Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Hilarious Fart-in-Church Story

That was funny before you even got to the funny part!

Dud you have no idea how much I can relate to that whole story. Hilarious ,we 're not related are we? LOL

What a funny thread! Thank ya'll for posting your stories.

Loved it. Sitting here laughing my ass off and wifey asked what was going on. Passed her the laptop and she lost it shortly after she started reading.

That happened to my cousin and me when we were about 12-13 years old, he was the guilty party though. We were watching some kind of a movie in church and he had to let loose. Unfortunately for him he picked probably the only quiet part of the movie, it was totally silent when he let 'er rip. We were second row from the front, to this day I can remember the two people sitting in front of us turning around in horror completely disgusted. Of course the jerk tried to blame me but we all knew it was him. My dad always sat in the back of the church and he clearly heard it and thought it was quite funny too.

Ah yes good memories, I may need to phone my cousin soon and remind him of the incident........

Nothen like a church creeper

Actually I just remembered I got my cousin back a number of years later, I was sick and had the most awful gas and a little bit slipped out, it hit him and he sniffed twice and then was swaying around a lot. I waited an appropriate amount of time and then went to the bathroom

Call 911 for me please. Ribs broke, gut muscles torn...howl in'!

ROTFLMFAO !

Oh boy! This is a funny thread! Some good humor. My guts are aching. Nothin' like a few "farting in church" stories!

Great read,funny story

Thanks for sharing. I'm in tears.

My sides hurt.......

Great story, Center.

My friend Scott and I went to Easter service at his church with his mother. The congregation was larger than normal so they had a bunch of metal fold out chairs spread out and Scotts mom made us sit in 2 of them up front so we didn't slip out the back to go outside and play. Scott wasn't thrilled with being caged in like that and about halfway through the service he starts giggling and nudging me. He whispered "watch this" and he grabbed the sides of the metal chair and sucked his ass down to it as tight as he could and he let one go. It was the single loudest fart I have ever heard and it was in a quiet church...on easter.... I will never forget his mom Caroline having him by both ears and jerking his ass outside. People were laughing and and all in all it was hilarious

Not in church, but when I was a kid we used to go see my older sis in Tallahassee (we lived in upstate SC) and I would lay across the back seat with a shirt over my face and nap. I often layed out incredibly bad, lecherous, dank SBD's, and layed there like I was asleep. My parents would say "Oh my goodness, what IS that???" My dad would usually say something like 'Man, must be a paper mill or something...Phew it's getting worse, we must be getting closer to one!"
Wasn't until about the third trip down that they figgered out there ain't no paper mills in middle Georgia.................

Thats funny we have a papermill nearby. When we go by and it stinks we always blame one of my daughters. They are getting smart and now blame me.

My dad leaned over to adjust the kneeler behind a pew and ripped a loud one accidently. Just popped out. He then said "BOY", jerked me up by one arm, took me outside, lit him up a Marlboro smoke and told me to go play on the playground until the service was over.

Great story.

I've told this before, but it is a great story.

We had an old cat who liked to sleep on his back behind the couch, propped up by it on one side and the wall on the other.

Cat loved raw liver, but it created horrible smells when passing through said cat.

One Saturday night, Dad struck it rich when going through the butcher's scrap box (remember things like that?) and found a load of liver that had been in the case too long and thrown out.

Brought liver home for cat.

Cat consumed liver with gusto.

We move to the next evening when the folks had people over for coffee following church.

Living room filled with people enjoying conversation and coffee.

Cat sleeping peacefully behind couch, presence unknown to assembled multitude.

Green cloud begins to envelop room and its occupants.

Everyone pretending to not notice the gas attack, all the while wondering who it is that is responsible.

Finally, Dad puts two and two together and comes up with cat.

Dad stalks over to end of couch, extracts cat from place of repose, opens front door, slings cat into outer darkness, and returns to his seat and coffee.

Converation resumes throughout room as though nothing happened.