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#3447434 - 11/03/09 If someone threatens your child?
prairie dog shooter Offline
Campfire Outfitter

Registered: 01/25/01
Posts: 8346
Loc: Texas
This is not a hypothetical question.

The parent of a school bully has threatened my eleven-year-old son.

There have been two incidents with this kid. My son was struck and jabbed with a pencil. He was sent to see the school nurse about the injuries. The nurse called us. My son did not fight back; he got away from the kid and reported it to the assistant principal. My wife and I addressed this with the school principal. The kid and his mother denied everything. The bully was not punished because he and his mother stood fast on their denial.

The principal told my wife and I that she was convinced they were lying. Her answer was to move that kid into another class away from my son and to warn the mother and her son that “if he so much as touched another student” he would be sent to an alternative placement campus. As you can guess, that had no effect and before they got around to moving the kid he threw a pencil at my son. The teacher saw it, addressed and reported it. The kid gets moved.

On Friday, this kids mother comes to school during lunch, seeks out my son in the school caffiteria, and threatens him. My son immediately reported it to the assistant principal who was on duty and present when this happened. When my wife and I spoke to her that afternoon she told us that the principal was going to handle this one and would be back on campus Tuesday.

Monday evening our son had to perform in a school concert. He did not want us to leave his sight because he was “afraid that lady might come up to me again”.

I saw the woman was at the concert so I stayed where my son could see me. After the concert I spoke to the woman. I introduced myself as the father of the little boy she had threatened and told her not to approach or speak to my son. She didn’t have a clue who I was before I told her. There were plenty of adults standing there while this was taking place. (The boy’s Father is deceased and there is no male in that household or I would have been talking to him instead of the mother.)

Her reaction was exactly what I expected, initial denial, and then admitting it and trying to justify her behavior. That was the reason I decided to speak to her in the presence of others. As I expected, she flew off the handle and became vulgar as we left.

I called the police to file a complaint. The officer came out and took our statements but told us nothing could be done other than file a report. We are pursuing action through the school system but I know that will not solve the problem.

Now don’t misunderstand guys, I know exactly what has to be done to handle a bully. My son is capable of putting this kid down when the time comes for that. I will protect my son from this crazy woman.
What I need to know is; what other actions should a reasonable and prudent person take before this situation has to be dealt with? What does it take to have a restraining order put against this woman to keep her from having contact with my child? Are there any measures I can or should pursue through the legal system before this gets where I am afraid it is heading?

What would you do in my situation?
_________________________
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
Edmund Burke 1795

"Give me liberty or give me death"
Patrick Henry 1775

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#3447453 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: prairie dog shooter]
ltppowell Online   content
Campfire Oracle

Registered: 10/12/04
Posts: 35005
Loc: SE Texas
A "restraining order" is very difficult to obtain in Texas when it doesn't involve family violence. If the other kid is older than ten, criminal charges can be sought. The most important thing to remember in your particular situation is that the school is RESPONSIBLE for your childs safety when he is there. A simple call, or letter (even better) to the principal, CC'd to the school board from an attorney will probably fix your problem.
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If anything is certain, it is that I myself am not a Marxist.

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#3447458 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: prairie dog shooter]
LeonHitchcox Online   content
Campfire Guide

Registered: 05/16/05
Posts: 4123
Loc: Pikeville, TN
First off, the school has an obligation to keep that woman away from your son. How she got into the position to be in the school and threaten him is something I would like to know.

You have taken the right steps by notifying the school that she was trying to threaten and intimidate you son on their watch and by your notifying the police. Now you have a paper trail. If anything else happens, you have her in a very damaging position.

Stay in touch with school officials and see what followup has been taken. If they don't protect your son, they are a position to be held liable.

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#3447463 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: prairie dog shooter]
Redneck Offline
Campfire Oracle

Registered: 01/28/01
Posts: 40330
Loc: WI. - for now..
First off, you've done well so far.. Having that little episode where others can (and did) hear was stellar.. Now you got witnesses.

You can try for a restraining order but they're usually about as worthless as Obama.. Since the mother didn't actually touch you or your son the cops can only file a report, and nothing else (IMHO).. If she ever does actually assault you or your son you can then have her arrested and charged.

I would again talk to the principal - mention this last part (" As I expected, she flew off the handle and became vulgar as we left.") and let them know that (a) this occured on school grounds and (b) the control of this woman and son is THEIR responsibility while on their grounds and (c) if it happens again the school will be in deep Pelosi..

Good luck sir.. And let us know what transpires..
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Ex- USN (SS) '66-'69

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#3447469 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: prairie dog shooter]
Barkoff Offline
Campfire Kahuna

Registered: 08/02/04
Posts: 24160
Loc: Central CA
How old is your son?
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#3447471 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: LeonHitchcox]
TooDogs Offline
Campfire Guide

Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 3154
Loc: SE_WI
I'd seek consul with a lawyer. The school has to be careful of it's position and actions to avoid the woman claiming her rights were violated. My experience with my kids schools, though limited, makes me believe they are mostly interested in covering their azz first, and your concerns second.


Edited by TooDogs (11/03/09)
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#3447472 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: ltppowell]
big drift Offline
Campfire Regular

Registered: 08/01/05
Posts: 1357
Apply for HRO anyway once granted it then takes the school out of play and directly into the courts hands. You may also want to make a phone call family services with a mental health concern call for the mother. If she is going after kids there is an issue.

Some LEO's unfortunately do not want to deal with issues like this and pass it along to the schools vice versa which results in nothing getting done or done to late.

The HRO eliminates that right away it compels both groups to act.

We went thru this last year with my daughter.

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#3447505 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: prairie dog shooter]
prairie dog shooter Offline
Campfire Outfitter

Registered: 01/25/01
Posts: 8346
Loc: Texas
Up date.

I just came out of our meeting with the school principal. That woman has been barred from entering any school property or school function. The principal is standing firmly in our corner. For now anyway.

However, this woman will go ballistic when she is told latter today. I expect some type of retaliation. Soon.
_________________________
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
Edmund Burke 1795

"Give me liberty or give me death"
Patrick Henry 1775

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#3447511 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: prairie dog shooter]
mathman Online   content
Campfire Kahuna

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 22815
You've done well so far. Just don't tell her you already have the hole dug.

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#3447512 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: prairie dog shooter]
Kamerad_Les Offline
Campfire Oracle

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 54571
Loc: Behind Enemy Lines KSA
You have been doing everything right, since she made threats on your son though, I damn sure would go after an RO, no matter how hard they are to obtain. I would have no more contact with her at that point, if perchance she did encounter my child and threaten again, I'd put my wife on her with the marchin orders to whup her ass and do it well!
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The Man's Prayer: I'm a Man, I can Change.......if I have to.

Hit me at Skype: kameradles between 9am and 1pm eastern


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#3447518 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: big drift]
Alan_R_McDaniel_Jr Offline
Campfire Guide

Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 3073
Loc: Goliad, TX
If you are paying an attorney he/she will give you the best course of action.

Alan
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Food is at the core of Hunting and Fishing - Rebecca Gray


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#3447529 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: mathman]
denton Online   content
Campfire Outfitter

Registered: 06/28/04
Posts: 7989
Loc: Utah
School bullies are a difficult problem. I think you've done just right.

Never, ever initiate any contact with the woman for any reason. If she does something that requires a response, respond only in writing, certified mail, return receipt requested. He with the documentation usually wins the case if push comes to shove.

A neighborhood bully was seriously tormenting my grandson a few years ago. The bully was 2 years older, and about a head taller. My daughter worked through the process you have described with the school. I enrolled the kid in Tae Kwon Do, and today he is a second degree Black Belt. He is the smallest male in his class, but nobody messes with him.
_________________________
The considerate hunter will carry three cartridges afield. Two are for comrades who have lost or forgotten theirs. The third, of course, is for the hunter's own game.

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#3447532 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: Redneck]
StubbleDuck Offline
Campfire Guide

Registered: 11/19/06
Posts: 4559
Originally Posted By: Redneck
First off, you've done well so far.. Having that little episode where others can (and did) hear was stellar.. Now you got witnesses.

You can try for a restraining order but they're usually about as worthless as Obama.. Since the mother didn't actually touch you or your son the cops can only file a report, and nothing else (IMHO).. If she ever does actually assault you or your son you can then have her arrested and charged.

I would again talk to the principal - mention this last part (" As I expected, she flew off the handle and became vulgar as we left.") and let them know that (a) this occured on school grounds and (b) the control of this woman and son is THEIR responsibility while on their grounds and (c) if it happens again the school will be in deep Pelosi..

Good luck sir.. And let us know what transpires..


I agree with Redneck (mostly) and what most have conveyed here. But I would also let the hand-wringing principal and vice-principal you'll be watching them! As well as the school nurse and your boy's teacher. Perhaps even the teacher where the bully was moved to.

My point is that you want to come across as an active (versus passive), attentive and very alert parent who won't take any sheet from anyone! Or any pissant "system." If you get labeled a "troublemaker," make certain that accusor is reminded your son was injured, and that injury drew blood! And the "bully" barely got off with a repremand.

You put the fear of God into the school administrators and threaten their jobs, tenure, "peace of mind" and their [most likely] very liberal attitudes (most educators are indeed liberals!), and they'll move mountains or do whatever they have to (and should have already) to protect themselves (and their rice bowl). Liberals I've found are frequently cowards and won't take the rap for the dummazz kid and his mother. Fact she's a widow has absoluetly no bearing in this case.

Your boy was injured! Stabbed. When he's old enough, he needs to have it all carefully explained to him (the principles and legalities). I once decked a kid in the 7th grade for bad mouthing my mother. He sought me out to do so when we were eating lunch at school. His dad was a marine Major when my dad was a Navy Leutinant (sp?) at the Naval Post Graduate School in Monterey, CA - that's long ago been closed. The ditsie mother tried to give my mum grief at the O-club, which my mother has NEVER shirked from or been intimidated by! Dumb kid tried to intimidate me. As soon as I finished eating, I went and found him, asked if he "took it back" and would apologize? When he said no, I clobbered him - once! Chipped his tooth. Witnesses saw it including at least one faculty. Got sent to the "office," and was going to be suspended for 3 days or a week, but my dad talked the school out of it. Lots of crap cascaded from the ditsie major's wife I wasn't privy to, but I was 12yo at the time.

Was kind of funny when the "major" tried to dress down my Navy dad.

Long and short, I should have clobbered the kid the second he smarted off about my mother, or waited until after school to "catch him." I explained I was eating at the time, but dealt with things as soon as I was able to - is how I saw it. Part of the whole mess was not quite being able to understand grownup's logic, but als that was a time less "PC" than now!

That punk bully and his mother, and the principal and veep ALL need to know you'll protect your boy no matter what, IN EVERY WAY NECESSARY!

I hope they all take you and wife seriously, and is finally dealt with satisfactorily and properly. Best wishes!

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#3447537 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: prairie dog shooter]
BrotherBart Offline
Campfire Kahuna

Registered: 11/15/08
Posts: 21494
Loc: Registerd 2003 Tx
Just be glad that its not your daughter being bullied by another girl. Chicks are a bunch meaner....
_________________________
I'm a big fan of the courtesy flush.

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#3447555 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: prairie dog shooter]
Mannlicher Offline
Campfire Oracle

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 49615
Loc: N. Central Florida, and Miami
cover your butt, and don't back down
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Sam......


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#3447560 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: BrotherBart]
Greyghost Offline
Campfire Outfitter

Registered: 01/25/01
Posts: 8382
Loc: Southern California
Let it drop, sounds like the problem has been escalated way out of proportion already, the two boy's should have been left to handle it them selves.


Phil
_________________________
"Our borders - are about as useful and secure as a locked gate with no fence!"




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#3447646 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: Greyghost]
GregW Offline
Campfire Outfitter

Registered: 08/03/05
Posts: 9810
Loc: Southern Arizona
Originally Posted By: Greyghost
Let it drop, sounds like the problem has been escalated way out of proportion already, the two boy's should have been left to handle it them selves.


Phil


If only it were this easy in today's society...
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If you want to be someone, just do it. There are very few things that will not be a success with proper planning, hard work, and stubbornness.

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#3447698 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: GregW]
ironbender Online   happy
Campfire Oracle

Registered: 12/08/03
Posts: 44404
Loc: In the shadow of the Kenai Mtn...
I'm not a lawyer and perhaps one can verify that the child committed assault and battery against your son and the mother committed assault against your son.

If my thinking is correct the police need to do more work.
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If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli

American by birth; Alaskan by choice.


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#3447713 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: Greyghost]
djs Offline
Campfire Kahuna

Registered: 01/18/06
Posts: 18055
Loc: Virginia
Originally Posted By: Greyghost
Let it drop, sounds like the problem has been escalated way out of proportion already, the two boy's should have been left to handle it them selves.


Phil


Letting the kids handle it themselves is not a good answer. The bullied boy might be charged with some sort of legal action, if he is perceived to have escalated the situation. It is a matter for the school to handle now (since the police can not charge the bully). The boy's parents need to closely monitor the situation and make sure their son is not physically harmed or threatened into submission.

Bullies are a real problem and tough to deal with.

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#3447722 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: ironbender]
djs Offline
Campfire Kahuna

Registered: 01/18/06
Posts: 18055
Loc: Virginia
Originally Posted By: ironbender
I'm not a lawyer and perhaps one can verify that the child committed assault and battery against your son and the mother committed assault against your son.

If my thinking is correct the police need to do more work.


Are verbal abuse a crime in Texas? If no physical act occurred, I don't think the police can do much, unless there is a real perceived act of violence in the future.

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#3447746 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: djs]
ironbender Online   happy
Campfire Oracle

Registered: 12/08/03
Posts: 44404
Loc: In the shadow of the Kenai Mtn...
My understanding is that a threat is assault and a physical act is battery.

Where is Liar24 when ya need her? grin
_________________________
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli

American by birth; Alaskan by choice.


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#3447763 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: ironbender]
hatari Online   content
Campfire Outfitter

Registered: 10/05/04
Posts: 9383
Loc: Atlanta
Perhaps filing a Civil Suit against the school will get some action. When the school sends the bully to the alternative, the suit could be dropped.
_________________________
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid." - Han Solo

"Diana should forbid all first timers from fulling their wish lists. All hunters need something to remember and something to dream of." - Hatari 2011

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#3447775 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: ironbender]
djs Offline
Campfire Kahuna

Registered: 01/18/06
Posts: 18055
Loc: Virginia
Originally Posted By: ironbender
My understanding is that a threat is assault and a physical act is battery.

Where is Liar24 when ya need her? grin


I'm not a lawyer, but (IMO) if the threat is against your life of physical safty, it approaches or might be a crime; but if it is just ridicule or degrading, it might not.

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#3447817 - 11/03/09 Re: If someone threatens your child? [Re: hatari]
mohave_mauler1 Offline
Campfire Regular

Registered: 05/08/09
Posts: 722
Loc: the desert
Now is the time for some good ole-fashoned American street violence. The bully should be sought out and have done to him what he does to others. Win or lose the bully will find someone else to pick on. These guys prey on the weak, or ones they percieve to be weak. There is nothing better than seeing a good kid who walked away from a fight with a bully because he was raised right finally boil over and open a can of wup azz on the bully who has gone to far. This worked for kids on the playground for decades, it aint pretty, it aint PC, and somebody might get in a little trouble. But in the end the bulling is over. These are still kids, hopefully a our country hasn't gone down hill so far we need lawyers to resolve playground problems. As for the crazy mom, watch her like a hawk and get the law involved as soon as you can, adults are a whole nother matter.
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