ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND:
>
> It is important for men to remember that as women grow older,
> it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping
> as when they were younger.
> When you notice this, try not to yell at them.
> Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
>
> My name is Jim.
> Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Terri.
> When I retired a few years ago,
> it became necessary for Terri to get a full-time job along with her part-time job,
> both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
> Shortly after she started working I noticed she was beginning to show her age.
> I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.
>
> Although she knows how hungry I am,
> she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.
> I don't yell at her.
> Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.
> I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable.
> I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.
> She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating,
> but now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
> I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves.
> I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
> Another symptom of aging is complaining. I think.
> For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly
> bills during her lunch hour.
>
> But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse,
> so I just smile and offer encouragement.
> I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days.
> That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any -- if you know what I mean.
> I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
>
> When doing simple jobs,
> she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
> She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard.
> I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man.
> I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and
> just sit for a while.
> And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.
>
> I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Terri.
> I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.
> Many men will find it difficult.
> Some will find it impossible!
> Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
> However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your
> aging wife because of this article,
> I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile.
> After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
>
> Signed,
> Jim
>
> EDITOR'S NOTE:
> Jim died suddenly on February 7 of a perforated rectum.
> The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long
> 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his arse,
> with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer
> laying nearby.
>
> His wife, Terri, was arrested and charged with murder.
> The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty,
> accepting her defence that Jim, somehow without looking,
> accidentally sat down on his golf club.
>