Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Your *opinions* on marriage....

I think in-laws can be a big part of the ease of a marriage. I have wonderful in-laws, my MIL is my other emergency contact after my wife, I speak to my brother in law about once a week, we have different hobbies and interests but a great "brother" relationship.
My wife has rough in-laws (my folks) the tend to be a little overbearing, they mean well but..., I speak to my sister about 1 a month at best and my wife and my sister speak when they see each other once a year or so.

If my inlaws moved in with us, dinner would be ready every day, we would fight over the TV remote and the dog would lose his bedroom, if my folks moved in my marriage would be over and i might just lose my mind.

A good marriage pretty much depends on who you decide to marry.

I lived with my wife(in sin...) for several years before we both decided the other wasn't crazy and then we got married.

Heathen!

Did the same thing as Sam, co-habitated for 2 yrs, "I'm not gonna marry a man until I see how he reacts when he's mad!", so she said. Fallout from her 1st marriage.

10 yrs, we've never had a fight. Both of us did enough of that the 1st time around. If I could clone her I'd never work again.

Nothing better than to be married to a good woman and nothing worst to be married to bad mean one

I read the following on this board a good while back. I don't remember which member here said it, but I thought it made a lot of sense and I remembered it ---

"...being married is like digging for diamonds in a pile of gravel.....only to discover that the gravel itself was the treasure all along!"

Been happily married for 2 years, the other 27 have been hell.

Yep. Know what you expect in a marriage and then choose wisely.

1.5 years of marriage. We have a 5 mo daughter. Couldn't be happier. Marriage to the right person is great.

Wish I never married. Almost wish I never dated.





Sam Kinison, where are you?

gonehuntin;
Well sir you've certainly asked an interesting question and have thus far received some equally interesting answers.

A young lady at work asked me one day if marriage was always "this much work" and more or less here was my reply.

When I was a kid I dreamed of someday riding horses in the mountains and hunting off of them. Now please understand that I'd never seen a mountain in my life at that point, but that's what I wanted to do.

In the fullness of time as they say, my good wife and I moved first to BC, then to our own chunk of acreage and then proceeded to get our own horses.

For the entire time the horses were in our lives I got up every morning before work or even going hunting in fall and fed and watered them.

After work I'd feed and water them again, check their hooves and just fool with them a bit so they stayed used to me and then I'd fork some manure.

Over the 17 years we had the horses I forked enough manure that I really should be considering a career in politics, but I never once considered it work.

As long as I expected those glorious fall mornings chasing mulies from the back of our Appy mare, I knew that the daily chores had to be done and by doing them I was most blessed in that I got to fulfill those childhood dreams many times over.

At no time did I ever expect our horses to be able to open the gate themselves, flake off the right amount of hay for themselves or figure out how to run the hydrant to fill their water tank. As long as I had them I knew that was my end of the equation.

Marriage is kinda like having horses in your life in that it's going to need the chores done daily in order to work right.

The folks that I know who have successful marriages have found partners that they like doing the chores with and don't consider it work.

Hopefully that all made sense to you sir and all the best to you whichever way this turns out.

I've just proof read this and see I've neglected to mention that in a month and couple weeks we'll be married 31 years. I don't recall us raising our voices to each other more than a handful of times in those years either, so by most folks' standards we've done OK that way.

Again all the best to you sir and good luck on your hunts this fall too.

Regards,
Dwayne

I have been involved in my own good marriage for 27 years, and participated in dissolving about 500 of them. I think I have heard just about every story in the book as to why marriages might fail, but when you really break most of these stories down, it usually comes down to 1 of 3 things.

1. a lack of safety
2. a lack of respect
3. a lack of desire

my wife and i had the same view, we lived together for 3 years before getting married.....knew we could get along and stick together through the good and the bad...

We will celebrate 42 years next month It has never been work.

We have always been on the same wavelength when it comes to religion, money, career, child-raising, politics, etc. I can only remember two or three spats in all that time.

After I first met her parents (who are challenging, to be kind), she asked me what I thought of them. I replied, "I don't see a thing wrong with your folks that five hundred miles won't cure."

She liked that answer.

Consequently, we have always lived a long way from both of our families, and that has been a very good thing for our marriage.

We called all the shots and took total responsibility for our choices.

Acted like grownups, in other words.

And we have always been absolutely faithful to each other. No hanky panky at all, ever, not even flirting with anyone else.

It has been a winning formula!

I've always have seen the secret is to always make your spouse important to you... when you first get married it is easy, because she is important to you... but as the relationship grows longer in time, many become complacent..

I always make sure to let my wife know that she is important to me every single day, and a lot more than once...

and I make myself focus on her being important to me..

I learned all of that as a young man working as a nurse in hospitals.. and watching seniors in their final years.. some argued like crazy and some acted like teenagers in love for the first time after 50 years of marriage...

bottom line secret, was they lived their lives, like teenagers in love for the first time... for 50 years.. making the other always know how important they were to them...

EASY to 'get' married... Lot's of work to 'stay' married... With the right person - it's more than worthwhile.. With the wrong person - it's hell on earth..

BTDT...

The divorce rate for those who live together is as high or higher than for those who don't. The theory sounds good but it doesn't work.

I've been married for well over 20 years now, and every day has it's challenges and pitfalls. Fidelity has never been an issue for us, and we are still very much in love. That being said, any 2 people have different views on things, us included, which is where the heavy lifting in a relationship comes into play. I'm about as die hard republican conservative as they come, and she's a yellow dog democrat, so our political views are a constant opportunity. Nothing good every comes without hard work, including marriage. If you think it's all just going to be 100% perfect from day 1 to the end of time you're in for a very rude awakening.

Steelhead nailed it. Love is a choice!

I've seen three marriages end recently due to cheating. Having talked to both parties in all three marriages - I would suggest finding someone with the same sexual drive that you have. Apparently when one partner wants it all the time, and the other couldn't care less about intimacy, bad things result.