Remington's 1187 20 gauge is heavy for a 20 gauge, so that should help soften recoil. It is said to be a reliable workhouse. I went with one. Unfortunately it has the the famous Remington rust attracting finish, so I'll have to stay on top of it.
I have 2 of the 1187 youth 20s. Light they are not, but soft recoiling is their thing. Haven't used them enough to comment on durability but lots of folks seem to really like them. I got them on clearance at Wal-Mart for $250 plus tax each for my two young boys to grow into.
Best of luck!
