Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Blindsided! she wants a Divorce,what do I do?

+1 on the get a lawyer thing, if for no other reason than to strike while the iron is hot and shes feeling guilty....annd do it before "her" freinds start telling her what an azz you are....cause they will....

Ingwe

Been through two of them and then found the love of my life. Her motto and now mine is, "Bless those who disappoint you for they are leading you toward a better path"

That being said get into "hunker down" mode. Tomorrow, first thing, hire a Pit Bull Lawyer, get all your guns out of the house (store them with a friend), cash out all accounts you can and stash the booty with a friend or in a very secure place.

How old are the kids? I fought for and won custody of mine, age eight and nine (they are now in their forties and doing very well). This was very expensive in dollars but well worth it.

This is war treat it as such. God bless. You will come out a better man at the end.

Follow this advice....

And cancel any credit cards in joint names...first thing in the morning...
Ingwe

Wow!
All I can say is I am sorry and my prayers are with you and the kids.
A buddy of mine had a similar situation happen to him recently but without the kids. It was tough on him for a few months then he found a girlfriend.
I think some of the guys have the right idea. Fight all you can for you and your kids. She asked for it not you. So if she wants to go let her but do your best to make sure the kids go nowhere. Let your lawyers eat her alive but do it in a civil manner so she looks like the a$$. In this situation I think you have the edge.

Good luck to you my friend. If you need someone to talk too or vent too, give me a buzz. I come from a divorced family. my parents split when I was one so I now a little about how kids can feel. Never been divorced and don't plan to, but I'm here if you need to talk.

Kique

+1. Lock her ass out and don't look back. If she was cheating on you, don't shed a tear as you don't want her raising your kids anyways. You'll be fine on your own or you'll meet someone else.

I see he already corrected one mistake, which is a good sign. The wound is fresh, and he's at least showing his abilty to reason - in spite of it.

BT/DT kids are fine....get a lawyer ASAP and hire a PI and get the dirt documented it will help you with custody

From the moment she said "I want a divorce" she is the enemy, get a good attorney.

I am sorry this is happening to you, and everyone involved.
Go get legal advice Monday

Lots of States are no fault divorce and dirt don't help. But the State is always looking out for the good of the kids and desertion counts big time..

Close all credit card accounts,get money from bank,change life insurance and hire a good lawyer.Time is everything hurry up get busy.

I am sorry to hear of your situation. I will keep you in my prayers.

These gentlemen have given you superb advice and I agree 100%. Now do it.

When the wife moved out and left me alone with the kids the lawyer said, "Do not, under any circumstance leave the house while the kids are there". If she comes back do not leave just sit, stay.

Great advice about cancelling all joint credit cards. Try to get all money out of joint bank accounts but she has probably already Hoovered them.

This is war, treat it as such.

Sorry to hear about this, friend. It's a given things will be rough on everyone involved, hope thinks bounce back for you reasonably quick.

Have no idea if your wife found somebody, it sounds like maybe that is so, even so, she'll have to deny that to save face with the kids for years to come. She'll ride that lie forever and insist he came along after.

Happened to my friend. Him and his wife hit a brick wall, but he wanted to try to hold it together for the sake of his daughter. Upon my urging he asked her about marrige counseling, she wanted no part of it. About a month later she finally moved out, straight into some other guys house.

You will have your answer once you find out where she now resides.

Sorry brother, take a little time, then start dating, no better way to get your mind off it.

All you are getting on that note is speculation by those of us here.

She left, you have the power, do what the other's have advised and put blocks up on her returning.

Make the kids #1 in their thoughts through your actions with them, #1 in your conversations with a lawyer, #1 in any conversations with authorities. Try not to discuss any personal feelings you have about her with anyone, Kids #1 at all times, perception is everything.

Do not get involved with another woman for quite awhile, your kids need to know one parent is 100% committed to them, make that one parent YOU!

Kids aren't dumb and can be talked to honestly, they would have known something was up even if it was being hidden.

Kent

One thing that is way worse than divorce is living in a house with your worst enemy.

By the way does NJ have "no fault" divorce? It's always pissed me off that a woman can go out cheat on her husband, then still get the kids, minus every other weekend.

ADK4Rick-- Been there done that. The better YOU take care of yourself the better off your children will be. The most valuable things you have is your children. The most important thing I did going through a 3 year long messy divorce was be a good father to my three children. It has paid off big time. Take care of yourself and everything else will fall in line.--- Web

I feel you man, I'm on my 3rd wife and she's asian. Should have gone that way right away. I'd be retired and hunting in Africa every year now, if it weren't for them 2 bitches and their lawyers. Start protecting your assets, sell to your brother, liquidate man befor the lawyers swoop in for the kill.

No worse is she stays in the house kicks you out keeps the kids and someone else moves in.