if yo' momma has ever come out of the bathroom and yelled, "Y'all want to come see this 'un 'fore I flush it?"

If you have to mow your grass, to find your pickup.........

If your gun safe is bigger than your fridge

If there's more duct tape inside your refrigerator than on your shovel handles.

Does that count if mine is a chest type freezer?

Yes...

If you leave your index fingernail long so you can pick your nose.

Don't laugh you know you do it......

If you plug your house into an outlet, you're a redneck.

If you clean your ears with your truck key...

If your first home pulls your second.

Kent

not sure what a redneck is, but I have been accused of being one.

if you go to family re-unions to find a date.........

If you have a squirrel trap in your yard, and are proud of your squirrel pot pie...

If you live in a travel trailer and own a big screen TV.

Kent

Now DAMN IT !! I resemble that remark !!!!

Mickey-zat a turd or tampon?

If pissing at night involves a flashlight and shoes.

Somebody hollers ho down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

I must be a redneck because several of those scenarios fit!

Myron

Shoes?!

If you ever tried to use food stamps to mail a watermelon.

If you tow your non running cars, and pickups everywhere you move.

oh no.....

I use my pinky, and I keep my nail short long nails will cause a nose bleed.

Is that an individual gun safe, or all the gun safes added together?

Or does even having to ask make me a redneck?

Clint what kind of Dane do you have... and did you get the ears done?

Snake

If you think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.

For me,there is no "might be" I r a redneck.

Haha me too!

My current boss came from corporate Chicago where he was born and raised. He always calls me a redneck because I like to hunt and fish etc.

One day I met him in the hallway and he was dressed to the 9's in jacket/tie/wing tip shoes etc.

I asked him "what's the occasion?" He said "what do you mean?"

I said "WHY ur gussied up purtier than a blue ribbon hog!"

His mouth dropped open and he said "Geezus you scare the phuuck out of me!" lol

If barbequed raccoon is for supper. powdr

possum pie.

If "Possum Helper" is in your cupboard.

If you are so darn poor that even your rainbows are in black and white.

If ya cut a 10 inch hole in the bed of yer brand new truck for a stack that looks like a stove pipe.....Or if you got a $5,000 four wheeler ,and live in a $2,000 house trailer,....or if your deer rifle is a 22 mag...or you've been driving around on a Mickey Mouse spare for a year...If you brag that your 5 year old is already rubbing Copenhagen,and she's a girl.

That's funny.

all rednecks know'you can pick your nose and you can pick your friends,but you can't pick your friends nose'

if you walk your child to school cause you're both in the same grade.

If your newest piece of furniture just had the wire wound off of it......

I guess I'm a redneck. I actually told this to my 8 year old girl just the other day.

Big time!

If anyone has ever told your momma to "watch her language cuzz there's truck drivers in here"

You've spent a night camped in a Wall-mart parking lot.

If cleaning the toilet bowl simply means you pee harder...

If your girlfriend's cell number has nothing to do with a phone.

Dang. Now there's 2 items in this thread on my list.

If I get to 3 does that make me an uber-redneck?

If your making out with a chic and she says, brother your crushing my cigarettes!

or, if you mow your grass, and find a pickup you didn't know was there!

Flashlight?

I've counted 4 that apply so far...

If the Elementary School has student parking.

When I started teaching in the early 1970s, some of the 8th grade boys drove cars or rode motorcycles to school so they could go to work as soon as school was out. This was at the start of tomato and pumpkin farming in our neighborhood. They did not park on school property and did not create any issues for us, so the principal quietly told them that if they did not cause problems he would not turn them in.

I can think of some favorite dealings where I used the term "most redneck thing ever " to laugh with these folks.

1. involved a divorce where the wife got the deer blind but the husband got the stand it was on. That was a rather tense separation. (Tx)

2. a friend whose son killed his first deer from the press box of a dirt track raceway near their home (Ar)

I just thought of a third. My rancher buddy's neighbor had the porch of his trailer home repossessed. How such a thing is possible is beyond me but that was how it was explained when I asked where it went. It was painted a sort of lavender color to match and hence, my buddy's reason for planting of a long row of photinias between them and him. (Tx)

Stop looking.It only gets worse.

But you gotta shoot them behind the ear by spot light oR it don't count.

My all time favorite courtesy of Jeff Foxworthy: " If you've ever been too drunk to fish!"

I aint no redneck,but I think my hounds might be rednecks ,and just last week they caught the neighbors cat,and made it squeel like a pig.

If you wonder, if you divorced your wife, would she still be your cousin?