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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
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ozzie, yer my friggin hero, this site is awesome.  Yep, that would go good on the gunsmithing forum. 
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 28,605
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2003
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well looks like i aint getting chit done at work today......thank you very [bleep] much ozzie............
A serious student of the "Armchair Safari" always looking for Africa/Asia hunting books
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
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Scott, are you really an Aussie named Dick? Q. Uncle Dick, I've just spent several thousand dollars on a custom rifle. Blueprinted 700 action, Krieger barrel, McMillan stock, Jewel trigger, forged bottom metalwork...the whole hog. I've now got the uneasy feeling I've made a mistake in having it chambered in .308 Winchester. All my mates with custom rifles seem to favour European metric chamberings and I feel like a common whore turning up with the .308, any help you can offer would be much appreciated.
A. Yes I can well understand your dilemma, we all know perception and wank factor are everything. Look, I've just purchased a new set of letter punches and if you send me your rifle I reckon I can rechamber your rifle to 7.62x51 and have it back to you in no time at all. I reckon around 800 clams should cover it and you will have that warm "just pissed in my pocket" feeling for a good while I'd reckon.
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 28,605
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 28,605 |
Q. Hey Dick, how come all the loads listed in older reloading manuals show a lot heavier maximum recommended loads than in the recent manuals? My mate reckons it's because the new manuals are erring on the side of safety as everyone is lawyer happy these days.
A. Nah, utter bullshit mate. The newer manuals take into account global warming, and as you know a higher ambient temperature results in higher pressures. Of course all our friends shivering in North America with their arseholes frozen solid this winter are most likely using the older loading manuals. I know I would be.
A serious student of the "Armchair Safari" always looking for Africa/Asia hunting books
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 28,605
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 28,605 |
i think i could watch this: Q. Hey Dick, A friend of mine in the entertainment industry told me you are going to be in the next season of Dancing With The Stars.
A. Your friend is wrong, I don't do dancing. I was approached to appear in a new show called Caping Out The Stars.
A serious student of the "Armchair Safari" always looking for Africa/Asia hunting books
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 11,666
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Mar 2006
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ozzie, yer my friggin hero, this site is awesome. Yep, that would go good on the gunsmithing forum. +1 to that!
Broncos are officially the worst team in the nation this year.
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 105
Campfire Member
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OP
Campfire Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 105 |
well looks like i aint getting chit done at work today......thank you very [bleep] much ozzie............ Rattler, Kamerad Les et al..... Thanks for the thumbs up..... It brings a tear to an old Aussies eye that I've put.. just a little bit.. of happiness into my American brothers lives.... But I am concerned that my posting during your working hours will affect the productivity (GNP)of your great country..... ...On seconds thoughts ...Nah bugger it!!...if the US dollar drops a few more points against the Aussie $ I'll be able to afford that McMillan Edge !!!!! Peter
Sunny Australia ....but currently stuck in Spain..
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842 |
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,880
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: May 2005
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Hilarious, thanks a lot! Sending to a few friends who would enjoy also. Think maybe one should be careful on a send too, apparently the Aussies have a better PC agenda than we do in the States. Can't even imagine the anti-gun fungus folks getting to upset over some of these answers and solutions either. Lot of these solutions appear they might be a good way to eliminate the toxic weeds from the field. Might offend PETA and the bunnytypes, etc. due to the use of animals in some of the solutions. I'm biased there though, offending these types are part of my lifestyle,  !
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842 |
OH GAWD, I'm in friggin tears! Q. Uncle Dick, I've recently worked up some heavy hitter 70 Gr loads for my Vanguard .22-250 for an upcoming trip to see my best mate Azza in the Congo. The 70 grainers shoot very well, though the recoil fair rattles my boyish frame but the padded bra helps a bit here. I'm confident this load will take pretty well any creature out there but my mate Azza, who's had some nasty run ins with Gorillas, reckons my load is a bit light on. If carrying a .22-250, what should I do if I come upon a Gorilla?
A. You should wipe it off and say sorry. If you're lucky, you may getaway without being bent over & taking your medicine.
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842 |
Q. Hi Uncle Dick, I'm having a lot of trouble shooting with any sort of accuracy. My wife reckons I might have a problem with my dominant eye. Do you think my wife might be right? I've enclosed a photo of myself to see what you reckon. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.australianhunting.net/AHN_Journal/images/Arab.jpg) A. Yeah your wife might be right about the dominant eye problem. The question is, which eye and do either of them work? I wouldn't mind betting your mum & dad are also brother and sister, which is unfortunate for you and doesn't really help with your problem. I'd just get someone to poke out one of your eyes, for my money one [bleep] eye is better than two and you can watch your favourite show on just the one TV set. And please tell me you've had the wife and yourself fixed up, though I'm sure you'd produce some real pretty kids.
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Aug 2009
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Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,984 |
This is funny as hell. ROFLMAO.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 28,605
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2003
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Q. Dick, I went to a seedy clinic last week and sold one of my kidneys for a bit of cash. Didn't sleep real well in a bath full of iced water either. I'm thinking of heading over to China to watch the Olympics and maybe bring back some rhino horn to surprise the missus. I hear you've hunted in China, any advice would be appreciated.
A. China's [bleep] mate, I wouldn't bother. I was arrested almost immediately when I was over there as I spotted a black & white Grizzly rummaging through a peasant's bamboo garden and dropped the bastard with a single shot. Well you should have seen the Chinks carry on like porkchops. Some [bleep] about the black & white Grizzly not being a bear at all, must think I'm an idiot to believe the nonsense about it being a national symbol and a rodent at that for [bleep]'s sake. Anyway I'm barred from the place and they didn't even have the decency to send me the cape.
A serious student of the "Armchair Safari" always looking for Africa/Asia hunting books
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,984
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,984 |
Gives you a different outlook on hunting buddies. Look out for those guys that put rubbers on the barrel of their gun uh er rifles. LMAO.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842 |
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524 |
He's a philosopher as well: Q. Dick, My mate was very critical of my new Chinese lever shottie and reckons it's just cheap Chink [bleep]. Surely the people that invented gunpowder know a thing or two about making fine guns?
A. Your mate is right, Chinese guns take it up the arse like a poofter chook. Don't let the fact they discovered gunpowder blind you to their inability to make anything more exciting than fireworks with it. I mean Arabs invented oil and although they get good money for it, they haven't really worked out anything useful to do with it besides lubing up the nearest goat. The Japs invented really sharp swords...then the [bleep] went to war with a nation that invented Winchesters. Life is very complex and full of uncertainties written in stone. What's a poofter chook?
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
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Posts: 28,605 |
hell he even covers photography: Q. Dick, I've always been impressed by the quality of the photos in your articles. Unfortunately I struggle to get acceptable result with any camera I've tried. Can you pass on any photography tips to help me capture those special moments A. I would suggest rather than shooting on Auto mode, you use the built in special scene modes of your camera. Photography is complicated, don't [bleep] around with settings you don't understand. Most, if not all cameras have special Scene Position programmes built in for typical subjects you might want to photograph. They are clearly marked on the command dial of most cameras. Here is a photo of my camera's command dial to show you what I'm talking about. Just select the most appropriate Scene Position mode for your subject and snap away! ![[Linked Image]](http://www.australianhunting.net/AHN_Journal/images/scene.jpg)
A serious student of the "Armchair Safari" always looking for Africa/Asia hunting books
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 105
Campfire Member
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OP
Campfire Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 105 |
Hilarious, thanks a lot! Sending to a few friends who would enjoy also. Think maybe one should be careful on a send too, apparently the Aussies have a better PC agenda than we do in the States. Can't even imagine the anti-gun fungus folks getting to upset over some of these answers and solutions either. Lot of these solutions appear they might be a good way to eliminate the toxic weeds from the field. Might offend PETA and the bunnytypes, etc. due to the use of animals in some of the solutions. I'm biased there though, offending these types are part of my lifestyle, ! Slopshot Alas.. we are just as 'PC' as you guys :((and the Brits)... ...but this is a website ....and you can get away with a bit !!! ...If they tried to print this in our national hunting/shooting magazines..the 'powers that be' would probably have the editors sumarily shot..!
Sunny Australia ....but currently stuck in Spain..
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842 |
Q. Uncle Dick, I was reading the Sydney Morning Herald over a double decaf latte on Saturday morning when I came across an article on our wonderful ex-prime minister John Howard. He was on a talking tour of the US and when asked what he considered his greatest achievement, he quoted his gun control legislation of 96! Are you surprised by this statement? A. Yes, quite frankly I am surprised. Especially as a very good mate of Howard's told me most of the evil little dwarf's most memorable acts were in parliament during question time. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.australianhunting.net/AHN_Journal/images/hmmm.jpg)
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 28,605
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 28,605 |
Q. Uncle Dick, why is it that when you ask a bunch of supposedly experienced hunters what is an adequate caliber for say Buffalo or Sambar, you always get a range of cartridges from cannons to pea shooters recommended.
A. The same reason that blokes with small dicks still manage to have kids. It's all to do with how you use it.
A serious student of the "Armchair Safari" always looking for Africa/Asia hunting books
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