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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 105
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OP
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 105 |
Who said shooters/hunters had no sense of humour! I stumbled across this website page:- www.australianhunting.net/ and search for 'Ask Uncle Dick' (One of the pages has all the back issues....) 'Ask Uncle Dick' is question & answer page...with some pretty hilarious shooting/hunting content... Heres two examples:- Q. Uncle Dick, I overheard a couple of blokes at the range discussing what if any animals they wouldn't shoot. Some interesting responses for sure, thinking about it I don't think I could shoot a whale. How about you, any animals you wouldn't shoot? A. I don't think I've met an animal I wouldn't shoot in the right circumstances. A whale you say...slovenly, lazy bastard of an animal...you often hear of them beaching themselves just for a bit of attention. Now a killer whale is something I could respect...they even eat proper food not f**king plankton. Q. Uncle Dick, I've recently picked up a .303/25 and understand that brass for reloading will not be easy to come by. Rather than going through the process of necking down .303 cases in the press and then fire forming them i was thinking that it would be more efficient to just use a hammer to drive the .303 cases into the chamber of my .303/25. What do you think of this approach? A. Well, there's no doubt you are one resourceful operator that's for sure. I would further refine the process by forcing standard .303 cartridges into the chamber of your .303/25 and actually firing them. Of course an extended bolt handle or cheater bar will give you a bit more leverage to chamber these and swage down the cartridge to rough enough proportions to your chamber for fireforming. As a bonus, you should pick up a little extra velocity too I'd reckon. Let me know how it pans out. The old SMLE eh, is there nothing it can't do? These are tame examples.....if you have a wicked sense of humour have a look.... If you are easily offended please do not look !~!!Peter
Sunny Australia ....but currently stuck in Spain..
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Joined: Sep 2007
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Campfire Ranger
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OK, I found the stuff, here's the link for those lazy sorts: http://www.australianhunting.net/AHN_Journal/Uncle_Dick/Uncle%20Dick-Index.htmand some more stuff: Q. Uncle Dick, I've managed to get a loaded live round stuck in my full length sizing die as I like to full length size my live rounds to straighten them up a bit. What is the best way to get the stuck round out of the die?
A. Hmmm...you're kind of special aren't you? I bet you wash your hands and wipe your arse before taking a dump too. The mind boggles as to what sequence of events would transpire should you attempt changing a light bulb. But I digress.
Place the die with stuck case into the mouth of a handy goat or camel, with the rim of the case facing into the mouth of the lucky creature. Take two bricks and hold them either side of the animal's ball sack and slam the bricks together smartly. The sudden biting down on the die and drawing of breath by the surprised animal seals and creates a low pressure area on the cartridge side of the die, thereby extracting the stuck case. If no animals are available, a mentally challenged sibling or close relative may of course be used in emergencies. I expect to lose a little time here today...
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 105
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OP
Campfire Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 105 |
OK, I found the stuff, here's the link for those lazy sorts: http://www.australianhunting.net/AHN_Journal/Uncle_Dick/Uncle%20Dick-Index.htmand some more stuff: Q. Uncle Dick, I've managed to get a loaded live round stuck in my full length sizing die as I like to full length size my live rounds to straighten them up a bit. What is the best way to get the stuck round out of the die?
A. Hmmm...you're kind of special aren't you? I bet you wash your hands and wipe your arse before taking a dump too. The mind boggles as to what sequence of events would transpire should you attempt changing a light bulb. But I digress.
Place the die with stuck case into the mouth of a handy goat or camel, with the rim of the case facing into the mouth of the lucky creature. Take two bricks and hold them either side of the animal's ball sack and slam the bricks together smartly. The sudden biting down on the die and drawing of breath by the surprised animal seals and creates a low pressure area on the cartridge side of the die, thereby extracting the stuck case. If no animals are available, a mentally challenged sibling or close relative may of course be used in emergencies. I expect to lose a little time here today... RWE 'Forgive me for I have sinned...' I would have put in the quick link to the site but my computer doesn't let me......well it's the Spanish version of Windows XP and I generally dont have a clue what I'm doing !!! Peter
Sunny Australia ....but currently stuck in Spain..
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524
Campfire Ranger
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524 |
It's all good, mate. No intend to offend, but the stuff is so funny, I didn't want anyone getting bogged down finding it. It's killing me..... ![[Linked Image]](http://www.australianhunting.net/AHN_Journal/images/cat-carrier.jpg)
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842 |
I don't think Uncle Dick likes barnes TSX's much either.  Q. Dick, I'm trying to come up with the best Sambar bullet for my .300 WinMag. So many choices and after reading a lot of reports I'm more confused than anything. My mate reckons just go with a Barnes TSX, MRX or TTSX. What can you tell me about the Barnes?
A. All the Barnes are based on the original all copper bullet and contrary to popular belief this was not the Barnes X-Bullet at all. The original project development name given to this bullet was the Barnes MTR (Make Them Run). The highly paid hairdresser that designed this bullet liked the idea of tracking game by following a blood trail. I think the Barnes bullets have done more to popularise tracking wounded game than anything I've seen since bulk ex military 6.5 Swede FMJ ammo was sold by Fullers at primary school tuck shops.
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Jun 2004
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 44,872 Likes: 5 |
I was about to put that up Les! 
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
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Yer too slow.
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 44,872 Likes: 5
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 44,872 Likes: 5 |
I'm being held back by work. 
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 17,289
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2006
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RWE, You should write in and ask about mystery primers and mixed lots of powder. That would be fodder for a wize azz answer. fish head
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
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Posts: 54,842 |
Awesome Explanation! This guy give Steelhead answers.  Q. Last Saturday night over a few beers, my mate was explaining to me the logic behind the naming of the .30-30 Winchester cartridge, apparently the first 30 means it takes a .30 caliber bullet and the second 30 means it used to be loaded with 30 grains of black powder. It wasn't until half-way through the second slab that it hit me. How the Frick do you cram 250 grains of powder into my .22-250?
A. I'm glad you asked that question as it highlights the fact that you are obviously not an experienced reloader. You basically have to use a very long drop tube when charging the case, taking time to tap the case on the bench frequently, so the powder settles and compacts a little. If you get any pressure signs.......err, get your mate to let me know how it goes.
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842 |
More good stuff Q. Mr Dick, I'll be up front and admit I'm not a shooter and hate guns. It was my son's suggestion that I contact you as he watches your show (much to my disgust) on cable TV. My concern is the possible influence that my new scary neighbour has had on my son. He drives one of them 4WD things with a big searchlight on the roof and anti-green stickers all over the vehicle. I'm sure I saw him carrying what looked like a guitar case but was more likely a gun. I don't want anything to distract my little boy from becoming a hairdresser, so....... as a responsible mother, what can I do?
A. I suppose you could call the cops and tell them the scary man pointed a guitar case at your cat. It's been pretty quiet lately and the Tactical Response Group will enjoy the day out. You do sound very uptight though, have you considered asking him over for tea. A good rogering sounds like just the ticket to relax you.
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
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Hmm, I wonder if it was Blue tape? Q. Dick, I bumped into a couple of other blokes whilst out stalking the other day and noticed both these guys had tape over the muzzle of their rifles. When I asked about it, one guy just sneered at me and said "keeps schit out". I asked him what he means and his mate cut me off by shouting "ask Uncle Dick...ya knob"! What's all that about?
A. HeHe, yeah the warmth & camaraderie of fellow Sambar stalkers can overcome the neophyte at times. The guy was telling you the truth...the tape is there to keep the schit out. Where do you think that barrel ends up when you're following your mate down a slippery slope and trip? Exactly, right up his arse. And before you ask, don't use a condom on the muzzle instead of tape because your mate will think you're tripping on purpose.
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
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RWE, You should write in and ask about mystery primers and mixed lots of powder. That would be fodder for a wize azz answer. fish head yeah, that would work out well. Wonder if I have to join up or can I just drop a post in the box. Q. Dick, my friends tell me I'm very good at drawing caricatures of people. So I've used my skills to come up with a little puzzle for you as I know you're a student of world politics. See if you can pick the 44th President of the United States from my little drawing below? ![[Linked Image]](http://www.australianhunting.net/AHN_Journal/images/44th-US-Pres.gif) A. I reckon it's Tiger Woods...last bloke on the right, bottom row. Sure looks pleased with himself, given his wife slaps him around a bit.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
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This guy must be hunting with Bob. Q. Uncle Dick, A very experienced big game hunter I know warned me of the dangers of approaching downed game. He reckons what he does is put his finger up the bum of the downed beast, whilst holding his rifle in the other hand and watches for a reaction. Sounds a bit funny to me?
A. I don't think much of that method at all, and here's why. Imagine if your mate sticks his finger up the arse of the beastie and the animal cracks a sly smile...or heaven forbid, lets out a mournful groan! I've seen some weird schit in the hills, no doubt largely due to blokes like your experienced mate with the smelly finger.
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842 |
RWE, You should write in and ask about mystery primers and mixed lots of powder. That would be fodder for a wize azz answer. fish head yeah, that would work out well. Wonder if I have to join up or can I just drop a post in the box. Q. Dick, my friends tell me I'm very good at drawing caricatures of people. So I've used my skills to come up with a little puzzle for you as I know you're a student of world politics. See if you can pick the 44th President of the United States from my little drawing below? A. I reckon it's Tiger Woods...last bloke on the right, bottom row. Sure looks pleased with himself, given his wife slaps him around a bit. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I haven't gotten that far yet.
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524 |
Les, there's a pic in February 2010 you need to send Bob.....
just sayin....
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842 |
Hasn't met Jeff_O yet I see. Q. Uncle Dick, I don't suppose you can tell me how the term "Texas Heart Shot" came to be so widely used in hunting terminology?
A. It all started back in the early days when the very first printed hunting magazines began to appear. The early writers soon decided that "experienced" gurus do not shoot animals up the arse, they use the Texas Heart Shot. So now we come to the contemporary magazines and rather than say "the big buck bolted before I was ready and I lacked the discipline to resist a shot up his fast disappearing arse" we instead "take an opportunistic Texas Heart Shot" .
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842 |
Done buddy.
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 105
Campfire Member
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OP
Campfire Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 105 |
Guys
do you think the Gunsmithing Forum would appreciate this one:-
Q. Hey Dick, I just want to tell you I am not impressed with that idiot gunsmith you put me onto when I asked you about free floating my rifle. When I went to pick the rifle up, this knob had the audacity to ask for $150! "So what [bleep] part of free floating is free" I said to him. He then says "look mate, I bedded the rifle and free floated the barrel...and it's $150". Well I thought "you sick prick, take my rifle to bed eh" and decked him. He won't be eating a cob of corn any time real soon. No wonder people are pissed off with tradesmen these days.
A. Good stuff mate, it's a pity that more people don't express themselves as clearly as you do. If the gunsmith didn't take the time to clearly describe the work to you, complete with diagrams and backwoods dialect if necessary...then he got what he deserved.
Sunny Australia ....but currently stuck in Spain..
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 17,289
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 17,289 |
So, how do we get Dick to join the fire? We have a Gunwriter's forum. fish head
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