Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Were you smacked (spanked) as a child - what do you think about it?

As a teacher who's now taught 30 years I always made it a point when meeting the parents of the real "winners" type of kid (you know, the parent's of kid after kid - of the type - that every parent or teacher would envy) to ask them about their own child-rearing practices. I always questioned them about their own corporal punishment ideas. Simply put one of my questions was "Do you believe in spanking?" The huge majority of parents who raised more than one great child would answer - after some thought - words to the effect "Well, when they were really young - we did." Often followed up with words to the effect "That was a long time ago though."

That has paralleled my own parenting. Between about 2 and 5 was when almost all of my children's "spanks" occurred. Having said that - my spanks were probably only used a few times a year - per kid. After 6 or so - I think there are better tools. In my case, I define a judicious "spank" as a single or few quick bare-handed swats to the butt. Enough to get tears - nothing more. Invariably, my own children's swats - were followed by what I called a "de-briefing" (an earnest discussion) and a hug and a kiss after the tears had quit falling. This method worked great for me. It was a useful tool in this parent's tool-box. It set a tone - when it was needed.

If I had to raise my kids over again - I'd do it the same way. And so far,I am exceedingly proud of how my own kids are turning out.

In this day and age, I was surprised to read the following article. What do you all think about spanking?



Smacking leads to happier kids, according to a new US study. Ironically, it took this long to find enough people who hadn�t been smacked to do the study. Now, a US study says that smacking into adolescence actually helps.
Most parents resent the �no smacking� edicts from a supposedly too-PC professional lobby. The fact that there are obvious limits to smacking and physical discipline, at least for sane parents, never seems to get mentioned. The fact that the �no smacking� approach has done nothing to stem child bashings by the lunatic fringe hasn�t had a lot of traction, either.
The no-smack concept, ironically, came from an anti-violence perspective, but was effectively translated into a no-discipline motif by some flat footed over the top PC publicity a few decades back which managed to miss its own point very effectively.
The original idea of the no-smack regime was to reduce the sort of semi-psycho, overdone approach, which was actually dangerous. A smack on the bottom is harmless. A smack on the head can do real damage, particularly to a young child.
The oppressive hyper discipline of the past was no joke, as many will remember. Bruised and sore kids were no myth, and over-disciplined kids were famous for lying their heads off. Those who perceived their parents as actually hostile were definitely not considered to be well served by that sort of treatment. All they learned was to avoid discipline, and later, self-discipline. Most people did stop well short of that sort of actual abuse, and stuck to the traditional �don�t do that� form of smack, tapering off as the kids grew up.
The no-smack approach was generally distrusted, and resented as an intrusion when it began. The overall reaction was a groan of disbelief. It�s also a matter of opinion whether it�s really taken hold. �Reason with the child� is a mixed blessing, after the event, and some parents believe that a no-risk option for getting away with murder isn�t the right message to send to the average two year old.
Most people have seen the screaming, undisciplined brat who�s obviously not under any sort of control. That may not be typical of the no-smack ethos, and certainly not the intent, but they really are out of control. They�re a risk to themselves, and likely to do staggeringly stupid things, simply because they can.
The parents receive the flak. The stony disapproval of an entire mall is a thing to see, particularly from other parents, who can make their point without saying a word. That hasn�t done a lot to boost the image of the no-smack idea.
Nor has the level of actual violence been affected. The pitiful tales of kids who�ve been killed regularly haunt the news. One woman actually put her kid in an oven, and turned it on. It�s doubtful that the sage philosophical arguments actually penetrate situations like that. It�s unrealistic to assume they do, and the no-smack lobby has yet to address that issue.
Prof. Marjorie Gunnoe, of Calvin University, Grand Rapids, Michigan, did a study of 2600 people, including about 25% who�d never received physical chastisement. The press coverage of this is sparse, and it looks like there�s a paper in the works, which has reduced the output in the releases, but Prof. Gunnoe has stated that the data from her study simply doesn�t support the no-smack concept.
Her research states that children smacked up to the age of six were likely to do better, in fact, at school, and more likely to do volunteer work, want go to university, and other signs of higher participatory involvements.
Gunnoe isn�t saying smacking is an answer. She considers it a �dangerous tool�, which may indicate she started her research with more than a few reservations of her own. She also said that it�s not appropriate for all situations.
The demographics of this issue are pretty clear. The smacked generations don�t buy the no-smack approach. They generally seem to think it reduces parental options, and doesn�t do a lot for discipline. The no-smack side equates smacking with violence against children, and hasn�t made much distinction between a smack on the bottom and a funeral.
Whatever the outcome, there's another issue: Child psychology might want to look at providing clearer arguments for its cases. As a communications exercise, no-smack has been a classic case of the single message getting amplified into a sort of jihad against parental discipline. The arguments have been polarized, not productive. This has been a situation where unqualified, over simplified statements have been the default version of ideas for public consumption, and that�s helped create an almost purely reactive environment for the concept. Some things should never be dumbed down, and raising kids is definitely the best place to start.

Yep and I don't think about it. I have a 10 year old son and I can honestly say before anyone (including God) that he has never given me a reason to spank him. Kid was an angel from day 1. I've rarely had to even raise my voice. I can think of 2 times where I had to do so.

Yes.
Not much.

BCBrian,



Absolutely, positively, totally, and emphatically disagee. Hands are used for blessing, praising carasing, soothing, congradulating, etc., etc. That may not be stated strongly enough!

The coorrect use is a wide paddle which makes a loud pop and may sting, but not produce an injury like a hand can. Spanking is NOT used for punishment. It is used for discipline. The foolishness of, "You can't go to the show because you were bad," is plain old punishment and may not lead to discipline. You discipline and immediately go to the show if that was the plan.

daily, but desired it, and im all for it.

Yes I was, but rarely and I deserved it.
Same with my kid.
You don't have to do it often, they learn quickly.

My brother and his wife have NEVER spanked their kids and have raised them the modern way.
"We don't spank our kids, we reason with them."
WAFJ.
Those kids are the most out of control Hellions I've seen in my life.
Everyone who comes in contact with them feels the same way.
TIME OUTS, that is the punishment they get for even the most deliberate transgressions.

Like Jeff Foxworthy says..
"When I was a kid, I used to get timeouts".
I needed them so my ass could cool off"

They also home school them.
The kid really don't interact well with others.
With all the problems public schools have, they do teach socialization very well.

The 'look' from my old man was all it took(takes).

My mom was way too nice to ever smack.

I've got three boys, 7, 5, and 3 (we don't have cable...).

We spank when they need it. But even with the youngest we rarely need to now. We don't threaten, we don't count to three, we just tell 'em what to do and expect them to do it.

We have random strangers approach us in stores and ask what we do to have such happy, well behaved children. Our standard answer is that we spank them.

Yes..but again rarely.

The deal was that it was done the first time there was an infraction...that way you knew the possibility was real...unlike the hollow threats I see parents make, which kids of course ignore..

Yep, I got my butt beat..and I turned out OK....

( All right...I'm sure THAT statement is open to examination and conjecture... )

Ingwe

Shoot, if I didn't get spanked on a daily basis, I thought something was wrong.

My mom was an EOS -Equal Opportunity Spanker-. If she could swing it, it was fair game.

There are times I look back and wonder if sometimes it was a bit to much but then again..I have never set another kid on fire or any of the other foolishness you hear about today.

That there would be the "hard to find" piece to the puzzle.

Wasnt too hard to find in our case, cause spankings were reserved for special events you couldnt miss..
i.e. both my sister and I got one the first ( and only ) time we tried to bite one of our parents....


The lesson took.....


Ingwe

I smacked our little dog once, pretty good swat right across his backside.

He hasn't pissed on the floor since....(grin)


Couldn't imagine raising a kid, not ready for that yet.

Kids and dogs want and need discipline, though they don't always know it.

I'm glad my dad whacked my behind a couple of times.

I got whampped a lot well into 8th grade. Not so much when I was a teen. I whampped back.

My dad used to thump us in church so as not to draw attention to whatever we were doing.

One time when I thumped my oldest in church he turned around with fire in his eyes, pointed at me and whispered, "Do NOT thlump me!"

So I didn't. I made an immediate weapon trasition from my thumping finger to spanking hand...I'm happy to oblidge.

My Mom handled the discipline. Got some good whacks growing up. I'm a firm believer in physical attitude adjustments.

I think it's beneficial during the first few years of marriage also. Had a pard that had to go out of town for 5 weeks and he asked me to go to his house once a week and smack his wife for him....

I got smacked around more that I deserved, but I did deserve some, and what I did deserve kept me from deserving more.

I wasn't an easy keep as a kid, switches by grandma, yardstick by mom, belt by dad.

dad spanked me the fewest times of the 3, but his were most memorable.

guess he lost his temper with me once when I was 2 years old and I wouldn't drink my milk nor cry when he whupped me. I don't remember a thing about it, but my sis will still bring it up on occassion, said she was silently cheering me on at first but as the beating got worse she became afraid for me and was wishing I would cry so he'd quit. Guess he finally tuckered out.

got spanked in school too. probably about a dozen times in the eighth grade with a big ole wooden paddle.

looking back I'm thankful folks cared enough to try and whail some sense into me, though at the time it was happening I wasn't much of a fan of a licking. Never would cry when a teacher spanked me either, but did bit my lip fairly hard when ole Mr. Schroeder thought he'd cure me of playing the tough guy. That rednecked ole bastid was the kind, I was lucky to have him for a principal.

I wasn't an easy kid and neither is/was my first one, a girl for cripes sake! The boys I could count on one hand the number of times I've spanked the both of them, all I have to do is lower my voice and it's been good enough.

don't believe either one of them doubts I'd knock teeth outa their head if they disrespected their momma, but don't worry about it, they love her.

the daughter, I'd rather do time than raise another one like that!