If you were starting fresh and looking for bullets, I'd suggest wadcutters, preferably @148 grains, although 141grn WC's would work too.
But you already have those 124oer's.
Neat thing is the wadcutters usually are propelled at around 800fps or more.
Have you ever looked at ReloadersNest.com? Maybe there you can find a 'Red Dot' load for your bullets in the 800-900fps range'
For home defense hwoever your wife definitely needs to step-up and shoot the most powerful short-barrel .38 ammo that will work in that gun! Even with a 125 or 130 grain snubby load, your wife's piece will still be weaker than a 9mm.
.38 Special is the 'lightest' handgun round I'd recommend or pick for self-defense, provided the shooter is using stout loads! Even plus-P's if possible. Actually I would never own a J-frame or snobby .38, but a .357 ONLY - and shoot .38's most of the time!