I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large fries, ear of corn & a jumbo hot dog.
A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I

> haven't eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said

> 'sorry about the wait'. I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually'.

I walked past a beggar sitting at a bus stop

> as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any

> Change?' I said, 'Nope, you're still a beggar'.

Snow in the forecast and

> the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to

> myself, 'fat chance', with a face like that!

Years ago it was suggested

> that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are

> now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter

> speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her

> mouth closed

Last edited by Bugger; 01/31/19.

I prefer classic.
Semper Fi
I used to run with the hare. Now I'm envious of the tortoise and I do my own stunts but rarely intentionally