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Three Older Men Discuss the Beer Virus at the Range



As always, Dave was the first to speak.

"Well, it's just about time for the annual flu shot. I get one every year. I wonder when they will have a vaccine for the Beer Virus? Edmund, your grandson is a pharmacist. What's the poop?"

"I don't know, Dave. And I don't care. I won't get a flu shot - ever! When I was in the army, the medical people always talked about "special shots" given to the troops. They wanted us to do whatever we were told! Shots like that were some kind of government mind control!"

Ken started laughing and said, "Edmund, why would the government want to control what's left of your mind?"

Dave started talking, but Ken told him to shush. "I want to hear Edmund's explanation. Do you get your information from those Men in Black*? Wait a minute. Probably not. They want to control your mind too, right Edmund?"

"Grow up, Ken. This is serious stuff! Everybody knows there is no such thing as Men in Black! How old do you think I am? I'm talking about the secret branch of the RCMP that kills off pensioners!"

"Ah...I had forgotten about them." Ken just shook his head and threw a gookie.

Dave couldn't keep quiet. "I don't know if it's a secret RCMP squad or not, but the government does get rid of people who cause trouble or cost them too much money!"

"Hah! Do you hear what he's saying, Ken? We may not cause any trouble, but we have been on pension for years!"

Ken looked straight at Edmund and said, "Alright. I'll bite. You're the oldest. Why don't you fill us in?"

"Okay, but this conversation cannot leave the room!" Edmund motioned for his buddies to come closer, and put his finger to his lips. "You can't let them know that you suspect anything..."

"Suspect what?"

"Oh, for God's sake, Ken! I just told you. There is a secret branch of the RCMP what gets rid of older people on pension!"

Dave nodded his head in agreement. "They call it the 'P Squad' "

Ken responded in a low, serious tone. "Yes. The Pee Squad. P standing for pee, of course. It's a bane of getting up in years. Do these youngsters come to your house armed with a box of Depends?"

Edmund looked angry. "Listen, I'm taking a hell of a chance even telling you this! Keep your smart ass comments to yourself! The P Squad is the 'Pensioners Squad'. They are tasked with bumping off older folks so the government can save some money! What do you think of that?"

Ken rolled his eyes. "I don't think much of it. Is there a magic age when they appear? When they bump you off, do they use an untraceable firearm?"

"I expected a stupid response like that. I'll spell it out for you. They don't kill you at a certain age. It's a kind of pensioner's lottery. But the kind you don't wanna win! And they don't shoot you. You will die from a fall, a heart attack..."

"Or the Beer Virus!" Dave smiled.

"Exactly! Haven't you noticed that more old people have died than young people?"

Ken threw up his hands and announced his departure. "I have to go. You're right, of course. It does seem odd that more old people die than young ones. Sneaky thing the government did when they came up with 'the COVID'. They can reduce the surplus population, reduce monthly pension pay outs and help feed more people by reducing food consumption in Canada!"

Edmund didn't catch the sarcasm. He just smiled and nodded. "Now you're getting it, Ken. The government has it in for old people!"

^ https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Men_in_black