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Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,557 |
I need some parenting advice.
My oldest daughter and her husband are on the skids. Their marriage never recovered after they lost their baby. Neither have a job or income right now. My daughter and other grand daughter have been staying with my ex.
Well, last night my ex got drunk (the reason she's my ex) and kicked my daughter & grand daughter out on the street. I want to ask the girls to stay with my wife and I because we have an extra room.
Is this a bad idea? Anyone have some words of wisdom or experience? I can't think clearly at the moment.
Thanks,
Gary
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Joined: Aug 2008
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Campfire Outfitter
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make sure that, if you want this to be temporary, you tell them so. set a time limit, and try your best to help them achieve what they need to get back on their feet.
30-06 till i die, the greatest round ever! I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy! CEO of a Turdlike People: Turds & Tats Division... (per Ingwe  )
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Joined: May 2008
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 25,652 Likes: 34 |
That's what family is for...
�Politicians are the lowest form of life on earth. Liberal Democrats are the lowest form of politician.� �General George S. Patton, Jr.
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~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Campfire Regular
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Hopefully your present wife has a good relationship with your daughter. I would make it clear she needs to help out while she is living with you.
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2006
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Take all 3 of the above members advice and run with it. I know I would not be able to turn mine away in a true time of need.
That's ok, I'll ass shoot a dink.
Steelhead
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 39,411 Likes: 66 |
Never turn your back on family - my motto. It appears that you and the daughter are on decent terms - take her back, help her out. It's just the right thing to do IMO.
Me
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Campfire Regular
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Gary, this is a tough one. We just went through this with one of our twin daughters,age 42. Down on her luck and nothing in the future. She is a hard worker but has a real problem with the bottle. It lasted 27 days  and she was OUT!!!!! Guess you could call it tough love or whatever but she disrespected her mother and I several times,never here and always at a local bar, as she said just hangin out. There has to be firm rules of the house,I wish you luck.
![[Linked Image]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/jimmyd223/th_P1000031.jpg) "Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened."
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Campfire Outfitter
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there is nothing wrong with helping out family UNLESS they are taking advantage of you or the situation. When it gets to that point or to the point that you are just enabling them then it is time to do something different.
Set the ground rules from the start (time limit of stay, helping out, looking for work, ect...) If she is appreciative of your help she will want it as short of time as possible.
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Campfire Regular
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last time I checked,Dad was a lifetime position,you have a good heart to even consider it,I would follow the other posters advice as far as rules,time limit and chores.
you may just get yourself a new pal spending time with your grand daughter too.
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I could not turn my back on any of my family.The wife would have to understand.Of course that goes two ways.Good Luck, Lightman
lightman
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Joined: Dec 2005
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,760 |
I need some parenting advice.
My oldest daughter and her husband are on the skids. Their marriage never recovered after they lost their baby. Neither have a job or income right now. My daughter and other grand daughter have been staying with my ex.
Well, last night my ex got drunk (the reason she's my ex) and kicked my daughter & grand daughter out on the street. I want to ask the girls to stay with my wife and I because we have an extra room.
Is this a bad idea? Anyone have some words of wisdom or experience? I can't think clearly at the moment.
Thanks,
Gary It would be hard for me to conceive of the circumstances that I wouldn't let my daughter come home to live with me. I'm sure there are some, but I'm having a hard time thinking of any.
War Damn Eagle!
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Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
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You might make it too easy for them to not try and improve their lot...
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 28,266 Likes: 3
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 28,266 Likes: 3 |
I need some parenting advice.
My oldest daughter and her husband are on the skids. Their marriage never recovered after they lost their baby. Neither have a job or income right now. My daughter and other grand daughter have been staying with my ex.
Well, last night my ex got drunk (the reason she's my ex) and kicked my daughter & grand daughter out on the street. I want to ask the girls to stay with my wife and I because we have an extra room.
Is this a bad idea? Anyone have some words of wisdom or experience? I can't think clearly at the moment.
Thanks,
Gary It would be hard for me to conceive of the circumstances that I wouldn't let my daughter come home to live with me. I'm sure there are some, but I'm having a hard time thinking of any. Well providing she can provide me with a plan. If she can show me how moving home will allow her to better her current situation (school or training), as long as she sticks to the regiment I would help her. Sometimes kids take a long time getting their act together, make her prove to you that this is her time, how does she intend to make this opportunity work for her, aside from taking advantage of family. Just my opinion, make her provide a game plan.
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Campfire Outfitter
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You might make it too easy for them to not try and improve their lot...
To each his/her own. I'm speaking within the context of knowing my own child. I can certainly conceive of circumstances, in general, where a parent would turn a child away. Even at that, it would have to be a serious "end of the rope" type deal.
War Damn Eagle!
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Campfire Regular
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Life is a kick in the balls sometimes.
Set clear expectations up front and do your best.
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2006
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Gary,
Not being a parent I have no advice to give, but I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
"For joy of knowing what may not be known we take the golden road to Samarkand."
James Elroy Flecker
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 16,916 |
A job in 89 days. ANY JOB or it's a tent under a bridge.
Last edited by 284LUVR; 07/21/10. Reason: to make Barkoff happy
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 28,266 Likes: 3 |
A job in 90 days. ANY JOB or it's a tent under a bridge. Well keep in mind, after 90 days you won't be able to legally throw them out.
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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
Take all 3 of the above members advice and run with it. I know I would not be able to turn mine away in a true time of need. There it is, I did thus for my daughter years ago and never regretted it.
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 69,557 Likes: 25 |
Depending on her, you might need to lay some ground rules. If she drinks heavily or does drugs, you need to make it clear that you have a no tolerance rule. It's YOUR house.
“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
― George Orwell
It's not over when you lose. It's over when you quit.
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