Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Ask The Gunwriters Why do meaningless threads go on the longest?.....

Meaningless threads go on forever for one reason:

Everyone thinks he can make it meaningful.

And my work is done here.

Geez, Louise! When will it end?
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Nelford and Me

My buddy Nelford used to read these forums (fora?), but stopped. He thinks you're a bunch of weirdos or city people or both, postin' stuff. Well duh! He's happy not hearin' about things like maglum primers, unidynamic bullets, bi-directional sporting scopes and stuff.

Nelford says that he don't really mind guys postin' stupid questions about how to get more velocity from a 28 gauge, but he had to draw the line when people was poking fun at his favourite huntin' cartridge, the 30-30. He told me that there's nothin' worse than a thread where a guy wants to know which Burnes or Burger bullet will turn his 30-30 lever into a sniper rifle.

"If folks would spend more time shooting the bullets what they keep askin' questions about, and less time typing stupid stuff on webforums, they'd find out what they need to know!"

That's Nelford. The trouble is, he's usually right. The trouble also is, he never went to university, wrote a column for the paper or bought a magazine perscription.

"Steve, some of these fools either shoot a maglum rifle or a 22 hornet. That's okay, but the only damn thing they ever hunt is deers! Folks always seem to be chasin' something farther up the road. Maybe they should spend some time shootin' what they got instead!"

Hmmm, there might be some truth in that.

One day me and Nelford was shooting some 22RF at the range. He asked, �Hey Steve, what the heck is an improved cartridge?�

I said that it had the case walls blown out so a person could get more powder inside.

�Well, if that ain�t the stupidest thing I ever heard! If you need more power, get another rifle! Heck, it costs money, but listen, it's gotta be cheaper than buildin' a rifle for an improved cartridge!

I overheard a guy at the range last week talkin� about one. That'll cost him a lot! More than another rifle - new or used. That fellow has to get his rifle rebarreled, buy new reloading dies and buy really expensive bullets. Strange, high tech bullets. I think he called them 'homogenized'.�

I didn�t really understand all that. �Homogenized bullets?� I asked.

�Yeah, I wasn�t too sure what they was either, but the guy works at the dairy. The way I figure it, he dips his Core-Lokts in milk or cream cheese to coat them.�

�What for, Nelford?�

�I dunno. He likely read that in a gun magazine. He kept sayin' them bullets shot as slick as snot on a doorknob. I figure the milk makes �em slippery, comin� out of the barrel. But since they're 'homogenized', I�m thinkin� that you�d have to use them before they go sour.�

It made perfect sense to me. But where does a guy get silly ideas like dipping bullets in milk? Nelford had an answer for that too.

"I told ya, Steve, from gunwriters! Okay, so if a fellow needs more horsepower, he should just buy another rifle, right? Just like what you outta do, Steve. I know that you done most of your huntin' with small fry stuff like a 22 rimfire and a 20 ga, but what about moose? You own a 22 Hornet and a 30-30. It's time to improve!"

I knew that it was useless, but I tried to convince him that I had everything I needed.

"Nelford, I don't need a new gun. I haven't worn out my old ones yet! I ain't huntin' in Africa or scared of bein' chased by a polar bear. Besides, nothin' ever got away from my 30-30."

"Hah! Says you! We don't always see what happens when you're out huntin', Steve. How do we know that you ain't never missed or was undergunned?"

Nelford was gettin' wound up. Best to give him some rein and he'd tire.

"Now look Steve, I know that you love your 30-30, but like that hippy singer says, 'the times, they are a changin'! You gotta look at getting a 303 British or maybe a 300 Savage."

I didn't see the point, but Nelford wouldn't let up.

"The point? Johnny, Jacob and Joseph, son! You need the extra horsepower!"

He had pretty much worn me down, so I gave up. Fine, if Nelford thought I needed a new rifle, then I'd use the money I was savin' for the wife's Christmas present and buy one!

"Hey Nelford, where did you get them stupid ideas?"

"From gunwriters, of course!"

And that's typical of the stuff that me and Nelford talk about when we get together. It's rarely meaningful, but always entertaining.

Hey Tahnka,

I resemble that remark

EVERYTHING I say IS meaningful.

Or perhaps not.


OK How about a few really COOL photos. That would really make this meaningless thread meaningful. Maybe.




This is fantastic




Always wanted to be able to do this.





Total and unabashed happiness.





Karen's absolutely favorite hunting photo.




Steve

Steve,
I think you've just derailed a perfectly __________ thread. (I'm not sure of the right adjective.) Nice derailment however!

Because everyone has at least some meaningless experience.

Thank you. This thread amply demonstrates that even meaningless people can contribute!

I think Mule Deer has wrapped up his case your honor.........

The many giving the few a lot to feel superior to.

Is there a catchy word for meaningless information.

I'd like to add its mastery to my Renaissance man resume.

Look! This one even caught-up Dr. Howell in it's meaningless tentacles. I'm surprised, Ken. But then, your depth and breadth never cease to.

State of the Union Address.

I couldn't weather the vetting process to make that pay grade.

Although I'd take the heat off Herman Cain.

This needs to be emblazoned on a bronze plaque and placed in a time capsule for the benefit of future generations.

Truly the wisdom of the ages

Great pictures. I love the elk.

More and more being written about less and less?

�Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.�

Henry David Thoreau


Steve

"Don't walk through a dog park in your bare feet."

- Stephen Edward Redgwell

Steve, that is a spooky one.


My biggest fear in life is laying on my deathbed wishing I'd had more fun.

Trying like hell to make sure that ain't gonna happen....grin

My favorite quote. I could die a content man tomorrow.