nutshell, its to be avoided at all costs, used as a VERY last resort. Nothing ever comes good of one, hurt on both sides, a no win situation. Put it out of your mind and do as many have told you - seek professional help first and foremost. When you become stable, and clearer thinking has become the norm, then and only then would be the time to contemplate such a decision.
You've been given good advice by many, take it and put aside all talk of divorce until you get back on track with your mental issues.
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795 |
Well, I'm chained like a slave to my computer for 10 hours a day to make the money that makes this wonderful life all possible.
Tomorrow, I'm off to see the Wizard, to get some magic dust and a recommendation of who to get some couch time with.
I'm working on the help thing. The help I need that you can give me, is to tell me how you feel about the legal and emotional aspects of ending a marriage.
Not trying to be a prick...Just get some advice.
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 61,130
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 61,130 |
Well, I'm chained like a slave to my computer for 10 hours a day to make the money that makes this wonderful life all possible.
Tomorrow, I'm off to see the Wizard, to get some magic dust and a recommendation of who to get some couch time with.
I'm working on the help thing. The help I need that you can give me, is to tell me how you feel about the legal and emotional aspects of ending a marriage.
Not trying to be a prick...Just get some advice. You've gotten the advice, I suspect, that you're gonna get. That you don't like it, or it isn't exactly what you're looking for, well............ But, you got the advice you likely need right now.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,501
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,501 |
If you are really serious about learning how divorce works in PA, call your county bar association and get the name of a good divorce attorney. Then spend whatever they charge for a first visit and have them walk you through the process and provide you with some recommendations on how to deal with the matter. Asking a bunch of folks you don't know for legal advice is not a wise thing to do.
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795 |
In a nutshell, its to be avoided at all costs, used as a VERY last resort. Nothing ever comes good of one, hurt on both sides, a no win situation. Put it out of your mind and do as many have told you - seek professional help first and foremost. When you become stable, and clearer thinking has become the norm, then and only then would be the time to contemplate such a decision.
You've been given good advice by many, take it and put aside all talk of divorce until you get back on track with your mental issues. /\--- This is what I'm looking for! How can there be hurt on both sides when one is struggling to try to survive the marriage as it is?
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795 |
If you are really serious about learning how divorce works in PA, call your county bar association and get the name of a good divorce attorney. Then spend whatever they charge for a first visit and have them walk you through the process and provide you with some recommendations on how to deal with the matter. Asking a bunch of folks you don't know for legal advice is not a wise thing to do. More excellent advice. I will do that first thing tomorrow. I appreciate it. I'm just curious how other folks went about it and how it turned out, as well.
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,118
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,118 |
The legal aspects - they always cost ALOT of money, nobody wins but the attorneys.
The emotional aspects are the same, you'll both come away hurt and torn.
The advice - drop the divorce issue completely until your life is back in order. This is the only fair and rational thing for you and your wife. If you decide to go ahead and not heed this advice, I can almost promise you that you'll regret it down the road. Please put it out of your mind and seek the help you need.
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795 |
I suppose it's my own fault everyone here thinks I'm a freak.
I haven't exactly been the man that I could be lately.
I apologize for the consternation I've caused, and thank you for the advice you have offered.
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,795 |
The legal aspects - they always cost ALOT of money, nobody wins but the attorneys.
The emotional aspects are the same, you'll both come away hurt and torn.
The advice - drop the divorce issue completely until your life is back in order. This is the only fair and rational thing for you and your wife. If you decide to go ahead and not heed this advice, I can almost promise you that you'll regret it down the road. Please put it out of your mind and seek the help you need. At this point, just exploring my options. I emailed the Bar Association so we'll wait to see what I hear from them. Exciting times we live in.
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 46,745
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 46,745 |
Having no kids I would think would move things along alot smoother and probably with out the bitterness.
My parents and my wifes parents are divorced. To tell you the truth neither side used the kids as pawns like you see so much today.
Looking back, I can't see how my parents were ever married in the first place. They are so different it would make your head spin.
It worked out better for all involved I think. Both are re-married and happy.
Camp is where you make it.
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