Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Divorce.....for those who have been through it how did you do it? Advise please

I am at my wits end with my marriage of nearly 23 years and feel I am at the end.

It is indeed time to part ways.

For those who have been through it what are the correct steps to do it correctly?

get a therapist to bitch to when she does everything she can to piss you off, they are way cheaper than talking to your lawyer and 99.9% of the time, what you think is "important" isn't.

expect to lose most of what you have saved/ gained so far in life.

stay away from alcohol at least til its over, with the exception of a weekend camping/fishing with the guys to get away. even then don't over do it.

watch out for traps she might set.

What kind of traps should I watch for?

whole lot of different ways that can be right.....how my wife did it with her ex? finely didnt give a chit if he killed her and agreed to anything that would get him out of her life......

if kids are involved its alot more complicated than not......if she is pissed at you it can get real bad......if you both are willing to call it quits and just want to get it overwith and dont want to [bleep] over the other it can be down right easy and not need lawyers.....

Leave.

Sorry to hear it, honestly. That said, and not to sound difficult, but it's a lawyer you need to speak to ASAP. You may get some good advice/insight here, but the most important thing in this, for anyone, is to be properly represented. Best of luck.

pretty much, if you think there is a chance at all she is gonna be pissed bout something in this get a lawyer....

A lot depends on your state's laws. If you have "no fault divorce" it's quite simple.
Assets acquired since marriage are 50/50. If you have income and she has not, you may get tagged with alimony until she remarries or is "rehabilitated" (trained to work). Kids under 21 ? Bend over. Don't move out until the court orders you to.
Make sure the family house gets sold as soon as any kids are gone or if she remarries.
See if your state has the provision that "habitually cohabitating with a person of the opposite sex is grounds for the termination of alimony." (if she shacks up the alimony stops) My attorney won that case before the NYS Court of Appeals (NY's highest court).

You need to find a GOOD attorney who is SPECIALIST in divorce.

It will get tough but don't get rolled as you'll pay forever.

Good luck, you will survive !

Kids are 20 years 8 months and 21 years 7 months.....
Realy just money and propery and 23 years worth of belongings

Go talk to a lawyer vs. asking a bunch of dudes on the internet.

I understand the lawyer is a must do. I was just looking for the "what to avoids" from those who have had to go through it.

There are So many variables to your question.

Kids?
Home owner?
Investments?

Depending on your property(cash,realestate,investments) involved will determine how easy/difficult it will be to finalize a divorce.

Best advice right now would be to STAY COOL! Do not 'cause any Animosity between you both. In my experience(Lol, I have alot) you fued during the divorce, it will only cost you more $$ in the end.

Basically you are going to pay her not to live with you. End of story.

Did she have a career? or home maker?

House 2/3 paid for
1 car with 24 payments to go....hers
the rest of everything else... truck, boat,and 23 years of stuff is paid for

Kids a grown

She works as a secratary and I am a journyman machinist and welder and make over 2x what she does.

I had a guy tell me this the other day so take it for what its worth because I never tried it.


Get a GOOD attorney. Find out the six best dirvorce attorneys where you live and go visit with all them. Pick the nastiest (best) one you can find. She can't hire the other five because you have spoken to them already.

Dink

Take the high road in all things.

If there are children NEVER say bad things about the ex to them, if ya can't say something good say nothing at all.

Don't look back. Live your life.

Don't look for someone else too soon. It will find you in time and you know now how you DO NOT want a relationship to be. Be patient.

Breathe. Do things you always wanted to do. It will eventually heal you.
( I rode a lot of horses.... )

Excellent advice right there....

two I can think of from experience are:

1. getting you so frustrated and pissed off (pushing your buttons) that you do something that's out of character....first wife

2. thinking that it's a lost cause...second wife...we nearly divorced last year after 10 yrs of marriage (came within 30 days)...we had run away from our problems for too long and all the little things had become big problems.....bottom line, we started really communicating again, faced all of our problems and recommitted ourselves to keeping our faith central to our marriage....we have been happier for the last 5 months than we ever were before...at the risk of sounding sappy, she really is my best friend

best piece of advice I have to give: be very careful who's advice you take during times like these.....make sure it's someone who really knows you and your situation...a person who will call you out if you are making a mistake and/or help you think straight if divorce is inevitable, which is hard to do


whatever happens for you....good luck