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Joined: Aug 2007
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Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13 |
Things do not make us happy nor do things have anything to do with love. That's not true at all. Lots of possessions make me happy. My house. My truck. My guns. My wife. New tires. Beer. A picture of Mike Ditka. Fox News. The list is endless. Travis
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,740
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: May 2007
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Sit the kids down & explain the situation in the kindest, gentlest way you can. I disagree. The kids will be panicked, and will clamor for answers. You're a long way from having answers for them, so they'll just be anxious as hell until you do. Instead, I'd suggest you carry on as normally as possible 'til you've got things settled, then tell the kids. That's my $.02, and it's FREE. FC
"Every day is a holiday, and every meal is a banquet."
- Mrs. FC
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,229
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Sep 2013
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Well said. The OP said hard work 40 to60 hours a week to provide big house with pool. Things do not make us happy nor do things have anything to do with love. Amen ! Never met a dollar that made me happy, but I can think of many shared walks and talks and laughs and even tears that have.... This is sage advice for all of us to heed. It is easy to get "caught up in things" and let this get lost in the shuffle. OP I hope for you and all involved sake that things turn out the best they can be. Good luck and God Bless. twofish
*Master of random precision*
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Joined: May 2011
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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,301 Likes: 9 |
Don't have time to read the whole thread before work, but you got some good advice early on.
Beware the "it's over for sure" advice, nobody can say that. It's not over until it's over. Most of us have taken a royal screwing at the hands of a screwed up woman, so it taints our perspective some. If we were honest, most of us were at least partially complicit in our own screwing, in some way. If nothing else, we had a good dose of wishful thinking going. Alot of the advice is geared to keeping you realistic for this reason. Keep your head and take care of business.
To me it sounds like you're a self-made man that places too much value on the $. Since when did money make everything perfect? If you were poor you could still be happy with the right spouse. If you're rich with the wrong spouse, forget it. Also sounds like you made life more about you and your career and less about being a servant husband, in the sense that your purpose is to help her realize fulfillment in her life. Sure, you did all the material things, but those don't fulfill her, they fulfill you.
Since this is the campfire, I'm assuming someone already told you to pork her sister, her best friend, and the nearest college cheerleader you can find. Don't go that route.
Last edited by Fireball2; 01/21/15.
_______________________________________________________
An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack
LOL
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Joined: Oct 2002
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Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Oct 2002
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Well said. The OP said hard work 40 to60 hours a week to provide big house with pool. Things do not make us happy nor do things have anything to do with love. Amen ! Never met a dollar that made me happy, but I can think of many shared walks and talks and laughs and even tears that have.... It's easy to say when you have money. If you're working too many hours to support the family the wife wants you home more. If you are home more and barely paying the bills the wife wants you working more.
"Dear Lord, save me from Your followers"
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13 |
Don't have time to read the whole thread before work, but you got some good advice early on.
Beware the "it's over for sure" advice, nobody can say that. It's not over until it's over. Most of us have taken a royal screwing at the hands of a screwed up woman, so it taints our perspective some. If we were honest, most of us were at least partially complicit in our own screwing, in some way. If nothing else, we had a good dose of wishful thinking going. Alot of the advice is geared to keeping you realistic for this reason. Keep your head and take care of business.
To me it sounds like you're a self-made man that places too much value on the $. Since when did money make everything perfect? If you were poor you could still be happy with the right spouse. If you're rich with the wrong spouse, forget it. Also sounds like you made life more about you and your career and less about being a servant husband, in the sense that your purpose is to help her realize fulfillment in her life. Sure, you did all the material things, but those don't fulfill her, they fulfill you.
Since this is the campfire, I'm assuming someone already told you to pork her sister, her best friend, and the nearest college cheerleader you can find. Don't go that route. This entire post is the gayest thing since AIDS. Travis
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Joined: Feb 2001
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2001
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Oh, the drama.
He ought to tell her this:
A six pack and a thirty minute nap and I won't even remember your name.
Never holler whoa or look back in a tight place
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Joined: Nov 2009
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Nov 2009
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Don't move out, biggest mistake you can make. Hire an attorney today.
You have as much right to the house and kids as she does but it will be a fight. A fight you can win.
I went through this many years ago and got custody of my two boys when they were six and eight. Had to sell the house and split the proceeds. The mother had visitation rights.
I raised them and paid for everything through college. It wasn't easy and it certainly wasn't cheap but it was the best thing I ever did. I didn't remarry until they were both out of college and off my payroll.
Remember this and repeat it daily: "Bless those who disappoint you for they are leading you to a better place". The wisdom of this may not become apparent for several years.
www.paracay.comIt's better to live rich than die rich. Live simply so that I may simply live large.
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2005
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Things do not make us happy nor do things have anything to do with love. That's not true at all. Lots of possessions make me happy. My house. My truck. My guns. My wife. New tires. Beer. A picture of Mike Ditka. Fox News. The list is endless. Travis I was only four sips into my coffee and almost neti potted my dark roast.
Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.
--Winston Churchill
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Joined: Feb 2014
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Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
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Having been where you are, please heed the advice from several responders...protect your assets. She has made her decision and I doubt she is going to change her mind. I did not protect mine and lost almost everything. She has joint access to all of your accounts and she will use those assets. Everyone I know that has gone through this has experienced the same. Get a good attorney right now. If she is saying the marriage is over, you need to listen to her. She made that decision months ago and is just now telling you. Good luck.
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13 |
I was only four sips into my coffee and almost neti potted my dark roast.
Is that an encrypted way of stating you almost fugged yourself? Travis
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Joined: Feb 2004
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 46,745 |
When they're done, they're done...... Yep. There's no changing their mind. And if they decide to come back, it's temporary. It may not be what you want to hear but... suck it up, pick yourself up by the boot straps and move on....or don't. It's your choice. If you choose option "a", in a year you'll be a better person for it. You may realize it wasn't as good as you thought it was. I wish you and your children luck.
Camp is where you make it.
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13 |
I think 222 Rem just invented a new pick up line.
"Can I neti-pot your dark roast?"
Travis
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 10,718
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 10,718 |
I was only four sips into my coffee and almost neti potted my dark roast.
Is that an encrypted way of stating you almost fugged yourself? Travis Almost.......
Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.
--Winston Churchill
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 10,718 |
I think 222 Rem just invented a new pick up line.
"Can I neti-pot your dark roast?"
Travis Add that to "can I have a Nut Hugger? 
Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.
--Winston Churchill
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Joined: Aug 2006
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 20,554 |
Anymore..... After 15 years and 4 children, youngest is 6. She does not think she wants to continue our marriage.She said she still cares for me, but not love. I have a marriage counsel set up for next monday, but it don't look good. She said diff.individual events over the past 10 years have caused her to loose the love. I have not done anything that would warrant a divorce, stuff that most should forgive and forget. I asked about the thousands of great things that I think that I have done for her/us---the family, and I guess its never enough. She has not had to work for the past 14 years, we have a beautiful house, vacation at the beach 3 weeks a year, a pool in the back yard----- a life that I think most woman would love to have------------I am fit, in shape, and have never had a problem in the looks dept. I love her like I have never loved another. Has anyone of you guys turned this situation around????? You may turn it around, but she has a boyfriend. And to expound on this a little further, if she does have someone on the side, there has to be a reason for it. IMO, that reason might be that she is getting something (other than sex) from him that is missing in your relationship with her. I went through this about 15 years ago myself and no matter how hard I tried to fix it, it was not fixable so I sucked it up and moved on, literally. Best of luck to you.
That's ok, I'll ass shoot a dink.
Steelhead
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,068 |
I think 222 Rem just invented a new pick up line.
"Can I neti-pot your dark roast?"
Should be wildly successful at Ag Expos, County Fairs, and Livestock Sales everywhere.
Mercy ceases to be a virtue when it enables further injustice. -Brent Weeks
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 24,616 |
Things do not make us happy nor do things have anything to do with love. That's not true at all. Lots of possessions make me happy. My house. My truck. My guns. My wife. New tires. Beer. A picture of Mike Ditka. Fox News. The list is endless. Travis I can't believe You forgot COCK.
Have Dog
Will Travel
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Joined: Feb 2009
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 16,248 |
Don't have time to read the whole thread before work, but you got some good advice early on.
Beware the "it's over for sure" advice, nobody can say that. It's not over until it's over. Most of us have taken a royal screwing at the hands of a screwed up woman, so it taints our perspective some. If we were honest, most of us were at least partially complicit in our own screwing, in some way. If nothing else, we had a good dose of wishful thinking going. Alot of the advice is geared to keeping you realistic for this reason. Keep your head and take care of business.
To me it sounds like you're a self-made man that places too much value on the $. Since when did money make everything perfect? If you were poor you could still be happy with the right spouse. If you're rich with the wrong spouse, forget it. Also sounds like you made life more about you and your career and less about being a servant husband, in the sense that your purpose is to help her realize fulfillment in her life. Sure, you did all the material things, but those don't fulfill her, they fulfill you.
Since this is the campfire, I'm assuming someone already told you to pork her sister, her best friend, and the nearest college cheerleader you can find. Don't go that route. This entire post is the gayest thing since AIDS. Travis Not so fast there Quick Draw... "First, get her to a doctor for a full thyroid workup to rule that out"
Epstein didn't kill himself.
"Play Cinnamon Girl you Sonuvabitch!"
Biden didn't win the election.
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 4,092
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 4,092 |
Move on and don't look back. Keep the kids at the front of your priority list and be nice. I agree with one of the other posts, get a good female divorce attorney. Remember, you can't control another person, but you can control what you do. Life will suck for awhile, but you won't get more than you can handle. Better days will be ahead. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
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