Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Anyone give me insight into stage 4 lung cancer? My FIL just got diagnosed

My FIL was just diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. He's been a heavy smoker for decades (actually a half century to be exact). The dr's say there a just small spots and are now treating with chemotherapy. I think they are just trying to remain optomistic with us but after reading up on it, it doesnt sound good. Anyone here have experience with what my wife and her family will be going thru?

Sir, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, and I don't know all so others may chime in, but the stats I heard on Lung CA alone, are that it's diagnosis/prognosis, is about a 90% fatality rate.

Lost my FIL long ago with Brain CA, so know the impact this has on you and your family. Wishing you the best, your FIL, and your family. There is always hope and prayer even in the midst of news like this - in the end it's all in God's hands, and all of us mortals can do is trust in him.

Sorry for your news, prayers for you all.

Thanks 65, I known this is going to be a trying time for our family, and my MIL has been a wonderful testimony to my FIL, so maybe he will come around. I hate having to see my wife go thru this, her dad is only 63.

I don't know what stage my MIL was in but she had the upper lobe of her left lung removed when she was in her 60's. She lived another 7 years or so. It wasn't cancer that killed her. So it can be beat.

Best wishes.

Dale

God knows I loathe cancer and the damage it inflicts on healthy folks and their families. My Dad's Father passed from colon cancer and as a result he devoted the last 20 years of his life and his morning radio show to fund raising towards cures. Called it his war on cancer and he raised millions. I now participate with others I know who have been effected by this so called war on cancer.

I truly pray and wish the best for your FIL. May he be without physical and mental pain and realize a healthy outcome. Just be there as often as you can be. That's what we did. I know many others who have come out the other side cancer-free. Anything is possible.

Sincerely,

David

I have a good idea what they may be going through. My wife died of lung cancer and it was a miserable time. She too was a smoker. I am not familiar with the term stage4. My wifes cancer was called smallcell and the over whelming concensous is that nobody survives smallcell lung cancer. She proved them right. Chemo made it go away but was told it would come back, and it does with a vengance. She lasted 9 months after the diagnosis. Wish your relatives all the best in this battle it will be tough.

Sorry to hear this. Stage 4 is certainly not a good thing. This means the tumor has spread (metastasized)so much (to other organs of the body/lymph nodes)that surgery offers little benefit, thus, likely the reason the docs are offering only chemo (if it's small-cell, surgery is usually not an option even in early stages). In his case, surgery would likely only be considered in the event that one of his tumors was creating a "mass-effect" (blocking the GI tract/neurologic symptoms from a brain met/etc.). Even then, they'd likely try to shrink the tumor with radiation/chemo first.

My specialty isn't oncology, so I'll leave the rest to those folks, but if his doc hasn't mentioned it, you guys need to discuss hospice care. He may not need it right now, but he likely will soon, and it can help greatly, both physically and psychologically. Now's also the time to get his financial affairs in order and take that vacation he's always wanted to take.

I wish you guys all the best in beating this, but the odds are not good.

I'm sorry to hear bad news for your FIL and your Wife and Family. I'm never sure how to express the answer to your question, other than to say you will all go through as much as you all can bear. There are miracles, they are few.

I believe you have a good grasp on an expected outcome--other Family members may not--so you must simply be there for everyone, especially for your Wife.

I can only suggest that you pray to your Lord for Strength, for He will provide. Pray for a Healing Miracle only if it be the Lord's Will, else you may cultivate false hope.

The doctors will palliatively treat your FIL, but depending on the Family's expectations they will at some point begin to treat the Family accordingly. The sooner your Family can accept the expected Death of your loved one, the easier it will be for you all. It is not just a cliche, "..to embrace Death..", for it awaits us all.

Perhaps you can celebrate his Life-- the Goodness, the Love, the Caring he has for his Family. The Hope that what he passed along his way on Earth will manifest itself in his Children and his Friends. Share your focus on this with him while he is still cognitive, so that he may pass to his Rewards in Peace, and your Family may remember his death in Dignity.

Praying for you and yours. God Bless.

CF

I don't want to seem pessimistic, but realistic. My Mom died in 2006 of a cancer that started as Melanoma, but spread. Long story short, (and I apologize for this) but from what I know, if you have cancer in your lungs, it is game over. At least it was for Mom.

I have a buddy, worked with him for years, who just got diagnosed. They give him 1 year , with treatment. 39 years old, a girl 7 and a boy less than 2. Terrible disease. My advice? Tell him everything you always wanted to about what you admired about him, drop some money and go on a vacation with him. Money comes easy. Time/memories come hard.

If you want the straight goods?? I don't know if you should PM me, because I don't come on often. Here are the straight goods. Once cancer is in your lungs, you die by suffocation/drowning. My Mom carried a letter that cleared her husband to give her a semi-lethal dose of Morphine to put her unconscious when this happened. The idea was to make the patient unconscious when it took place. He never used it, she died shortly after arriving at hospital. Gasping for breath for 1/2 hour. So......................I don't blame him for not using it......his choice. I do want to be clear (and believe me, and am NOT being unkind) what you are facing. I am so sorry to tell you this, I would NOT tell your wife....let her believe whatever the Doctor tells her. He tells her for her own good.

My Uncle had the same thing. They gave him a year but they were wrong. He lasted a year and nine days. The end was not very pretty. Sorry to hear your family is going to have to go through this. Be supportive that's all you really can do for them.

Mom fought lung cancer for 18 months. Encourage everyone to say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done. One brother and one sister of mine refused to believe she was was dying.

I was next to her when she died. It was gut wrenching and is to this day. Do not fail to be helpful and positive for there is no other way to be even in the face of death. Everyone owes him that.

Thanks guys for the gut check. I had assumed it was not gonna be a pretty picture, I just want to prepare for what is inevitable. I really appreciate your help and prayers!

King,

So sorry to hear about your FIL. My Mom was just diagnosed with lung cancer in April, so I do have a good idea what you guys are going through. My sister called and talked to the doctor (with Mom's permission) and asked him flat out what time frame we were looking at for her - he said two months, maybe . . . It's now the end of August and she says she feels better than she has in several years. She was a heavy smoker since she was 14, she is now 78, and has been on oxygen for the last eight years. It hurts me like the dickens because we are 500 miles away and it is a major event to get there with any regularity. Short of moving back home, all I can do is trust how she sounds on the phone and that she's giving me the straight story.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your wife and the rest of the family. Do let us know how things are going for y'all.

wishing and praying the best for you and yours

I know of 2 people who had lung cancer, both were operated and had a lung removed.

The first one died within a few months.

The second one fought like hell and survived. 12 years passed since his operation and when I saw him 2 weeks ago, he was playing tennis!

The outcome of these disease is hard to predict and it seems that one has a fighting chance.

All the best to your FIL.

My mom died of Lung Cancer, Lost 1/2 left lung at age 71 cancer came back at age 73 and was given 6 weeks to two months, lasted for 6 months.

The last two weeks were not good but was made worse because an intern resesatated (sp) mom after she had slipped into a coma. Had he followed the living will Mom had requested she would not have had to indure those terrible two weeks. Hospice can really help in this area I am told.

My best advice is let your FIL live each day to the fullest and don't let yourself or other family members cross any bridges before you/they have to. We all go down this road and its how we live that really counts!

God Bless, you and yours are in my prayers.

It's difficult to predict. One of my best friends was a heavy smoker & was diagnosed with lung cancer. He served in WWII, Korea, & Vietnam being exposed to a lot of Agent Orange. He had part of a lung removed & chemo & returned to great health for almost three years. A separate brain cancer not related to his lung cancer caused his death. With the remarkable breakthroughs in cancer treatment there is hope. The best to you, your FIL, & family.

I lost both of my ( then ) in-laws, ten days apart to cancer
Ted had lung, Sarah throat.
Her's was slower and she had many tumors removed before.
But Ted's lungs were quick. A couple months

My sis -IL went last year to lung. Quickly.
Never a first hand smoker herself, but always exsposed to the men in her life.

best advice? look into the best hospice you cen find.

My next x ray in 10 days....

Many years ago, an uncle of mine was diagnosed with Lung Cancer, although I am not sure what type/stage. He was in his early 60's and had been a heavy smoker all his life.

He was also an ex coal miner which compounded the problem as his lungs were pretty shot up anyway through dust.

He had the lung removed, and made a reasonable recovery, all things considered.

Eventually his other lung failed him, but that was 5 or 6 years later and was more to do with coal dust than the original cancer.

He kept on smoking too, right until the end