Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire A bad time to fart

Ever been in a situation where you wished you wouldn't have farted. LOL


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4gK3RRtCHw&feature=related

I'm not sure of the situation cited here as I am loathe to do links, but it did remind me of a time when we were freshmen in high school. We were in Mrs. Roberts's English class. She was an excellent teacher, large, older woman who put up with nothing and took no prisoners. She knew her students and seated them accordingly. She had The Claw and Schnetter right in the middle of the front row so she could keep an eye on them. While she was writing on the board, Schnetter farted. Mrs. Roberts's hearing was still sharp, but not completely clear. She wheeled around, got in The Claw's face and said, "What did you say?" The Claw, not knowing how to respond, said nothing. This resulted in a slap across his face and a repeat of the question. You could see The Claw calculating the advantages and disadvantages of either saying nothing or that Schnetter had farted. Before he could make up his mind, the back-hand took him from the other side and he was sent to the principal's office.

Was sitting in a ground blind hunting deer or a warm sunny day in NC. I dozed off & suddenly cut one that vibrated off the metal chair & startled about 7 deer that jumped about 4' in the air & disappeared in the blink of an eye. Never saw another deer that day.

got of the van onetime and turned to talk to my buddy through the window of the van. i was leaning in the window talking to Roy when i let a loud nasty one go. i finished talking and turned around and there was a lady in the car next to us with her window down my ass was about 18 inches from her face I'll never forget the look on her face. we about died laughing

A couple weeks ago I was treating a few customers to a meal at the Route 66 Casino, near Albuquerque. We'd finished eating, and migrated out to the "pit" area, where a couple of the fella's were contemplating some blackjack.

Brandon (one of 'em) leaned near to my ear whispering, "we better move on". I was contemplating asking "why", when my sinus's got completely insulted, causing an involuntary stoppage of breathing - it was survival mechanisms ruling. "Find another table" was Brandon's wry response.

Rotten, stinkin', lousy thing to do, as gratitude for a free meal!

Had a roommate in the USArmy who would eat about 6 boiled
eggs with hot sauce before going to his favorite bar that
was always crowded and man could he clear a room when he
started. And to top it off, he could keep a straight face
while doing it. Always wondered what happened to him.

We'd stopped at the Taco Bell before shooting a couple rounds of trap one evening. I was riding with my buddy, so he was dropping me off at the house, when I ripped a real bad one, an SBD, at that. I got out of the truck and closed the door real fast, trapping the fumes, apparently. He was cussing me pretty hard as he drove off. I have bad sinuses, I can't smell much anyway.
Three days later, his girlfriend got into the truck and asked, "Who schitt in your truck?" Ya know, TO THIS DAY, he hasn't let that die, every chance he gets, he reminds me of that episode........

Let it go, Jim, let it go................

always fun to drop a silencer in a crowded isle in the grocery store

fragged
KIDDING.

My daughter was growing weary of sitting in the blind for hours without any deer sightings. Trying to ease the tension and feeling a poot coming on, I said "I know, I'll use my grunt call." I leaned over and let one rip. As if on cue an eight point Whitetail came trotting around the end of the brush line and looked right at us. We both broke out laughing and scared him off.

She still tells that story from 7 years ago.

Ben Franklin wrote a essay on how to fart proudly in public to George the Third. I wonder if this is what he had in mind?

BTW: I have the essay and it's funnier than heck.

Nope.

O.K., that was funny.

Better to let it out and bear the shame
Than hold it in and bear the pain!

What keeps me here I ask?

Figured there'd be some wit from ya.

If you just walk through as you let R rip, it's called Crop Dusting!

You know this story isn't about Me ... but I'll tell it anyway...
----------------------------------------------------------

There was a small one table pool room in a bar, that was crowded with guys standing around with their backs against all four walls ... Just waiting to challenge, or just watching the games of Nine-Ball.

Entering the crowded room, some fool, stopped in mid doorway and decided to defiantly announce his presence to ALL patrons present - by letting a Big Fart.

The Fart came roaring out in long loud gurgling sounds that succeeded in getting everyones attention. The farter, now with mind nunbing, and looking trough blurring eyes, could see all the previous indifferent looks, change into looks of Shock and Awe.

A little guy, Mike, who was frozen in mid-stretch across the pool table trying to reach and make a difficult shot, had the presence of mind to break the silence, (when the gurgling siezed). Mike turned his head to the side towards the farter and said, "I don't know Pee Wee, but if I were you, I think I'd go out and 'wipe' that one." "It sounded awful wet to me."

The farter muttered ... "Yeh, I guess your right." He turned and retreated with carefully measured small steps.

Mike called out after him, "Hey Pee Wee!" I haven't seen you for a long time, Be sure and come right back! O.K.?

The farter promised he would.

But when he got to the safety of the Rest Room, he decided he wouldn't wear any undewear anymore for the rest of the afternoon, and a warm sense of relief came over him that he had just escaped this potentially embarassing dilema.

He thought, THAT, was the really nice thing about Beer. He could just go to another Bar, get more Beer, and start all over again with a clean slate.

A local bloke here who goes by the nick name "Noddy" had a big night on the grog prior to attending a wedding with his girlfriend.
Partway through proceedings he managed to let out one of those God awful silent beer farts.....being the fellow he is, he turned to his missus and said out loud.."You dirty B!tch".

She left immediately, crying her eyes out in embarrassment....Noddy just acted like nothing happened.

We on the other hand, thought it was as funny as a fight!

That was pretty good. Try this one. I LMAO!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09abF7ZUNnk&feature=related

I say old chap. A bit of loo humour!?