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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 7,821 |
A very successful attorney parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office,
ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out,
a truck came along too closely and completely tore off the driver's door.
Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident
and pulled up behind the Lexus with his lights flashing.
Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions,
the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus,
which he had just purchased the day before,
was completely ruined and would never be the same,
no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant,
the cop shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said.
"You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing?
It was severed when the truck hit you!"
"OH, MY GOD!!!" screamed the lawyer. "My Rolex !!"
�Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program." -- Milton Friedman
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Sean
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,374
Campfire Regular
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Joined: Apr 2014
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There is a reason why Americans have little respect for lawyers.
�If tyranny and oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.�
***US President James Madison***
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Joined: Jan 2007
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Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2007
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Yup, a couple of centuries ago when doctors were still bleeding people with leeches, lawyers were writing the constitution. Everybody loves to hate a lawyer....till they need one.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 28,377
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 28,377 |
And now lawyers are bleeding doctors like leeches. Times do change... 
Gunnery, gunnery, gunnery.
Hit the target, all else is twaddle!
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 33,856
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 33,856 |
Buy a door knob and probably half the cost goes to lawyers.
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time by the blood of patriots and tyrants.
If being stupid allows me to believe in Him, I'd wish to be a retard. Eisenhower and G Washington should be good company.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,099
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,099 |
Whaddya have with 6 lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
A sand shortage.
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 725
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
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What is black & brown & looks good on a lawyer?
A Doberman
All laws which are repugnant to the Constitution are null and void. � Marbury v. Madison, 5 U.S. (2 Cranch) 137 (1803)
NRA LIfe Member
GOA
SAF
CCRKBA
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 4,327
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
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Rang my bells and thanks.
Got a really good laugh out of it.
Steve
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Joined: Apr 2013
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fence between heaven and hell blew down.
God calls up the Devil and tell him he has rebuild it.
ain't gonna says the devil, God says you better or i'll sue you.
Devil laughs and asks " where are you going to get any lawyers"
the consolidation of the states into one vast republic, sure to be aggressive abroad and despotic at home, will be the certain precursor of that ruin which has overwhelmed all those that have preceded. Robert E Lee
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Jan 2007
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 11,517 |
They all a joke in some way
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,842
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
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Why don't they put pictures of lawyers on stamps?
People would spit on the wrong side.
Quando omni flunkus moritati
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Joined: Nov 2006
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Campfire Outfitter
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So the devil needs a book keeper and he's got it narrowed down to three applicants: a CPA, a CMA and a lawyer.
The CPA interviews first. The devil asks, "What's 2+2?
The CPA says, "4". He get's the , "You'll be hearing from us."
Same question to the CMA. Same answer. Same result.
Now it's the lawyer's turn. "What's 2 + 2"?
Lawyer gets up, shut's the office door, pulls the shade over the office window, puts his hands on the edge of the desk, leans over and says to the devil, "What do you want it to be?"
He got the job.
It's got to be true, I heard it from a lawyer in a lawyer's office.
Mathew 22: 37-39
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 15,521 |
Yup . . . . Everybody loves to hate a lawyer....till they need one. They hate them even when they need one - because the lawyers, including the elevated ones in black robes, have manipulated the laws and the "justice" system to make it their own dollar tree.
NRA Member - Life, Benefactor, Patron
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Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2007
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Lawyers don't bleed doctors, jury's do - based on facts after both sides have presented their cases. 83,000 deaths a year from medical mistakes alone; more than all the vehicle deaths in the country.
Of course, lawyers kick out all the illegal aliens in the country and prosecute all the crimes too.
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Posts: 59,140
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 59,140 |
Bob bet Woodsie-Boy will win another major...
nyuk nyuk nyuk....
Ex- USN (SS) '66-'69
Pro-Constitution.
LET'S GO BRANDON!!!
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2009
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Deerstalker and CCCC are dang right!
Last edited by JohnnyLoco; 07/22/14.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 67,694
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 67,694 |
Yup, a couple of centuries ago when doctors were still bleeding people with leeches, lawyers were writing the constitution. Everybody loves to hate a lawyer....till they need one. the only time you need one, is when you have to do battle with someone else's attorney. After they go at it, tooth and nail in court, they slap each other on the back, and go off arm in arm for a cold one, or to play a round of golf with the judge.
Sam......
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Joined: Jun 2006
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,382 |
Lawyers don't bleed doctors, jury's do - based on facts after both sides have presented their cases. Yes - AFTER the judge/lawyer and the defense and prosecuting lawyers decide how much, and what quality, evidence the jury actually hears!
I've always been a curmudgeon - now I'm an old curmudgeon.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 15,521
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 15,521 |
Lawyers don't bleed doctors, jury's do - based on facts after both sides have presented their cases. 83,000 deaths a year from medical mistakes alone; more than all the vehicle deaths in the country.
Of course, lawyers kick out all the illegal aliens in the country and prosecute all the crimes too. If you think you can make a good case for the legal "profession" (in general) on this forum, you are whistling in the graveyard. Too many smart guys here know too much about what the lawyers have done to pollute this once great system - the way lawyers now control and milk it to their own advantages. Yes, some of us know fine people who are reputable and very skilled attorneys, but those seem rare. The bulk of the "system" is rotten to the core. Do you have any convincing evidence to the contrary?
NRA Member - Life, Benefactor, Patron
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