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A timeless one I first read in an outhouse at a boy scout camp in the '60s.

"Here I sit broken hearted,
tried to [bleep] but only farted."

On the wall of a restroom in the University of Texas library years ago:

"God is not dead, he's alive and hiding in Argentina!"

(You had to grow up in the days when the Nazi hunters were still hunting them down after the war.)

Posted on one of our site porta johns:

Here I sit on the pooper, giving birth to a nys trooper.

on at least half the truckstops in the country here i sit upon the pooper giving brith to a big state trooper all i did was fart and pee guess i'll call it dmv

Never understood it, but liked the humor:

"Please don't throw matchsticks into the urinal. The fiddler crab uses them to pole vault."

Then there is this:

"Now I contemplate my life
I Hate my Job
I hate my wife

I sit upon this great Commode
and leave to you the Mother Load"

"I spent most of my money on booze and women, the rest I just wasted"

This was in the same bar:

Here I sit,
Cheeks a-flexin
Giving birth
to another Texan.

I was taking a State Ferry to Bainbridge Island ( Demonrat infested) someone had used a magic marker and wrote:

" To all you granola mf'rs..a heartfelt FCK-YOU" still puts a smile on my face.

Later on I took a chance, tried to fart and [bleep] my pants

Here I sit broken hearted, came to poop, and only farted.

joe

Here I sit all broken hearted
Paid a dime and only farted

Man I'm too slow, beat me to it.

Please remain seated throughout the entire performance!

Noice!

Seen this one along time ago, it was wrote on one of them paper butt gaskets racks. � FREE ! TAKE ONE,GARTH BROOKS COWBOY HATS. �an I liked his music � eek!

I stopped in a Kansas rest stop about 23:00 one evening with the temp was still hovering around 95 degrees F. Not a pleasant day in a rig without air conditioning. A small 8 1/2 x 11 poster over the urinal listed a contest by the chamber of commerce to document Kansas landmarks worthy of tourist interest.

Frist prize was a 1-week all expense paid vacation in Kansas.
Second prize was a 2-week all expense paid vacation in Kansas.


The butt gasket dispenser lists instructions for extraction as "pull up, then down."
Beneath that in neat lettering was "continue until orgasam."

job site porta john--"shhhhh...baby plumbers hatching"

local college restroom right above the toilet paper--"pull down for diploma"

There must be some rivalry between residents of British Columbia and Alberta, as I read this on a stall wall in a BC restaurant:

Here I sit
My a--hole hurtin
I just gave birth
To another Albertan.

It does no good to stand on the seat, these Texas crabs can jump six feet!

Here I sit and wonder why, I have gas and my mouth is dry.