Look for something with Polartec. I've two older Patagonia soft shells with Polartec Power Shield Pro and they are very sturdy, wind resistant and breathable. Since they don't make them anymore, I would check Sitka, KUIU, etc., for something made of Power Shield or even Neoshell. Though I have no personal experience with the Neoshell I have heard from reputable sources that it is an outstanding fabric for a breathable soft shell garment. I guess I should note that for a really good softshell that is breathable I would go with the uninsulated types. Use an under layer(s) for insulation. At least that's how I would play it.
Edit: some of the Polartec power shield products are extremely abrasion resistant. Very hard to tear and will last you a long time indeed.
+1 for the Power Shield. They used that in the now-extinct Patagonia KnifeRidge jacket. Heck of a jacket, I was real bummed to see them go, but I stocked up and have a couple waiting in reserve. It seems like pretty darn breathable stuff too.
The OP should also check out the Patagonia Nano Puff. Wind proof, DWR, light, silent, etc.
